[00:00:20] Speaker A: Welcome back to the long awaited return of everybody loves everybody loves Raymond. My name is Alex Shearer, and I am your brand spanking new elected mayor of beautiful, limbrook New York. US of A. How are y'all doing tonight? I know you can't answer that. This is a podcast, but I am going to ask that same question to my two friends who also join me here in the beautiful town hall of Limbrook. Firstly. Adam rudy.
[00:00:49] Speaker B: Hello, everyone. One adam rudy. Here I am. Thank you for emphasizing spanking right at the top, Alex. I am the director of the spanking department here in Limbrook.
[00:01:00] Speaker A: They don't get enough love.
[00:01:01] Speaker B: So proud to be part of this local government and being a dedicated public servant. And just to be clear, we're using spankin and this has come up a lot. We've had a lot of parents coming to protest at the town hall. We're not talking about we're not talking about capital punishment, nor are we talking about corporal punishment. We are talking about spanking in the colloquial, spank bank, et cetera. This is Minute, one of the podcast.
[00:01:33] Speaker C: We're already seeing our listenership go down, but not quite as bad as when Chuck from the capital punishment department got mixed up and that one guy was spanked to death.
[00:01:41] Speaker A: That was a real it's not capital punishment. It's capital reward.
[00:01:46] Speaker B: Yeah. I'm also joined here spanked in the Colloquial.
[00:01:50] Speaker A: I'm also joined here by Mike G.
[00:01:54] Speaker C: Hey, everybody, that's me. I'mike G. I am the newly appointed termite tourism coordinator for the town of Limbrook. So happy to be back. So happy to be talking. Raymond, let's get into it.
[00:02:07] Speaker A: I'm here for absolutely. So, guys, what's on the agenda today? I'll tell you. I have the papers. It is season three, episode one, The Invasion, when Marie, Frank and Robert get a taste of their own medicine. When Ray, Deborah and the kids come to stay while their house is currently infested with termites. I think it's an interesting episode. I'm excited to speak about it. For those of you living outside of Limburg, I should clarify my first mayoral decree, which I made right before we began the show, which was to broadcast the episode all over town so that all of the beautiful villagers of Limbrook can experience this all at once and openly discuss it with each other and know as we go about our lovely day, I think it's a great little movement, and I'm interested to see how people will be reacting to it.
[00:03:03] Speaker B: I will say my department was not pleased about you cutting into the public access adult entertainment channel that we maintain with episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond, but the public seems to be taking it in stride. Sorry. In spank.
[00:03:21] Speaker A: Well, sometimes you got to spank the spanking department.
[00:03:25] Speaker C: I will say that Father Billy over there was not happy that the adult entertainment system was on the television right as people were leaving church this past sunday.
[00:03:37] Speaker B: Yeah, we do love Father Billy, of course, the head deacon at the Church of Spankin, the adult oriented Presbyterian congregation.
But I think he'll come know. Emphasis on around.
[00:03:56] Speaker A: I also did just get a memo from the newly established Church of Spankin, which of course was Admir's first decree in his position.
They wanted to give a gruton, tooten. Spankin shout out to Sebastian for donating to the Baronezo. And I can't believe it. Wow. Congrats, Sebastian. Here's a spank on us.
[00:04:19] Speaker C: We did just receive.
[00:04:22] Speaker A: Now we get no more money.
[00:04:23] Speaker C: Real time memo from Sebastian requesting a refund.
[00:04:27] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:04:27] Speaker C: But all sales are indeed final. Sorry, Sebastian.
[00:04:32] Speaker B: I think it's great and it's hilarious, Alex, that you set up the public memo fax machine to where the memos immediately fall into the garbage can. Because Alex, if there's one thing Alex has, it's a mandate and he is running with it. Speaking of mandates, every night on Church of Spankin at 08:00 p.m. Mandate.
[00:04:57] Speaker A: Yeah, no, honestly, with the four of us here sorry, with the three of us here, I was thinking about Sebastian in spirit. Please the fuck out of here. We rarely after the last two seasons the last two seasons, we didn't really even get a second to breathe. Let's just take this first moment of this first episode of season three a new kind of start for all of us to just kind of take this nice, beautiful moment of silence.
Whose fucking phone is that?
[00:05:32] Speaker C: That's in the case. It's in the mayor's case.
[00:05:35] Speaker B: The red phone. Classic red phone. Big siren, light on top.
[00:05:38] Speaker A: I thought this was just decorative.
[00:05:40] Speaker B: Take the cake thing off of it there.
[00:05:44] Speaker C: You got to shatter the glass in case of emergency.
[00:05:46] Speaker B: Yeah, take the cake topper thing off and then shatter it.
[00:05:50] Speaker A: I know how to answer the phone.
Okay, I'm answering the phone. Hello, mayor alex, you are on with the mayor.
[00:05:59] Speaker B: Hi.
My house is, and this is embarrassing, infested with termites.
[00:06:07] Speaker A: I'm sorry, sir, that can't be possible. I just hired a new secretary of termites. Termites shouldn't be anywhere in Mike.
[00:06:17] Speaker C: Right. You specifically said termite tourism. I invited termites to, like we had the sidewalks replaced so that they were all wood so that the termites could feel welcome here.
Millions of dollars on that.
[00:06:33] Speaker B: It was a real 19 hundreds like Ellis Island promise that he made to the termites of like the streets are paved with gold. We said streets are paved with wood.
[00:06:43] Speaker A: Wood, yeah, before you said that. I really wish I pressed the mute button on this phone. You didn't happen to hear that, did you?
[00:06:52] Speaker B: Sorry, my kid is running around throwing corn dogs at my father in law.
[00:06:57] Speaker A: Oh, great.
[00:06:58] Speaker B: What did you say? Sorry. You are coming to I will send.
[00:07:04] Speaker A: My best guy who knows all about termites to deal with them. And you know what? As an apology for this inconvenience, he's going to bring along with him. An unbaguette avadu formage just for you, my friend.
We don't do French fucking punishment, you asshole. You said termites on this land.
[00:07:29] Speaker C: That feels deeply insensitive.
[00:07:31] Speaker A: When can we come?
[00:07:33] Speaker B: Well, I mean, I usually wait until, umbaguette, with two fromage is on Spankin TV to come. Sorry, ask me that again.
[00:07:45] Speaker A: We'll be right over.
[00:07:49] Speaker B: You can come over. Like, now would be great. I mean, they're halfway through the beams in the ceiling, and it is a tall building.
[00:07:58] Speaker A: You know what?
The grand Administrator of Termites or whatever the hell and myself are going to come see to this personally. We'll see you in a moment.
[00:08:11] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:08:11] Speaker A: Adam, do you mind holding down the fort while we deal with this fucker?
[00:08:14] Speaker B: Yeah, no problem. I mean, I'm going to have my guys come in here because we do need to crank out some content for local government purposes.
[00:08:23] Speaker C: For Spank TV.
[00:08:24] Speaker B: Yeah, but we'll clean up after. Don't worry.
[00:08:27] Speaker C: I would hope so. Yeah, that'd be great.
[00:08:29] Speaker B: Great.
[00:08:30] Speaker C: Yeah, we don't want the mess on my desk again. Also because that's the new home to the King and Queen of would be. That would be great.
[00:08:39] Speaker A: Kill those. The febreze is under. My.
[00:08:43] Speaker C: Febreze kills termites. Now.
[00:08:45] Speaker A: No febreze for the post. Whatever happens.
[00:08:50] Speaker C: Gotcha. Gotcha. Okay. All right.
[00:08:52] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't want to think about it. Mike, take your hairy chest and come with me.
[00:08:57] Speaker B: All right, we cut to Mike and Alex in the back of, like, a succession style black SUV and spoiler for the last scene of succession. Mike is clamily putting his hand on top of Alex's.
[00:09:12] Speaker A: You okay there, buddy?
[00:09:14] Speaker C: Yeah, I'm doing great. I just realized that my first job as termite inspector man or termite tourism guy is not what I thought it was, and it's kind of freaking me out. And I'm just now noticing that there are a lot of parts of this Uber that are indeed made of wood. Like, that was the style. And I'm a little nervous because I did tell Timmy Termite that he could reside in my chest hair.
Out know kindness.
[00:09:43] Speaker A: Timmy termite in the chest. I think I think you greatly misunderstood this assignment. I need you to kill Termites. I don't need you to give them a new home in Lindbrook. People don't like termites.
[00:09:58] Speaker C: You know what? Now that you bring that up, that makes a lot of sense.
Feel like it's a little too late now.
[00:10:08] Speaker A: For God's sakes, Mike. What, are we supposed to fumigate all of Lindbrook? We just saw an episode about what happens when you do shit like that.
[00:10:15] Speaker C: You can't I don't know, listen, in the episode, it worked out pretty good. It could work out good?
[00:10:25] Speaker A: Did did you not see the chaos that ensued? We can't see that here.
[00:10:30] Speaker C: They also got closer together in the end. Come on. The kids got to the whole town.
[00:10:35] Speaker A: Of Limbrook will have to come live with us at town hall if this continues.
Listen, I don't want to be that.
[00:10:42] Speaker C: Close to, like listen.
Well, first of all, this is actually the first time that I've really gotten Termites. Have you ever gotten termites before?
[00:10:52] Speaker A: Not that I know of. But you know how they no, no.
[00:10:55] Speaker C: They'Re very, very subtle. We see that as Mike and Alex are talking, the wood parts of this vehicle are slowly disappearing as termites devour them as the driving mean. Like, I've never seen the mean. I've seen the tent, but I don't know what actually is entailed.
I mean, I know it's unlivable, but also I like Carnivals. Maybe that'd be good for the town.
[00:11:24] Speaker A: You never know. Mike, it's getting windy. Can you close the window?
[00:11:29] Speaker B: Yeah, we see the window. The wood that's supporting the window is being devoured, and the window falls onto the road and smashes, and the little partition in between the driver and the passengers rolls down and we see that it's a termite.
[00:11:45] Speaker D: Hey, you guys talking about the episode of Everybody Loves Raymond that was on?
[00:11:50] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah, season three, episode one.
[00:11:51] Speaker A: You see this? Is this Timmy?
[00:11:55] Speaker D: Yes. Hey, Mike, good to see you. Thanks for letting me out of your chest hair.
[00:11:59] Speaker C: Hey, Timmy. No problem. Yeah, see, Timmy's a friendly guy. I like Timmy. Timmy's cool.
[00:12:05] Speaker A: Thanks, timmy, when did you get your driver's license?
[00:12:08] Speaker D: Actually, the reason I asked Mike to let me out is because I only have my permit and I need my 50 hours.
[00:12:14] Speaker A: God damn it. Hang on.
[00:12:16] Speaker C: You're doing great.
[00:12:17] Speaker D: Yeah. One of you actually should be sitting.
[00:12:19] Speaker A: In the all right, I'm up here. I'm up here. Which mikey, this should be you. Okay, you're the termite guy.
Maybe you don't have to kill them, but they can't just be free in limbrook. Especially these ones. They're getting smart. They drive cars.
[00:12:35] Speaker D: Now, can you not refer to us as they or these ones? That's kind of rude.
[00:12:41] Speaker A: Sorry.
[00:12:42] Speaker B: What are your pronouns driving you?
[00:12:44] Speaker D: My pronouns, obviously, are they, them, but I'm not.
[00:12:48] Speaker B: Singular.
[00:12:49] Speaker A: Bows his head in confusion.
[00:12:51] Speaker D: Singular.
[00:12:52] Speaker C: Listen, all we're saying is that they're not here to cause problems. They're just bugs. They're just here to hang out. And as Mike says that, one of the windows falls off and he grabs the back windshield and holds it in place like there's nothing wrong.
[00:13:07] Speaker A: And Mike, you working out there? Why are your hands up?
[00:13:10] Speaker C: No, no, it's good.
[00:13:11] Speaker A: It's all Timmy. I guess you saw the episode, too.
[00:13:15] Speaker D: Because Mandate, I was super excited because we finally got to see the Ode to Joy intro instead of the conveyor belt one and the fucking weird anti gravity one, and I fucking hated for all of season two. And now we got to see the Otejoy one, which I thought was so much better. Such inventive camera work gets like inventive.
[00:13:36] Speaker B: Oh, my voice cracked right there. Oh, my God, timmy, I think I just went through puberty. I think?
[00:13:44] Speaker C: Yeah, I was going to say shit. I mean, Termites, you got to get new pants.
[00:13:51] Speaker B: What did you say?
[00:13:52] Speaker C: Termites? Have a short life. But still.
[00:13:55] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, I'm only what is it, two days old now? So I'm really hoping I can get my 50 hours in before, like, three days from now.
But I was just saying I really love the Ode to Joy intro inventive camera work.
I like the sort of action movie Die Hard motif they were going for. It was really great. So much better than the Antigravity. What do you guys think about that?
[00:14:18] Speaker C: Mike, you want to go first? I'm going to be honest with you. As I lower my voice to making me so I don't want to sound.
[00:14:23] Speaker B: Like oh, did you just go through puberty, too?
[00:14:26] Speaker C: I just got him up for puberty. It's going around this season.
[00:14:29] Speaker B: Yeah, puberty is definitely catch. Oh, I think my voice lower as.
[00:14:33] Speaker A: My yeah, got a bad case of puberty in this.
[00:14:35] Speaker C: Anyway, I liked the Ode to Joy. I think that it's actually much more fitting as of the aura of the show as a whole. I think that it captures the essence of what makes the show fun more than the Antigravity opening, which made no sense, or the conveyor belt opening, or for that matter, the placeHead opening got pretty close. That was fun. But ode to Joy is better.
[00:14:57] Speaker A: I don't like it.
[00:14:58] Speaker B: You don't like the ojoy?
[00:15:01] Speaker A: I don't like it. I'm sorry.
[00:15:03] Speaker B: What's wrong with it?
[00:15:04] Speaker A: I'm sure if Adam was here, he would also be upset because I have always been the black sheep of opinions about Raymond openings, I guess. I mean, anyone listening? If you want to back me up here.
I like the conveyor belt and I love the Antigravity. I like the antigravity. This one just doesn't do it for me. I feel like it just kind of feels a little generic. Like it does convey the idea of the episode without words. And I appreciate that.
But it's longer and it's got the typical classical music over intense slow motion action.
And I feel like that's just been done a lot. And I also just like I don't know, it just feels a little on the nose to me. And I liked to be honest.
[00:15:54] Speaker C: I strongly disagree with that. I think that in general, it was a very innovative opening.
[00:15:58] Speaker B: Well, I will say that I was not a huge fan of the font that they used for the actors, but I do like that they started doing with Doris Roberts as Marie and with Peter Boyle as Frank. I thought that was a classy touch. That really shows deference to those arc doors.
[00:16:23] Speaker C: You're complaining about the font size, Timmy? I didn't realize that you were such a stick.
[00:16:28] Speaker A: Timmy, your balls are now on the gas pedal. We are going 80 miles an hour.
[00:16:33] Speaker B: My balls are dragging along the road at 80 miles an hour. And this car is made of wood and it is sparking. So I don't know what's going to.
[00:16:41] Speaker A: Happen past the house.
[00:16:42] Speaker B: Okay, I'm just going to.
[00:16:48] Speaker C: Cut to the termite house. All right. I'm starting to see why these termites might be a problem. I'm going to be honest with you. That did not end. We had hoped to be completely honest.
[00:16:59] Speaker A: With Mayor oh, you don't fucking say.
[00:17:02] Speaker C: Mike, listen, I didn't know they were going to eat the wheelbarrow, that's all. I mean, okay. They ate through the brank line and I hi, sir.
[00:17:11] Speaker A: I'm sorry. Alex. Hi. Nice to meet you. You are?
[00:17:15] Speaker B: I am Diane, and this is my son Floyd and my daughter Petri Dish.
[00:17:26] Speaker A: Well, hello, petri dish. That's a lovely know I had a dog named Petri Dish when I was a.
[00:17:33] Speaker B: I please don't associate my daughter with your dog. I think there's sort of a different dogs have human names, sure, but humans don't usually have dog names. And I sort of say exceptional.
[00:17:48] Speaker A: Petri Dish is a human name.
I now have a dog named Frank after Peter Boyle's character on ELR. But as a kid, I had a dog named Petri Dish because of the great Petri Dish Fredrickson who founded Limbrook.
[00:18:09] Speaker B: Well, we named her Petri Dish because she was a test tube baby.
[00:18:15] Speaker A: Different reasons, but still a beautiful know it's all good.
[00:18:19] Speaker B: Because our son is named after where he was conceived, which was in Floyd Mayweather's hotel room because my husband is Floyd Mayweather.
[00:18:29] Speaker A: How have I not met you?
[00:18:32] Speaker B: Keep I'm new to town and I've mostly kept to myself. So far. I just have a really busy work from home job. I do calendars for the Hallmark company.
[00:18:44] Speaker A: Cool. Well, welcome to limbrook. It's a very peaceful town. Nothing interesting happens here. I promise your house is going to.
[00:18:51] Speaker C: Be fine as we see her roof collapse because the termites have officially eaten away at all of the structures for the roof.
[00:18:58] Speaker A: Lucky for you, I brought my best guy. Mike, you see that?
[00:19:03] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:19:03] Speaker A: You're going to get to go fix that.
[00:19:06] Speaker C: I don't know how.
[00:19:09] Speaker B: Oh, my not I'm going to be honest. I'm new to town, but this is not great. And if this is how things are going to be, I might just have to call Floyd and say we're moving back to Han.
[00:19:23] Speaker A: Han. Before that, diane, why don't we go inside? You could show us around, show us all the light switches.
[00:19:31] Speaker B: There's not much to show you besides the light switches, of course, which are made out of plastic because most of my house was made out of wood. And that is now all gone, as you can see.
[00:19:45] Speaker C: Well, listen, Diane, you definitely did the right thing. After you realized you had termites, you called the mayor's office. That was absolutely the correct move. And so I'm glad you're here. Glad we're here with you.
[00:19:57] Speaker B: Well, I did notice when I got here that the phone book is real short. It's just the mayor's number. So I feel like the mayor is going to end up handling a lot of stuff around this town that maybe would seem out of the purview of a normal mayor.
[00:20:10] Speaker C: You see, that wasn't the phone book. You can see right there, it says, welcome to Limbrook. Signed, Mayor Alex. But I appreciate that all the same. I'm glad you called us.
Just the same know this might take a while. Do you have any family or friends you might be able to stay with while we fix up your house and get rid of the termites?
[00:20:32] Speaker B: Well, I guess I could stay with my mother in law.
[00:20:38] Speaker A: Oh, God, no. No one should be forced to do that.
[00:20:42] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm going to have to go over to Mrs. Mayweather's house. And she had a guest room, but since we moved out, she's turned it into a I'm sorry. Since Floyd moved out, she's turned it into a crafting room where she makes boxing rings.
So I guess I'll just have to sleep. You really think you can't put me up in a hotel or something with government money?
[00:21:09] Speaker A: I'm sorry. Dan, let me speak to my associate here for a second. Mike, come over here.
[00:21:13] Speaker C: Yeah, I'm put her on with you. I kind of agree.
[00:21:17] Speaker A: I don't want her to stay with us at the City Hall. I know we have, like, she was.
[00:21:21] Speaker C: Never staying with us at the City Hall.
[00:21:23] Speaker A: I know we have, like, those 20 deluxe guest rooms, but I keep my figurines in.
[00:21:28] Speaker B: We cut back to City Hall.
So this is the presidential suite. As you can see, 16 foot ceilings. This used to be the Department of Public Health, but we fired all of the people that were doing the vaccines. Obviously, that was a big push that Alex did. So now this is just a big bedroom.
[00:21:51] Speaker C: Yeah, I noticed that. It's great that you named it the President, because I noticed there's Chester A. Arthur's photograph hanging over the bed.
[00:21:59] Speaker B: All and that's what's great about the Town hall is that it's all themed after Gilded Age presidents. So this is the presidential suite. We've got another one right next door, which is also the presidential suite. But that one's, I mean, I think this is obviously our nicest room, Mr. Tyson, so I think you're going to be incredibly comfortable here. And we did honor your request to have a king boxing ring put in.
[00:22:27] Speaker C: Thank you. I appreciate that. I do have a question, though.
[00:22:30] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:22:31] Speaker C: When do I get to the spanking?
[00:22:33] Speaker B: Well, how about a clue?
[00:22:36] Speaker C: We cut back to Mrs. Mayweather's house.
[00:22:39] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:22:39] Speaker A: So anyway, Mike, obviously we have the Tysons coming in. We can't afford to keep this woman anywhere near, you know, you like, she could accidentally smuggle a termite into the Town hall. We don't need those things in there.
[00:22:56] Speaker C: I again, object to the term smuggling to refer to these honored guests. But I do appreciate the sentiment there. I think that that would be indeed bad. We wouldn't want to see Mike Tyson and Floyd Mayweatherweather go up against each other. That would be a terrible, terrible image.
[00:23:10] Speaker A: For the town of okay, so here's the plan.
We get all the boxing rings from her mother in law's house so that she can have a guest room and stay there. I think that's what we go I think that's what we yeah. Great. You do that.
[00:23:26] Speaker B: Weka to the other Mrs. Mayweather's house. I'm sorry, you want to what? You know who are you?
[00:23:32] Speaker C: Hi, I'm the termite tourism coordinator for the town of Limbrook.
[00:23:38] Speaker B: Oh, of course. Hi, Mike.
What is it? Mike Jamaica.
Sorry, what?
[00:23:45] Speaker C: Jamaica. Mike Jamaica is my name.
[00:23:47] Speaker B: With a G.
Mike jamaica.
[00:23:51] Speaker C: Mike Jamaica. I'mike g, but I go by Mike Jamaica. Yeah, but my name is Mike Jamaica.
[00:23:56] Speaker B: You are Mike G, but you go by Mike Jamaica, so you want to be referred to by as Mike Jamaica?
[00:24:02] Speaker C: I would like to be referred to as Mike actually, I don't really know why the last name has to come in here, but you have my name now for my business cards and things of that nature.
[00:24:11] Speaker B: Han, who's at the, uh what are you, the termite boss? What are you?
[00:24:18] Speaker C: Termite tourism coordinator.
[00:24:21] Speaker B: Oh, it's the termite tourism coordinator.
[00:24:23] Speaker A: Floyd Beeping. Give me my corn dog.
[00:24:27] Speaker B: Yeah, sorry, I just put in 52 corn dogs, so come on in. Come on in.
[00:24:33] Speaker C: Do you want one? Yeah, I would love one of the corn dogs, actually.
[00:24:37] Speaker B: Here's one, and then you can put the other one in your pocket for later. Here are your 50 corn dogs, dear.
[00:24:44] Speaker A: Excellent. 1234.
[00:24:51] Speaker B: So this is my husband, Floyd Senior, and he's entertaining, obviously. You might recognize the owl from the Tootsie Roll commercial.
[00:24:58] Speaker A: 1112.
[00:25:00] Speaker C: I do, actually.
[00:25:01] Speaker B: Sorry.
[00:25:01] Speaker C: I was going to say a Tootsie Pop commercial. No, I was going to say he is very good accounting.
Okay. So I have a favor to ask you. You know your daughter in law and your grandkids?
[00:25:16] Speaker B: Yes. They live across the street.
[00:25:18] Speaker C: Yeah.
So here's the thing. They have termites, and we kind of wanted to know if we could take the boxing rings out of your basement so they have a place to stay while we clean that up.
[00:25:33] Speaker B: I don't know.
I am working very hard in preparation for the big mean. I don't know if you're aware, but Mike Tyson's in town. Obviously. My family just moved here.
[00:25:48] Speaker A: Shit, I forgot to say 40.
[00:25:51] Speaker B: Always got to start over. And of course, you'll see, he has to tap each one on his chin.
[00:25:58] Speaker C: I noticed that.
[00:26:00] Speaker B: He's an OD bird, but there's a.
[00:26:03] Speaker C: Lot of cornmeal on his chin after counting the first four.
[00:26:07] Speaker B: Yeah, he likes them soft, so I only cook them a little bit.
[00:26:10] Speaker A: 15.
[00:26:12] Speaker B: I was just saying, I've been commissioned to do these for the big fight that's in town. I don't know if you know that mike Tyson's in town. Obviously, my family just moved here and other boxers have moved here as well, such as Rocky.
And we're going to put all these boxing rings together in the center of town and have a big twelve way fight. So I kind of have to continue working on them. I'm sure you understand.
[00:26:43] Speaker C: I do accept.
[00:26:44] Speaker B: It's the biggest order my etsy shop has ever gotten.
[00:26:49] Speaker C: Okay, what if we gave you a bigger etsy order? Would that cancel it out?
[00:26:56] Speaker B: You're going to buy more boxing rings from me than I'm done counting. Good job.
See, he doesn't eat them. He just likes to count them. I was going to say and burn his chin with them.
[00:27:10] Speaker C: Well, I would love to. Actually. This brings me to my next great question. Would you be willing to sell me 400,000 corn ducks?
[00:27:21] Speaker B: Sure. Yeah. I mean, I have that many in the freezer.
[00:27:25] Speaker C: Would that be enough for you to get rid of the boxing rings?
[00:27:32] Speaker B: So you want me to cancel the order for the boxing rings, of which I've already done three of, but I can scrap them because you're going to pay me so much for my corn dogs.
[00:27:45] Speaker A: Cut to Alex.
Maybe Mike was the wrong person to send on this mission. All right, we cut back.
[00:27:54] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:27:56] Speaker B: Okay, let me consult with my husband. Dear, sorry, I know you're going to bed, but I just wanted to ask you real quick. This man has asked if he can buy 400,000 corn dogs from us if I stop making the boxing rings. Is that okay with you? Or I know you're really pushing for the big fight to happen, but.
[00:28:22] Speaker A: Um, can I still do we have more corn dogs for me?
[00:28:28] Speaker B: Yes, dear. We still have all the we bought out the factory, so we have plenty of corn dogs. We cut back to the corn dog factory. We sold all of them. This is great, guys.
[00:28:39] Speaker A: We're in a hell of corn dogs.
[00:28:40] Speaker B: Sold all of our corn dogs. What am I going to grandpathy, there's.
[00:28:44] Speaker C: No corn dogs here.
[00:28:45] Speaker B: Grandpathy, we are out of corn dogs. Sold all the corn dogs and now you can finally retire.
[00:28:51] Speaker A: Excellent. I'm going to go buy me a corn dog factory.
[00:28:55] Speaker B: Wow, what a guy.
[00:28:57] Speaker C: I'm unemployed.
[00:28:58] Speaker A: Shut up, Junior.
[00:28:59] Speaker B: We cut to Diane's house. Alex and Mike are coming back over petri Dish. Can you just put my French tapes away? I just too embarrassed to do them right now. Too distracted.
[00:29:14] Speaker A: Mike, what the hell did you do?
[00:29:17] Speaker C: So you like corn dogs, right?
[00:29:21] Speaker B: Who are you asking? Are you talking to me? Sorry, let me come back over. I was doing well, actually.
[00:29:26] Speaker C: This is a good question for you. Do you like corn dogs? Dan. Does petri dish like corn dogs?
[00:29:30] Speaker B: Yes, I believe we were eating corn dogs when you came in.
[00:29:34] Speaker C: Oh, great.
[00:29:35] Speaker A: Before dinner. Perfect time.
[00:29:36] Speaker C: Wait. How would you like to have a lot more corn?
[00:29:41] Speaker B: I guess I can always use more. The kids love them. Floyd loves them. How many are you talking here?
[00:29:49] Speaker C: 400,000.
[00:29:51] Speaker A: Oh, my God.
[00:29:53] Speaker C: You don't need to eat all of them. We could have a few.
[00:29:59] Speaker B: Is this a gift?
Yes. Well, all right. I mean, we do have pretty big freezer, so if you want to go downstairs and throw them, I guess sure. I'll take them off your.
[00:30:16] Speaker C: Freezer.
[00:30:18] Speaker B: Yeah, it goes all the way down and goes into, like, a Mr. Freeze kind of cave thing down there. It was here when we bought the house.
[00:30:27] Speaker A: You're giving me real fucking Deborah vibes in this.
[00:30:30] Speaker C: Deborah? What are you talking about with the Deborah vibes?
[00:30:34] Speaker A: You're doing some sort of insane solution to the problem and just I feel.
[00:30:41] Speaker B: Like are you guys talking about the episode of Everybody Loves Raymond that was on today?
[00:30:45] Speaker C: Season three, episode one, yeah.
[00:30:47] Speaker A: Oh, yes.
[00:30:47] Speaker C: Good.
[00:30:48] Speaker A: You followed your dictations.
[00:30:49] Speaker B: Well, it's hard to avoid. I thought that Deborah, when she was so jazzed about being passive aggressive towards the Baroness, I thought that was a little bit of an overreaction on her part. I thought, like, yes, the Baroness habitually annoy you, but just because Marie felt uncomfortable doing her French lesson in front of you means that you're going to unscrew their fridge.
I wasn't totally on board with Deborah in this one, and I'm team Deborah, and I was before I moved here.
[00:31:26] Speaker A: And now that I'm I saw your T shirt.
[00:31:28] Speaker B: T shirt. Yard sign. Yep. Or it was yard sign until the termites got.
[00:31:38] Speaker A: It'S just I think, Mike, you could learn something from this know, this is only going to end in disaster.
[00:31:44] Speaker C: I think Deborah was justified, to be perfectly honest with you. She did a lot of creative solutions. It's not her fault that they didn't work. That's all I'm saying.
I will say, though, I will say that I did enjoy the most passive aggressive scene of Everybody Loves frame that I've seen in a while, which was the French lesson scene when they sat.
[00:32:05] Speaker B: On the couch, and I thought that was legitimately hilarious.
Marie turning off the lamps as she's trying to freeze Deborah out of the room. And just the she repeats the first French prompt, and then she looks over at Deborah. I don't know if she's looking at her for approval or just for attention. I don't know, but it was just very funny, her whole physicality in that scene.
[00:32:35] Speaker C: I agree. I absolutely agree. I think it was brilliantly, acted brilliantly, everything. But yeah, I mean, like, ultimately, Deborah's just sitting there. I get it. We all want our alone time, but at the same time, Deborah was not bothering nobody. I gotta give credit here. She deserves a comeback. She deserves to get back at Marie.
[00:32:54] Speaker A: That's all mean, like, at all the times. Marie barged in on Deborah's personal space. Like, Deborah does it once, and it's a big fucking problem for it's. It's almost like kind of like it feels good to see the shoe on the other foot for once. And, Mike, I think the big question, we're all knowing, and Diane, you weren't here for all of this, but Mike has a history with French people. How'd you feel about that?
[00:33:25] Speaker C: It was a little bit scarring, to be perfectly honest with you. Again, you don't need to worry. There was a whole voltron. There was a guillotine. It was a long story.
You should listen to our podcast everybody Loves Everybody Loves Raymond and go subscribe to the Baroness.
[00:33:42] Speaker B: Is that what came over the air raid siren earlier? Because that was what, 02:00 A.m. We.
[00:33:48] Speaker A: Were trying to my second decree was to hire the Blue Angels to fly over and shout that and drop speakers.
[00:33:56] Speaker C: Playing Everybody Loves Everybody.
[00:33:58] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. I did hear a fighter jet fly overhead, and it sounded like a guy was leaning out of the window and shouting about something. He was shouting about your podcast.
[00:34:10] Speaker A: Just an ordinary day in limbrook New York, my friend.
Have we solved your problems?
[00:34:15] Speaker B: No.
[00:34:17] Speaker C: What do you mean?
[00:34:18] Speaker B: My house is still gone. Are you going to provide me with alternative lodging?
[00:34:24] Speaker A: Maybe we should just call it.
[00:34:26] Speaker C: Mom's gotten rid of all the boxing rinks. Your mother in law's Gotten Rid of all the boxing rinks. You can go. Stay there and learn the lessons. Yeah, just don't be passive aggressive, and I'm sure she'll be happy to have you.
[00:34:37] Speaker B: Well, we'll see. I might take a page out of Deborah's book this time.
Kids, pack up your things and make sure to bring plenty of bleach. Thanks, guys. I really appreciate it.
[00:34:51] Speaker A: No problem. Mike, put your hand down. We don't take tips.
[00:34:54] Speaker B: I really appreciate you guys asking my mother in law to move the boxing rings out of her guest room so that my destroyed house can be repaired.
[00:35:04] Speaker A: Ma'am, we get really fucking personal with our citizens here, I promise you that.
[00:35:09] Speaker B: I would prefer you don't swear in front of my children.
[00:35:12] Speaker A: I'm sorry. Petri dish. We'll call a carpenter to get your roof all figured out.
[00:35:19] Speaker C: What's your other kid's name? We were so fascinated with Petri dish, I forgot. The other kid.
[00:35:23] Speaker B: Floyd. He's floyd. II.
[00:35:26] Speaker C: He's Floyd the third. He's the third.
[00:35:28] Speaker B: Yeah, that's right. My father in law is Floyd Senior, obviously. My husband is Floyd Mayweather, and my son is Floyd II Mayweather Johnson hyphen.
[00:35:40] Speaker A: Is your next son going to be Floyd forever after.
[00:35:44] Speaker B: I am not planning on doing a George Foreman thing. Who's in town, by the way, with my kids, where multiple of the same generation have the same name. But I will encourage just to keep the tradition alive because it is a beautiful tradition. I will encourage Floyd II to name his kid Floyd forever after.
[00:36:03] Speaker A: And we can look forward to that in 30 years. Well, burn.
[00:36:07] Speaker B: Floyd's already an adult. What are you talking this is oh, sorry. Are you trying to say my son is not a sexy man who's going.
[00:36:15] Speaker A: To no, see, Diane, what I'm trying to say is what I've tried Alex, is like looking up and down at Floyd, trying to find him attractive.
[00:36:23] Speaker B: He opened up the partition between the kitchen and the living room and is seductively posing with his yeah, floyd, have.
[00:36:33] Speaker C: You ever thought about spanking?
[00:36:35] Speaker A: Cut back to the town hall.
[00:36:38] Speaker B: Yeah, no, sir, we can definitely give you the package that has Church of Spank and TV on it.
We will have to lay some pipe, obviously, at your residence.
Okay. Yes. And that will be 69. 69. No, that's not none of this is a joke. This is very real. This is a public access pornography network. Yes, okay, you too. All right, bye bye now. Oh, hey, guys. How was the termite call?
[00:37:15] Speaker C: It was great. It was great. We got the person to move in with her mother in law's house, much like that episode of Know. It was pretty good. How are things?
[00:37:25] Speaker B: You know, good. We've been taking calls, churning out high quality sorry, low quality pornography.
[00:37:33] Speaker A: Remember, Adam, at the end of the day, I'm bringing in the blacklight, and if I see anything, you will be removed from office.
[00:37:41] Speaker B: I think you will not be able to discern any stains on account of the completeness of the coverage.
You see what? I know what?
[00:37:54] Speaker A: That's fine.
[00:37:55] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:37:55] Speaker A: No, I get it.
[00:37:56] Speaker C: Everything is going to be glowing. Is that what you're trying to tell?
[00:37:59] Speaker B: Yeah. White floor.
[00:38:01] Speaker A: You're just not going to be able to tell white floor, white wall, the same color.
Well, that's great.
[00:38:06] Speaker B: We did finish the guest suites. We put in all the presidentials and the one that's a recreation of Ray Romano's bedroom.
Speaking of, I really enjoyed in this episode we finally got to see.
[00:38:23] Speaker A: Dude.
[00:38:23] Speaker C: I totally forgot about that. We got to see his physical bedroom. Yeah, that's right.
[00:38:27] Speaker A: Let's talk in the bedroom.
[00:38:29] Speaker B: Yeah, let's go. Let's go.
[00:38:31] Speaker C: Oh, wow.
[00:38:32] Speaker B: As we're walking down the hallway, obviously, you can see we've put up all of our portraits. We did get these are not the originals, but they are faithful stick figure recreations of the presidential portraits for Chester A. Arthur Rutherford B. Hayes, obviously, William Henry Harrison, who may not be Gilded Age, but might be I don't know. We got that one.
[00:38:59] Speaker A: I also took our new podcast Art, and framed it in there for us on the ceiling.
[00:39:06] Speaker C: As the bromboys turn to look at the ceiling for the mural, you notice that termites disappear. The Harrison stick figure, they just devour him. There's no trace of it left.
[00:39:17] Speaker B: It's like that Banksy painting that shredded.
[00:39:22] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. Except it's completely all the way for.
[00:39:28] Speaker A: The for the Ray Barone duplicate room. Did you also sweet sorry, did you also get that poster, that celebrity that Ray had alone time to I forget the name of her.
[00:39:39] Speaker B: Are you talking about the poster? Yes, yes. So as you see, I wanted to see it. It's a faithful recreation of at least three quarters of the room. Obviously we have no idea, there's no documentary evidence of what the fourth wall of that room looks like. So all we've done based on the evidence in the episode is that entire wall is a picture of Farrah Fawcett.
And don't worry, it's been waterproofed and everything good.
[00:40:09] Speaker A: You thought ahead.
[00:40:10] Speaker B: Hopefully that's faithful. That's our best guess at what that's going to look like or what that would have looked like in real life. But yeah, the Ray Romano suite faithfully recreated. And of course every 45 minutes an actor is going to come in and play Ray.
[00:40:28] Speaker A: At the end of the day, one of the actors goes in, looks at the Farrah Fawcett poster and then slowly closes the door and locks.
[00:40:35] Speaker B: And then and then obviously we go to the live feed on Church of Spankin TV for the Ray Romano 4 hours, which it was difficult to find that actor. I mean, we held American Idol style auditions all over the country and handed out the golden tissue to people who were going to limbrook. We did get Simon. We got Simon. And some people were really into it when he told know he did his thing.
It's a specific kink, but a successful one.
[00:41:12] Speaker C: I will say also that I did enjoy this recreation. But one of the things as I'm looking at this room right now, I'm realizing how on earth did they have room for both Ray, Deborah and all three children in this room? We know for a fact at least the twins are also here. I imagine they didn't just give Ali her own room. That doesn't make a lot of sense to me.
[00:41:34] Speaker A: How the hell they manage this? Well, I mean, what other rooms would there be? I mean, there's Robert's room and then ideally Frank and Marie have a room and then the basement.
[00:41:43] Speaker B: The basement has a little like pot in it, right?
[00:41:46] Speaker C: Yeah, but we're not going to put.
[00:41:50] Speaker B: The five year old five year old in the really deep basement. That.
[00:41:56] Speaker A: If you think about it, right, there must be like, I don't know, like a blow up bed or something that the kids just sleep like they're there for a few days. They don't need anything crazy.
[00:42:06] Speaker B: Yeah, maybe they would imagine put her on the couch.
[00:42:09] Speaker C: They're young enough. The parents would sleep on the couch. The parents would sleep on the blow up bed. You don't put your five year old on a blow up bed if there's a bed available to you.
[00:42:17] Speaker B: You're right. I bet what they did was Allie got the bed that was in Ray's room. The twins, they had some sort of set up and then Ray and Deborah on the air mattress.
That would be my guess.
[00:42:34] Speaker A: We know Ray used the excuse of the kid sleeping in the bed with Deborah and I bought that because it's very believable.
Also, that scene just reminded me of a very special and awkward night between the two of us.
[00:42:51] Speaker B: Mike, I would like to hear about that. Hold on, let me lock the door.
[00:42:55] Speaker A: Sorry, that's locked behind the Baronus sonus.
[00:42:58] Speaker B: Are you sure you don't want to share?
[00:43:00] Speaker A: No, I mean Mike, do you want to share it?
[00:43:02] Speaker C: Share what? Share it? No. Our intimate moments. Absolutely not.
[00:43:08] Speaker B: Is this more of the US. Speculating how the Ray and Deborah's family were sleeping in Ray's room? Or is this Ray coming to Robert's room?
[00:43:20] Speaker A: This is Ray and Robert. Can we at least tell them which of us were naked?
It was both of us, right?
[00:43:29] Speaker B: Was there nut punch?
[00:43:32] Speaker C: Of a sort.
[00:43:33] Speaker A: But there was a butt swipe.
[00:43:36] Speaker C: It's a spanking.
[00:43:37] Speaker B: Sorry, what were you going to say, Mike?
[00:43:41] Speaker C: Robert did not strike me as the kind of guy that would sleep in the buff, to be perfectly honest with.
[00:43:47] Speaker B: Very yeah, it seems unclean.
[00:43:49] Speaker C: It seems that's why which is to be clear hey, sleep however you're comfortable. But I would imagine Robert as the kind of guy to have a full on Pajama with like an Ebenezer Scrooge kind of like floppy hat that he wears to know when he pick news. It blows.
[00:44:07] Speaker A: Know, I did picture him as a nightgown type of guy, but being in the buff doesn't surprise me because you say it's like unsanitary, but it's his own bed. He keeps it clean.
[00:44:18] Speaker B: Well, it's not like it's unsanitary. It's like Robert is. So I I assume Robert, he keeps that ass clean. So it's not like super can. And also, I would wonder, does Robert and I guess this comes down to sheets and bedding and stuff, but knowing how particular Robert is, is there a texture component? Like maybe he prefers the texture of the sheet to the texture of any pajamas that he might have had?
[00:44:51] Speaker C: Very possible. Very possible. I think that it's like but then again, even then when you roll the wrong way, then the sheets are on a different angle. I feel like that would mess him up, too. I don't know. Listen, obviously it didn't bother Robert, and I don't know if in Brad Garrett's contract he had to be nude in at least one scene, but we hit that contract minimum.
[00:45:11] Speaker A: He was nude.
[00:45:12] Speaker C: It in the words of Ray.
[00:45:17] Speaker B: You are a little too free with the yeah.
[00:45:20] Speaker C: With the body. Yeah. And I mean, hey, listen, sex sells and Brad Garrett sells more sold at the same time. Also, this is skipping scenes and I know that we're just walking the halls right now, trying to get to the presidential bedroom.
[00:45:36] Speaker A: No, what's on your mind?
[00:45:38] Speaker B: Yeah, we are going room to room.
We just left Raymond's, and now we're heading down to the Andrew Johnson room, which is not popular. And in fact, there are proceedings within town hall to impeach this room. But for know we'll go check it out, right?
[00:45:57] Speaker A: That's not up to us. Believe it or not, I'm the mayor.
[00:46:00] Speaker B: But that's yeah, you need a two thirds vote of the custodians to pass an.
[00:46:09] Speaker A: They'Re mostly Deborah's, not Raymond's, so they don't really vibe with me.
[00:46:14] Speaker B: Sorry, Mike, what were you saying?
[00:46:15] Speaker C: I was saying that listen, brotherly rivalry being what it is, and that's great and I love it, but you ever guys ever flashed a nip in victory after winning an argument with your sibling?
[00:46:30] Speaker B: I did think it was a little there were weird vibes where his wife, too.
Ray said something in the room that was iffy to me. And I'm not saying that they can't joke about this stuff, but I was getting, like, kind of incestuous vibes from Ray and Robert.
[00:46:57] Speaker C: Hitting on Robert?
[00:46:58] Speaker B: Is that what you're I don't know.
[00:47:01] Speaker A: Guys, paul's coming. I can't let him see me. I'm hiding. I'm hiding.
You see Alex run into one of the nearby rooms and then an eager.
[00:47:10] Speaker B: Looking Alex just ran into the Martin Van Buren suite to Mike and Adam.
[00:47:15] Speaker A: I heard we were talking about incest.
[00:47:17] Speaker B: Oh, my.
[00:47:20] Speaker C: Many times. How many times has HR talked to you?
[00:47:23] Speaker A: Seven.
[00:47:24] Speaker B: I know we can't fire you because you're a government employee and you're unioned out the ass and everyone's due process. Sure, the investigations are ongoing, but Paul, we really just it would be best for everyone if we did not spend any more time like, I hit pause.
[00:47:42] Speaker A: When Robert's nipple was on screen.
[00:47:45] Speaker B: I mean, I did, too, to be fair.
[00:47:48] Speaker A: This guy understands.
[00:47:50] Speaker C: And Adam does have the master remote. So it was paused for the entirety of Lindbrook for a solid two and.
[00:47:56] Speaker B: A half all and then know gift it.
So we all got to watch Robert do that little move. Maybe. I think I had hid the remote for 45 minutes and this is not possible to convey over any sort of audio medium, but, like, it was found in my room.
[00:48:19] Speaker A: By the way, Alex got really mad at me and I was trying to find him to apologize. Have you guys seen him?
[00:48:25] Speaker C: Alex?
[00:48:26] Speaker B: I think Alex is busy doing mayor things. Paul.
[00:48:31] Speaker A: Mayor things. Okay.
[00:48:33] Speaker C: I think it's your opinion, though, on listen, who cares? We just got to know he's got the area of expertise. What is your opinion on the incestuous nature of the relationship between Robert and Raven?
[00:48:48] Speaker B: Yeah, Paul is the head of the Department of Incest.
[00:48:52] Speaker C: Yeah, we still have it.
[00:48:55] Speaker B: To be clear, that's a holdover from Oscar.
[00:49:00] Speaker A: They tried to replace it with the Office of Incense, but Tudor a typo. We're still here.
[00:49:05] Speaker B: And then we tried to force Mike in there as the Office of Insects, but that also didn't work. We just can't get rid of Paul Taurus terminator.
[00:49:14] Speaker A: You guys are stuck with me like a bad STD. I liked this episode.
[00:49:21] Speaker B: Specific parts of it, maybe.
[00:49:23] Speaker A: Yes, very much so. I liked the kind of subtle, incestuous vibes Robert gave off in this one.
[00:49:32] Speaker B: Do you want to talk about any other part of the episode?
[00:49:36] Speaker A: When Robert came in in that towel, I felt weird things.
[00:49:39] Speaker B: All right, well, that's fine. That's objectively not necessarily incestuous.
[00:49:46] Speaker A: Anyway, I think I should leave for now. I'm going to go find out.
[00:49:49] Speaker B: Yeah, go back to your quarantine area, Paul, where you are legally supposed I don't know why the guards let you out of there, but Gary, they were shit.
[00:50:02] Speaker A: I got to go by I will also say I'm firing that guy.
[00:50:07] Speaker B: Oh, hey, thank you.
[00:50:09] Speaker C: I will also say say what you will about Paul, he is a creep. The same time, he knew when to excuse himself. He can read a room.
[00:50:16] Speaker B: That's true. He realized we weren't that into what he was were.
[00:50:21] Speaker A: I don't think we're ever going to see Paul again.
[00:50:23] Speaker B: I hope not. We're trying to fire the guy.
[00:50:26] Speaker A: Yeah, no, definitely.
[00:50:27] Speaker B: I will say, though, I did enjoy the gag of the bath mat.
[00:50:31] Speaker C: Yeah, me too.
[00:50:32] Speaker B: Robert wearing especially because we already I love the continuity of first of all, the fact that one of the themes of one of Marie's bathrooms is yellow is very funny to thought I thought.
[00:50:45] Speaker A: For sure Deborah was going to pull, like a Marie and be like, Yellow's not a theme, dear.
[00:50:50] Speaker B: Yeah, but she went obviously the other way of it with bleaching the towels.
[00:50:55] Speaker C: Incredibly rude.
[00:50:56] Speaker A: Right?
[00:50:56] Speaker B: Very rude. Especially like we don't know how much Marie paid for those. Like, that could be costly.
[00:51:02] Speaker C: Listen.
[00:51:03] Speaker A: Yeah, they started to take it really far.
[00:51:06] Speaker C: They in my opinion, they took it far as soon as the lasagna got ruined. Right. Like, AHA, feeding the kids corn dogs being that's one thing. But as soon as you ruined the bath towels, marie's in the right. And I hate saying, like, she's the victim.
[00:51:21] Speaker B: This is why it felt like it was this is the first time I'm saying this, but I feel like Deborah went a little too far with the passive aggressive at this point.
[00:51:31] Speaker A: Say that to us today.
[00:51:32] Speaker B: Unscrewing the fridge and the towels is like, that's not just passive aggressive. That's full on sabotage.
Which Marie and Frank to be fair, I guess Frank does this, but not intentionally, like, fixing things until they're broken. But Marie's not over there. Know, taking Deborah's dinners out of the like, it felt like a little she.
[00:52:00] Speaker A: Is there replacing Deborah's dinner with other dinners.
[00:52:04] Speaker B: Supplanting Deborah's dinner.
[00:52:06] Speaker A: And Deborah kind of did that here. Just lazily.
[00:52:08] Speaker B: Yeah.
I did think, oh, Marie handing Robert the hand towel was very funny, though.
[00:52:17] Speaker A: That was beautiful.
Little great bit of physical comedy. And in honor of that episode, I replaced all of the town hall shower towels with just little hand towels.
[00:52:29] Speaker B: I think that's going to be very popular with the guests who do sign the consent agreement for Spankin TV.
[00:52:39] Speaker A: No, it will be.
[00:52:40] Speaker C: You're absolutely right about that.
[00:52:41] Speaker A: That's not a false statement. It's just like Town Hall. I tried not to bring my own personal politics into it, but now I'm realizing this is already the sexiest town hall has ever been.
[00:52:52] Speaker B: Yeah, it is very much in keeping with yourself that we've discovered over the past year or so.
Very sexy. And obviously all of the oil paintings, or sorry, the stick figure drawings are nudes of the Gilded Age presidents.
[00:53:12] Speaker A: You just can't tell.
[00:53:13] Speaker B: You can't tell. Except for the stick sticks, so to speak.
[00:53:22] Speaker C: We see another president go up in termites.
[00:53:25] Speaker A: The third leg, if you will.
[00:53:27] Speaker B: Yeah. Martin Van Buren's. Third leg.
[00:53:31] Speaker C: I was just going to say that I think Mike Tyson is here. Right. I feel like Mike Tyson should not be left alone for as long as we're leaving Mike Tyson alone. That man's a destructive force.
[00:53:44] Speaker A: Did you see him, Adam?
[00:53:46] Speaker B: I did check in.
[00:53:47] Speaker A: Did he check in?
[00:53:48] Speaker B: Well, I'm not at liberty to disclose the guests of the Town Hall, but I will say I did check in. Mike Tyson and Evander Holyfield. And George Foreman is here. I mean, we're fairly booked up with boxers. Rocky. Rocky. Two is here. The Clones. Three, four or five balboa.
[00:54:10] Speaker C: Is this another we got all those.
[00:54:12] Speaker A: Boxing rings event, or is there are.
[00:54:15] Speaker C: They just straight up boxing?
[00:54:16] Speaker B: This is a co production of Spankin TV and UFC. So we've got all these famous boxers who are going to be doing mixed martial arts. This is all technically sponsored content for Big Way. So whey not Big Way, which is yeah, no, we follow well, there's three powder.
[00:54:40] Speaker A: Big Way is like a Milky Way, but with nuts.
[00:54:44] Speaker B: Yeah. And then there's Big Way, the scale company.
They make big scales and then there's no way. So we did make There's No Way, which is the absence of scale protein.
Yeah. Mike Tyson is here and all the boxers are here.
[00:55:05] Speaker C: It feels to me like, I don't know about you, but I want to see this.
This I'm very excited for this tournament. Is it being held in the presidential bedrooms?
[00:55:17] Speaker B: Yeah. So, as you know, all of the presidential suites here, are they're connected by Jack and Jill bathrooms? Like the Brady Bunch house?
[00:55:26] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:55:27] Speaker B: So it's going to be kind of like a Scooby Doo thing, where they're going to be running from room to room, punching each other, like sort of clotheslining each other.
And we're just going to station a cameraman at each end of the hallway and just watch that go. And we couldn't get the rights to Yakity sacks, we could get the rights to Mumbling sacks. So it's going to be sort of a downbeat but still zany event.
[00:55:58] Speaker A: Oh, did you get me the papers to sign for this event, by the way?
[00:56:02] Speaker B: I did, yeah. They're in a folder on your desk. That's what that's called, a folder.
[00:56:08] Speaker A: Let's head back there. I want to sign those before I forget.
[00:56:10] Speaker B: Okay.
Have you made any progress on the termite issue or was it mostly this corndog transaction?
[00:56:19] Speaker C: I got a car full of them.
[00:56:22] Speaker A: To crash, but what? Well, that was like a couple of them. There were termites in the house. What did you do about those?
[00:56:30] Speaker C: I got some corn dogs to evacuate the family termites.
[00:56:36] Speaker B: We cut corn dogs.
[00:56:38] Speaker C: Right.
[00:56:38] Speaker B: Diane Mayweather's house.
[00:56:40] Speaker D: Okay. So, guys, we got this huge contract from the city. We are officially the contractors for this house, and I think we're going to want to start up. We ate all the materials. We can't build the house. Oh, no. Let's eat that one. Let's eat that house. Yeah, let's go.
What?
[00:57:01] Speaker C: Are we going to still get the money? Because I think we really should invest it in a 401K. Termites don't live forever. And if we want to enjoy the last seven days of our lives, we really should start investing now in our future.
[00:57:12] Speaker D: Yeah, I think you're let's kill David.
You want to kill David? I don't like 401.
What do you want, a 403 B or something? What do you want? Roth IRA? We can kill David.
[00:57:28] Speaker C: We want to eat wood long into our lives. I don't know if now is a good idea to just throw it all away.
[00:57:36] Speaker D: I don't know.
[00:57:37] Speaker A: I'm kind of david gets stabbed kind.
[00:57:39] Speaker D: Of interested in this. Sort of like Cain and Abel kind of development in turmoil. We can't each other.
This is what they want. Don't you see?
[00:57:51] Speaker B: Tina picks up a big rock smashes, David with it.
[00:57:55] Speaker D: I feel so powerful.
[00:57:58] Speaker A: Zoom out to see Diana. Just like Diane just looking at this.
[00:58:02] Speaker B: Diane is staring down at this sort of like, emotionlessly. She lifts her foot and completely ends this mid genesis termite society.
[00:58:14] Speaker C: One termite stands. I'm going to bet all that money on the fights. Let's go. And he runs away.
[00:58:21] Speaker B: All right, come back to here. Oh, this is interesting.
We just got a fax. Come over the thing. It looks like we've sold out the fight. This is great.
We sold out in person attendance and pay per view. This is really good news.
[00:58:40] Speaker A: I've got it, guys.
[00:58:41] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:58:42] Speaker A: Holy crap.
[00:58:43] Speaker B: All right, so I'm making a lot.
[00:58:44] Speaker A: Of money for the town.
[00:58:45] Speaker B: Yeah, definitely.
[00:58:45] Speaker C: No kidding.
[00:58:46] Speaker B: I'm really excited.
[00:58:47] Speaker A: Mike, real quick question. Is the boxing ring that this fight is happening in, it's not made out of wood, is it?
[00:58:57] Speaker C: Should I have checked that?
[00:58:58] Speaker B: We flash forward to the fight where all the boxers are standing in their bedrooms. They're getting ready. They're like, shaking it out. They're getting them big massage. They're doing the oils and whatever.
As stands full of just termites and like three human people are those three human people.
[00:59:19] Speaker C: Three human people, by the way, are sitting all in a row. It is Mayor Alex, Adam, Rudy, and then Mike G, all sitting in a row, just kind of patiently, just kind of chilling, waiting for the great seats.
[00:59:30] Speaker A: Guys. Yeah. Hey, did you get any can you guys pass the wood chips?
[00:59:35] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:59:36] Speaker A: There you oh, thank you.
[00:59:39] Speaker C: I'll be honest with you guys. I mean, listen, this is a good time, but I'm a little scared for Mike Tyson and for Floyd Mayweather and for and first of all, I didn't even know Rocky was real. I just thought it was Sylvester Stallone.
[00:59:52] Speaker B: But I guess, let alone that there are six of were six there were six separate Rockies.
[00:59:59] Speaker C: My money's on Rocky II, to be honest. To be perfectly frank. That's a good one.
[01:00:03] Speaker A: Well, you know, Sylvester is too busy running the stallone zone. That can't possibly be rocky.
[01:00:09] Speaker C: Rocky clones. But as much as I'm scared for the outcome of this fight, I will say I was also very scared by the hot close of this scene, of.
[01:00:17] Speaker B: This that was actually a great I laughed out loud at that. That was so funny.
[01:00:25] Speaker C: Yes, that was a fantastic bit. Did you guys have so, first of all, stealing the remote. Obviously, you don't do it. Did you guys have anything as a kid that you could never touch, even of your parents?
[01:00:38] Speaker B: No, not really. My family didn't have a grecian urn or anything, like fancy or, like fabrice eggs that we couldn't that were kept behind a glass case or whatever, so I don't think I have that specific fear. And also, my father is not an insane person who screams at people about his remote.
[01:01:04] Speaker A: I was allowed to touch the remote, but there was one day when I was, like, 13 when a remote was thrown at my head.
[01:01:12] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[01:01:12] Speaker C: Oh, what? By who?
[01:01:14] Speaker A: Yes, by my sister, who I have not mentioned up until this point. Yeah, but you have a sister.
[01:01:21] Speaker B: Not hard to see why.
[01:01:24] Speaker A: No, I was talking to my friend on the phone, probably about Raymond, and she wanted the phone, and I said no. So she threw a remote in my head and hit me in the head.
[01:01:32] Speaker B: Did you drop the phone?
[01:01:34] Speaker A: No, I kept it, and I talked to my friend for, like, another half.
[01:01:37] Speaker B: Hour, lying on the floor, bleeding out of the skull. You stayed on the phone?
[01:01:42] Speaker A: Yeah, I was like, Call 911. He's like, I can. I'm talking to you. I was like, Good point. Keep talking to me.
[01:01:49] Speaker B: What a beautiful memory.
[01:01:51] Speaker A: Yeah. So no I'd ever had anything I couldn't touch. What about you, Mike?
[01:01:58] Speaker C: Nothing that I say is going to be better than that story of you bleeding.
[01:02:01] Speaker A: That's a true story, by the way.
[01:02:03] Speaker C: I believe it. That was said with conviction.
I also wanted to ask, was this thing, like, was this shot a reference to something felt very specific to me.
[01:02:15] Speaker B: That zoomed in. Yeah, that felt like a little like a horror movie jarring. Like zoom and the jump scares of Robert coming in, sitting down in his room and Frank slamming the door. He was hiding behind the door and holding up the remote, like menacingly. It did feel like very horror esque as much as oh, and we also got like a weird camera.
Camera work in this episode was surprising of when Ray left the remote in Robert's room of Panning to see that and zooming into Robert's bookshelf. So I feel like they're definitely getting more dynamic with the camera work.
[01:02:57] Speaker A: I feel like as the show is progressing, the show creators are evolving and experimenting the format in new and interesting different ways to try and keep their audience engaged and keep them from giving us bad reviews. Keep giving them bad reviews. Excuse me.
[01:03:13] Speaker B: Yeah, I think that's a good impulse for them to have. Definitely on the show.
[01:03:19] Speaker A: My big question about this episode for you guys, along with just your general overarching opinions, but was this a good start for season three?
[01:03:30] Speaker B: I think so. I think it set like a good tone we play on the familiar theme of Marie and Frank are intrusive and make Ray and Deborah's lives difficult. So it was a really great reintroduction to that, especially because we haven't watched the show in quite a few weeks with all the mayor stuff that we've been setting up. So I thought it was a strong episode and it really set the tone.
[01:04:00] Speaker C: I agree. Good start. Very strong episode. Very funny. I was here for it. Especially the monologue from Marie at the end where it just proves that she's just ignorant to everything that are feeling. I just kind of deeply love that for the character that that is established. That's just complete blissful ignorance on her part.
[01:04:22] Speaker A: She just understands herself as someone who gives and gives and does not see anything wrong with that.
Just know is completely blind to the complaints of those around her. Much like any good mare. And that's what I strive to be.
[01:04:39] Speaker C: Shut up, Alex. The fight's starting. The fight's starting.
[01:04:41] Speaker B: Yeah. They're wheeling out that cart of remotes that they're going to throw at each other. This is going to be great.
[01:04:46] Speaker C: Here we go. Here we go. And we see as the fight begins, all of the Rockies start going at it.
All of the Floyd Mayweather and Mike Tyson start going at it. Mayweather goes down instantly in a match between Rocky and Mike Tyson in his prime. Are you kidding me? Floyd Mayweather doesn't stand chance.
[01:05:06] Speaker B: He could barely be yeah, Mike Tyson, who's currently in his yeah, yeah.
[01:05:11] Speaker C: Well, even though he's yeah, exactly. They reversed age much like they clearly cloned Rocky six times.
[01:05:17] Speaker A: Oh, shit. Mike Tyson took down Rocky. Oh, but here comes Rocky with a surprise attack. And who's that. Coming up the rear. It's Rocky with Rocky by his side. And oh, boy, there's Rocky. Curing him on.
[01:05:29] Speaker C: All of the Rockies are dogpiling, but Mike Tyson throws haymakers left and right. He's out of it. He's out of it. He's standing up there. Mike Tyson just spontaneously is thrown in the air. Those threers all glance on his face. He is out. But who threw the punch? You see, the camera slowly starts to zoom in. It's Timmy termite from the top rope. Timmy Termite did it himself.
[01:05:52] Speaker A: Damn it.
[01:05:56] Speaker C: This is what happens.
This is what happens when a termite hits puberty. Everybody, you can really do it here.
[01:06:04] Speaker B: I forgot I hit puberty.
[01:06:06] Speaker A: He left his balls in the truck.
[01:06:08] Speaker B: Take that, Tyson. We see all the termites from the stand are pouring down into the ring and they're forming a giant fist and are just hammering all of the boxers for getting thrown around the hallway.
[01:06:25] Speaker A: Guys, I think I found a solution to our termite problem.
[01:06:28] Speaker B: What?
[01:06:29] Speaker A: Most of them seem to be here. We send out a calling signal, seal up the room after they all get here. Infinite termite fight club.
[01:06:37] Speaker B: Yeah, let them.
[01:06:40] Speaker C: I was just going to give all of them a free ticket to Aruba so that they could go on vacation. I like that much better. Let's just do it that way.
[01:06:48] Speaker B: I think I'm going to cosign Mike's plan. I don't really want to. Now that we've seen these termites have personalities in their lives, I maybe don't want to do a mass murder where they beat each other to death.
We zoom in, by the way, on a very small scale to a group of termites who are not down in the fight.
[01:07:11] Speaker D: Margaret, I've been trying not to tell you this, but I just can't keep it inside.
Just go ahead, Fernando. I just can't stay in this marriage any longer.
Fernando, what are you saying?
I don't love you anymore.
[01:07:37] Speaker C: It sucks to you, Nando. Let's go, Peggy. We've got places to be, people to see.
[01:07:43] Speaker D: Yeah. I'm gonna go fuck darren You're Fernando. What?
[01:07:49] Speaker A: You're Fernando.
[01:07:51] Speaker C: Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
[01:07:54] Speaker D: Wait. Are you fucking Margaret?
[01:07:57] Speaker C: Let's be clear.
[01:07:59] Speaker D: I thought we were wait, is this a triangle?
[01:08:04] Speaker C: My name is Darren the Termite. I want to be 100% clear. I am down to fuck either of you. Which one is it?
[01:08:13] Speaker D: Well, what do you think, Fernando? Margaret, I think we should do this for our marriage. I think instead of ending our marriage, we should open it up.
[01:08:24] Speaker B: And then just at that moment, alex stomps down on this beautiful.
[01:08:30] Speaker A: Stepped in shit.
[01:08:31] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
[01:08:32] Speaker B: Well, I think let's go the Jamaica route and we'll see how that goes.
[01:08:37] Speaker C: Hey, termites, I got wood and I hold up a tree that I brought it with me.
[01:08:44] Speaker A: You hear the crowd start chanting, mike's got wood. Mike's got wood.
There's already t shirts.
[01:08:53] Speaker B: Yeah. We cut out to the street where people are filing out from the fight from various sports bars on the street, and everyone is chanting. It's like the end of Star Wars when the Death Star blows up. Everyone's cheering. We cut around different parts of Limbrook, little Italy, Little Koreatown, et cetera, of people just cheering mike Scott Wood. Yeah, forget about it. The baguette district.
Mike Scott Wood. Mike Scott Wood and all of the termites start proceeding out of the town hall, doing a big conga line. Mike is at the door handing out tickets to Aruba. They're getting directly onto a tiny plane.
[01:09:36] Speaker A: I see Diane standing nearby the entrance of town hall, kind of seeing this insane show going on, and I feel the need. I walk up to her.
Welcome to limbrook.
[01:09:51] Speaker B: I think we are actually going to move.
[01:09:54] Speaker C: Can I have a corn dog?
[01:09:57] Speaker B: Well, now that you put it that way hold on, Floyd.
[01:10:03] Speaker C: Babe, I just lost the boxing match. Mike Tyson absolutely demolished me because he's a much, much better fighter. And the fact that we were listed in the same sentence is an insult to boxers everywhere.
[01:10:13] Speaker B: Yeah, he is in his prime now. Thanks for staying on the phone with me while he threw a remote at your head and you fell onto the ground.
[01:10:21] Speaker C: Yeah, no problem, babe.
[01:10:22] Speaker B: I was just going to say, you know that new business idea you've been looking for?
[01:10:26] Speaker C: Yeah.
[01:10:27] Speaker B: Well, listen to this. And she holds out the phone. Everyone chanting God wood.
Hold on. Not that she points. It another direction where people are chanting, corn dog. Corn dog.
[01:10:38] Speaker C: Babe, we're going into the corn dog business.
[01:10:43] Speaker B: And we flash forward to a montage. We see a montage of Mayweather family corn dogs being set up, the mother in law and Diane shaking hands, pushing corn dog through the park and handing them out to people like ice cream cones. People are eating them like ice cream cones, licking them.
[01:11:07] Speaker A: I'm standing nearby with my arm around Mike, and I say, Mike, that's how you deal with termites.
[01:11:17] Speaker C: Cut to the barome boys sitting around in the president's suite eating or into the town hall eating corn dogs. So what do we put on the barometer?
[01:11:26] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
[01:11:27] Speaker A: Oh, crap. We got to do that.
[01:11:28] Speaker B: We were too busy solving the town's problems that we in no way created that we forgot to put the barometer together. So, yeah, the barometer, which obviously is the scale from one to ten, on which we rate Ray's performance as a husband, brother, son, house guest with spirit. One being the bad men of television history, walter White, Don Draper, and ten being the best TV dads of all time, bob Saget. Bob Saget. Not Danny Saget himself.
[01:12:01] Speaker A: Yeah, america's, dad.
[01:12:03] Speaker B: Bob Saget himself. Rest in power. And Uncle Phil and Carl Winslow. Reginald Vel Johnson.
So, Mike, where is Ray? Coming in for you on this episode.
[01:12:18] Speaker C: Horrible house guest, horrible son, horrible brother.
Not terrible husband. Had his wife's back.
I'm going to call it a six. I'm going to call it a six. I think that overall, the supportiveness of being a petty asshole with his wife was good for him. I think that was good character development. Got to give him credit for that. I think that's worth a six. That puts him in the plus for me.
[01:12:42] Speaker B: Nice. I'm going to go with a I think a five feels appropriate because, yeah, I do want to give him credit for he did support Deborah in this, but also kind of an asshole.
The unscrewing of the fridge feels big to me just because I wouldn't know how to do that. So it feels very intentional and pointed.
So, yeah, I'm really not thrilled with him, but he was okay. I mean, he didn't do a huge alex, where are you?
[01:13:21] Speaker A: I gotta go.
[01:13:22] Speaker B: He's mayor business or something.
[01:13:26] Speaker A: Phone call.
[01:13:27] Speaker B: Oh, no.
[01:13:30] Speaker C: Paul, we don't want you right now.
[01:13:32] Speaker B: Paul, how did you get in the desk drawer? Paul, can you get out of here?
Desk. God, you fold up so compactly. What do you want?
[01:13:43] Speaker C: All right, you're here now I want to know, what did you think of Ray's behavior in season three, episode one?
[01:13:51] Speaker A: Are you sure you don't want to ask me about Robert?
[01:13:54] Speaker B: I really in fact, I'm afraid asking you about Ray. Okay.
[01:14:02] Speaker A: Raymond gets a one out of ten. Wow.
[01:14:07] Speaker B: Okay, that's very extreme. What is your rationale there, Paul?
[01:14:17] Speaker A: I can't even say. He rejected. Oh, no advance.
[01:14:21] Speaker C: Oh, God.
[01:14:22] Speaker B: Okay, well, Paul needs to leave and goodbye. Nope, get back in the drawer, Gary.
[01:14:28] Speaker C: That one. We don't need to hear any more of that explanation.
[01:14:31] Speaker A: Oh, no.
Sorry, guys, phone call.
[01:14:34] Speaker B: We've got to fire that guy.
[01:14:36] Speaker A: Yeah, I swear to God. I guess there's a door in the drawer. I don't know.
[01:14:42] Speaker B: I believe it is a narnia situation. It's the Ikea Narnia desk.
[01:14:47] Speaker A: That's what happens. I mean, what? I mean, we're just about out of time.
[01:14:50] Speaker B: Yeah. So, Mike.
Mike.
[01:14:53] Speaker C: What does count? Paul's as Alex's. That rounds us out as a four for this episode?
[01:15:00] Speaker B: That feels mostly right.
[01:15:04] Speaker C: Seems pretty middle.
[01:15:05] Speaker A: You did good.
[01:15:06] Speaker B: I don't know. Well, we don't have time to hear your explanation, unfortunately, Alex, because we do have to get on to more public service.
[01:15:14] Speaker A: It's true.
[01:15:15] Speaker B: Well, we do want to give a shout out to Sebastian and Phil, who both donated to Postfund and got access to the Baronus Sonus. We also want to shout out Stuart, who sent us an email breaking down and this is extremely helpful, actually, breaking down the character's ages for us and letting us know exactly how old Ray is and when he was born, by the way, 1959.
[01:15:47] Speaker C: We will be referencing that as we go forward. I really do appreciate that.
[01:15:51] Speaker B: We faxed it to ourselves so that we have a print out of it and we've put it taped it up.
[01:15:57] Speaker A: On it's, currently framed right there. Yes, absolutely.
Anything else we need to discuss? Aside from the usual housekeeping, I think.
[01:16:05] Speaker B: Just reach out to
[email protected] at baroneszone on Facebook and Instagram.
[01:16:12] Speaker A: And before we go, I also wanted to I mean, look, it's the first episode of season three. It's a big one. I wanted to once again, just thank you all for coming in, listening all the way to the end. Next week, keep an eye out for season three, episode two, which will also be playing all over limbrook. If you're not living in limbrook, maybe considering journeying over. So long as you are not a small insect that eats wood, you are always welcome here. Stop by. I'd be more than happy to take a photo with you. Mike will take it and I won't.
[01:16:52] Speaker B: Be involved at all.
[01:16:54] Speaker A: And Adam will watch in the corner restraining Paul. We promise.
We're going to fire him. I never want to see that man again.
[01:17:03] Speaker B: I regret reading bringing him back.
[01:17:06] Speaker A: He sucks and I hate him regardless. There's only r1 last thing to do, and that is our classic sign off. I get to say it for once.
[01:17:15] Speaker B: That's right.
[01:17:16] Speaker A: Everybody Loves Raymond.
[01:17:20] Speaker B: And we love.
