[00:00:22] Speaker A: Hey, guys.
[00:00:22] Speaker B: I was really confused when I got the address because I kept putting it into Google and it was like, that's the mayor's office. And I was like, that can't be right. But I see it feels oddly intimate to be just like here while this is happening.
[00:00:36] Speaker C: No, don't mind them. It's a real communal atmosphere. This is Spike, Dennis and Lolita, and they are giving us tattoos, actually.
[00:00:47] Speaker B: I could see.
[00:00:48] Speaker A: Yeah. Hey, so, Schneider, it's good to see you. Can you just wait, Spike? I want it all on the left cheek, okay? Just all of it.
[00:00:55] Speaker C: And Lolita, I will take it all up the thigh if possible, just so that when I stand a know, you can read the whole thing.
[00:01:05] Speaker B: I will say, Mikey, that's a bold choice to go with the face tattoo.
[00:01:08] Speaker A: Yeah, you know, I was going to go on the back, but then if I did it on the back, no one will be able to see. Gotta I gotta own know.
[00:01:17] Speaker D: Well, I got to run for office again at some point, so I'm getting the tramp stamp.
[00:01:21] Speaker B: Lovely.
[00:01:23] Speaker C: What is the line break situation on that, Dennis? Because, I mean, we've got a long couple words like merry Xmas. We love you, Michael. Jeffrey alley. Debra. Ray. Are you doing, like, Star Wars crawl of a tramp stamp or are you like, doing a belt? What's the plan, Alex?
[00:01:42] Speaker A: We're just going to go for it and see what happens.
[00:01:44] Speaker C: Okay.
You've been working for, like, 20 minutes.
An interesting attitude to go into a tattoo with Dennis.
[00:01:52] Speaker D: We shouldn't have drawn straws for tattooers.
[00:01:55] Speaker A: How do you spell Jeffrey? Is it with the J or is it with the geo bullshit?
[00:01:59] Speaker C: That's actually a hold on, boy.
[00:02:05] Speaker A: Hold on. It's going to be fun. Yeah.
[00:02:08] Speaker C: Big black paint roller over the thigh there. That is interesting.
[00:02:13] Speaker A: Yeah, that's why we have whiteout.
[00:02:15] Speaker C: So, Schneider, we're almost done. I think I'm down to Ally right now. So just Deborah and Ray left.
[00:02:21] Speaker B: But it's very ornate how you guys are doing it. Like with the big almost looks like the first letter in a medieval manuscript.
[00:02:29] Speaker C: Yeah, well, I mean, we've been here.
[00:02:31] Speaker B: I imagine it's going to take a minute.
[00:02:33] Speaker C: What is this, like hour three, guys? Because we've had them illuminate. The first letter of each line, obviously. Snail nights. Fighting. Snails.
Monks nude. Plenty of those little toad.
[00:02:48] Speaker B: Mother Mary punching a devil.
[00:02:50] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:02:53] Speaker D: I wish I could see that.
[00:02:55] Speaker A: That's good. I appreciate that. Someone that likes the minutiae, I appreciate you.
[00:03:00] Speaker C: Honestly, Dennis, you don't seem too concerned with minutiae as you did not have a plan for where you were going to put Alex's tattoo. To be honest. Yeah, I'm just saying it's going to impact.
[00:03:14] Speaker A: It looks cool. It looks cool. You got Mary punching the guy. It's great.
[00:03:18] Speaker D: This is sounding like it's not what I wanted.
[00:03:21] Speaker C: Do you guys do tattoo rescue? We should have asked you up front, but do you do tattoo rescue?
[00:03:26] Speaker A: None of my tattoos need rescuing.
[00:03:28] Speaker C: Okay, that's Dennis's answer. Spike. Yeah. Okay. Lolita, do you do tattoo?
[00:03:33] Speaker B: Know I'm not really good with it, but if you want me to kind of just send it, do my best, see what we can do. Maybe we can turn your ex's name into a pretty little bird or something.
[00:03:44] Speaker C: Okay, that sounds good. I like you. You're my favorite one of the tattoo. I'm glad we got matched up. That quiz, by the way, was intense when we did that quiz.
[00:03:56] Speaker D: Which tattoo artist is right for you?
[00:03:58] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm so happy you got yeah.
[00:04:00] Speaker C: Well, I mean, we both answered that our favorite episode of Everybody Loves Raymond was season three, episode twelve, The Toaster. And that's how I knew you would be the perfect one for this tattoo in particular.
[00:04:11] Speaker B: Yeah, of course. If you could just get a little deeper into your kimbo stance.
[00:04:14] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. Let me deep squat and almost touching the floor. And there we go. Thankfully, it's humid in here.
[00:04:23] Speaker B: Perfect.
[00:04:24] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:04:24] Speaker D: There you go. You want a mug for that tea bag?
[00:04:27] Speaker A: Sorry, one more question, guys.
Michael, michael. Does it have two KS or is that a Q?
[00:04:36] Speaker B: Dennis, what the fuck?
[00:04:38] Speaker A: It's an H mary X and a silent W. We know it's Mary Xmas. Love, Jeffrey. Michael. Ali?
[00:04:45] Speaker C: No, it's Mary Xmas. We love you, Michael. Jeffrey. Oh, sorry about that.
[00:04:52] Speaker A: Hold on, hold on.
[00:04:53] Speaker D: It sounds like the alex, you got.
[00:04:55] Speaker C: A real, like, Jackson Pollock thing going on right now with all those corrections.
[00:04:59] Speaker D: It'll probably look good.
[00:05:00] Speaker B: Dennis, they gave each of us a piece of paper that had the tattoo on it.
[00:05:06] Speaker C: I brought the toaster. I bought one of the prop toasters from this episode.
I don't know what you guys are doing. I'm doing stainless steel lettering so that it's sort of reflective when I do my dance.
[00:05:19] Speaker B: Well, we've already established that Dennis is doing the medieval illumination.
[00:05:22] Speaker A: That's true. Yeah. Listen, I get the sense and then I let them use this. Speak to me.
[00:05:29] Speaker C: I just improvisational tattooing turning sense.
[00:05:34] Speaker A: I get the gist.
[00:05:38] Speaker B: This is why people with PhDs in history don't make good tattoo artists.
[00:05:42] Speaker A: Listen shut up. How dare you?
[00:05:46] Speaker C: I've been tell her to shut up. What the fuck? Get out.
[00:05:54] Speaker A: She's dissing my Dennis.
[00:05:56] Speaker C: Dennis, you're fired.
[00:05:57] Speaker A: Path is different, and I just say.
[00:05:59] Speaker C: We do not talk to people like that in this office. Please leave. Alex, this one's on me. Lolita, if you wouldn't mind staying after you finish mine to do some rescue on.
[00:06:14] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, it'll be one of those real cool collaborative pieces.
[00:06:19] Speaker C: Yeah, but mainly just like if you can put a base down of skin color and then put the proper tattoo on it, that's probably the best.
[00:06:27] Speaker A: You're all on my list. Get to brutee. You guys don't even get that because it's a reference to Julius Caesar, who was murdered by his best friend.
[00:06:37] Speaker B: Hey, Dennis.
[00:06:38] Speaker A: I did my thesis.
Did my thesis on this shit.
[00:06:44] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:06:45] Speaker D: I don't like Dennis.
[00:06:46] Speaker C: Goodbye.
[00:06:47] Speaker B: I didn't even get a chance to say hi. I tried to introduce myself and he.
[00:06:52] Speaker D: Was just you know, it's probably for the.
[00:06:57] Speaker A: Hey, buddy, what is your opinion?
[00:06:59] Speaker C: Shut up, Dennis.
[00:07:01] Speaker B: Shut the fuck up, Dennis. I'm trying to egyptians there were no aliens.
[00:07:05] Speaker A: Get the fuck out.
[00:07:08] Speaker B: Like I said, Alex, I'm not really good at the whole tattoo rescue, so I'm good at putting down original work, but covering something, it's a little more challenging. Don't have a lot of practice. But that's why I'm saying less of a cover up, more of a collaboration. We'll see what we can do.
[00:07:28] Speaker D: Okay, you know what? Just make it look nice and pretty, and it'll probably be okay.
[00:07:34] Speaker B: He spelt Jeffrey with a w.
Where's.
[00:07:38] Speaker C: The w you'd be doing? Okay, so I think I'm done, right? Because you've stopped penning my thigh. So I'm just going to get up and I'll turn the mics on and everything, because, Schneider, you were actually supposed to be here at 1230.
[00:07:59] Speaker B: Like I said, it was kind of hard to find the place because the map kept bringing me to the mayor's.
[00:08:04] Speaker C: Office and I yeah, no, possible. No, that's where have you not been keeping up with the local news? Been a while you don't know about.
[00:08:12] Speaker B: No, I actually went to the Barone zone.
[00:08:15] Speaker C: Yeah, a lot has actually changed since you were last with us. I don't know if you remember, Alex was running for mayor of that now.
[00:08:23] Speaker B: What was tyrone Dickey.
[00:08:25] Speaker C: That's right, Tyrone. Dickey.
[00:08:27] Speaker B: Get a good platform.
[00:08:28] Speaker C: A real nibbling monster of a man who was absolutely trounced in the polls at the end of the day.
[00:08:36] Speaker B: That's unfortunate.
[00:08:37] Speaker C: 51 to 49. Alex took it by a landslide.
But he's the mayor of Limbrook now, so we do our podcast out of the town hall.
[00:08:47] Speaker B: Well, congratulations.
[00:08:48] Speaker D: Thank you.
[00:08:49] Speaker A: All right. Sorry, I had to keep my mouth shut.
[00:08:52] Speaker C: While Spike was finishing up, mine upgraded to gag. You got the gag?
[00:08:58] Speaker A: Well, yeah. I mean, some goofing it seems that talking while somebody's engraving on your cheek is a bad idea, generally speaking. So, anyway, Spike did a pretty good job. He didn't throw much style on it. He just exactly did what I asked. He just wrote the words, and I think there's something special to that.
[00:09:21] Speaker D: You know what? If it's just what you get, if it's what you ask for? I think that's a pretty good tattoo, by the way. We set up.
[00:09:30] Speaker C: Yeah. Hold on, I have to plug in the fourth mic.
[00:09:35] Speaker B: Okay, so I just want to clarify, Adam. Did you just ask Mikey if he upgraded to the gag?
[00:09:43] Speaker C: Yeah. So the way I don't know if you've ever gotten a concierge tattoo where they go to you, they come to you and they bring, like, a little doctor case, like a toolkit of various accoutrement. Obviously, the tattoo gun itself. If you're not looking to spend so much, you can do it middle school style, where they crack open a ballpoint pen, and then, of course, there's, like, the restraints that you would have in a normal tattoo parlor when you're getting extensive work done.
Handcuffs, obviously, Mike went for the handcuffs. Fluffy pink.
Stocks. You can get stocks.
[00:10:23] Speaker A: I decided not to. Tattoos, too big of an upcharge. But they did that. They did that. They did the neck brace, too. It was pretty solid. Yeah.
[00:10:31] Speaker C: Collar.
[00:10:31] Speaker B: I actually put about a quarter of my clients in a penis prison.
It doesn't help with the tattoo at all. It's just sort of a mental thing.
[00:10:40] Speaker D: Does that cost extra?
[00:10:41] Speaker B: Oh, does it cost no, it's really just for me.
[00:10:44] Speaker C: Okay. Are you concerned about overcrowding in the penis person?
[00:10:49] Speaker B: No, I have various different sizes.
[00:10:51] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:10:53] Speaker B: And I always just size down because the snugness that's what we're looking for. It's like a Simon Cowell T shirt. Or V neck, I should say.
[00:11:04] Speaker D: I like you.
[00:11:05] Speaker C: Yeah, we like you. Do you want to be, like, the fourth permanent host of the podcast?
[00:11:12] Speaker A: No. Guys, Schneider came all the way. He found the male.
[00:11:15] Speaker C: He can still be the guest. I'll just have to plug in the fifth mic, because I like the energy that Lolita obviously, we need a woman on the so yeah, the feminine energy.
[00:11:27] Speaker B: That Mike G been bringing hasn't exactly.
[00:11:29] Speaker A: Been don't don't do know. I don't know if that's fair.
I try my best. I try to balance these guys. I'm trying to balance these epitaphs of masculinity out with my own. You mean epitome? That's it.
[00:11:44] Speaker C: No.
Epitaphs. Yeah. Which is the inscription on a gravestone. Correct.
[00:11:53] Speaker A: That's it. That's the one.
[00:11:55] Speaker C: Okay, good. Then I ordered the right thing.
[00:11:57] Speaker B: Isn't that also what you call, like, at the very beginning of a book.
[00:12:00] Speaker C: Or something called a that's the epilogue. No, wait, the dedication, you mean?
[00:12:08] Speaker B: No, not the dedication.
[00:12:10] Speaker C: Epigraph, maybe.
[00:12:11] Speaker D: EpiPen.
[00:12:12] Speaker B: Epigraph. That's it.
[00:12:13] Speaker C: It's an it is. He's he's right. It is an epitaph. Obviously. I got did you know that the.
[00:12:18] Speaker A: Name Epigraph comes hey, get the fuck out of here. Dennis.
[00:12:22] Speaker C: Dennis, please get out of here.
[00:12:23] Speaker D: Fuck it.
[00:12:24] Speaker A: Guys, I am interesting factoids.
[00:12:28] Speaker B: Dennis, I swear to God I will change the locks on you.
[00:12:32] Speaker C: Oh, you gave him the penis prison?
[00:12:34] Speaker B: No, I mean to the tattoo, Paula, but that too oh, wow.
[00:12:38] Speaker A: I'll be back for you, Lolita. I'm not being here forever.
[00:12:42] Speaker C: I don't know if you want to go on recording saying, I'll be back for you, Lolita, but someone locked the door.
Bye, Dennis.
[00:12:51] Speaker D: Anyway, welcome back to Everybody Loves everybody Loves Ravens.
[00:12:56] Speaker C: Good, Lolita.
[00:12:57] Speaker A: Oh, my God.
[00:12:57] Speaker C: Lolita is staying around. Great. Okay, so let me plug everything else in, and we are rolling. So, Schneider, have a seat, please. All right. Lolita, if you want to just you can have my seat. I will stand.
[00:13:12] Speaker B: Yeah, we don't have to raise the mic one.
[00:13:16] Speaker C: Who is that? Those levels are good. Yes, your levels are good.
[00:13:20] Speaker A: Perfect. Sounds very sweet.
[00:13:21] Speaker D: So here we all are today, talking about another episode of Everybody Loves Raymond. This week's episode is episode twelve of season three, the Toaster. Raymond Endeavor. Give Frank and Maria a toaster for Christmas. When Maria returns the toaster that she has no clue, which was specially engraved for her and Frank, they set out to retrieve the toaster and hijinks, ensue. You can call me Alex Shear. I'm the mayor of Limbrook, and I am joined with not one, not two, not four. Oh, wait, yeah, actually, I'm joined by four wonderful people, and Mike is one of those people.
[00:13:59] Speaker A: Hey, everybody, I'm Mike G. I am the apparently tattoo publicity officer for the town of Limbrook, New York. And we got inspired by today's engravings and we all decided to get group tattoos of the actual engraving. It's great to be here.
[00:14:15] Speaker C: Tattoo publicity? What do you mean? Like, you hand out flyers with, like, apricots on them?
[00:14:22] Speaker A: No, Limbrook has a great subculture of specifically tattoo artists that has gone unsung in this town for far too long. We've got great tattoo artists such as Totally Tattoo Tattoo, palooza Tattoo City. They're not very imaginative names, but they're all very great artists. And I think it's time that we as a town recognize them. We're so happy to invite these three. Well, now, two artists with us here today. We got Spike, who has been quiet, but he's the one that marked me up.
[00:14:58] Speaker D: I'm Spike.
[00:15:00] Speaker A: Anyone tell oh, that's it okay.
[00:15:01] Speaker B: Yeah, Spike is a real short, sweet, to the point. I like you, Spike.
[00:15:04] Speaker A: Spikes, man, a few words.
[00:15:06] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:15:07] Speaker B: Hi, I'm Lolita. Kathy is what my actual name is. They call me Lolita because I really like Nabokov. Not for any other reason.
[00:15:17] Speaker D: I'm Spike.
[00:15:19] Speaker A: We got it.
[00:15:20] Speaker B: Yeah, we know you're, so.
[00:15:27] Speaker C: And and me also.
Hi, I'm Adam Rudy. I am the franchisee, hopefully a prospective franchisee of the new branch of Bloomingdale's here in Lynbrook. It's going to be taxpayer funded, taxpayer owned, and, of course, taxpayer run. So come on down. Well, we're not open yet, but when we're open, come on down. And lastly, I think we've hit everyone. No.
[00:15:57] Speaker D: Schneider, did you introduce yourself and I didn't?
[00:15:59] Speaker C: I got confused because I forgot that Spike was here.
[00:16:01] Speaker B: Oh, no, I'm his ride home, I guess.
[00:16:04] Speaker D: We have five people here aside from me. This is a crowded table. We've never had this many people.
[00:16:10] Speaker A: First of all, for those of us that are listening, for the first time, this is Joseph Robert Schneider.
[00:16:15] Speaker B: He is a hey, I have a new name now.
[00:16:18] Speaker A: Oh, you do? What's your new name?
[00:16:19] Speaker B: That all in there.
[00:16:20] Speaker A: Oh, that's right. Joseph Robert Catherine Schneider. I apologize, I forgot. That's right, Schneider. Schneider is an improviser, a clown, comedian, a thinker of our time.
He thinks, yeah, I love how this.
[00:16:38] Speaker B: Is my third time on this podcast, and none of the times have we ever talked about how you would introduce me prior.
[00:16:44] Speaker A: That is correct. That is correct. Listen, I just got to ask, this is the first time in a while that you've been back. Have you been keeping up with Ray or the town of Limbrook at all?
[00:16:52] Speaker B: No. Can't say I have. The last episode of Everybody Loves Raymond I watched was the last episode that I covered on this show, so there's a gap.
[00:17:03] Speaker D: It's okay. You know what? I don't really watch the show either. It's fine.
[00:17:07] Speaker B: Sorry, tell us your constituents know.
[00:17:09] Speaker A: Yeah, I was going to say you.
[00:17:10] Speaker B: Kind of I haven't been following local politics much, but it's my understanding that.
[00:17:14] Speaker D: That'S the whole shtick oh, yeah, we'll cut that out. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
[00:17:18] Speaker A: Yeah, no, we got it. We got it. We'll cut that today we're talking about season three, episode twelve. Do you have any general thoughts on the episode there, Schneider?
[00:17:27] Speaker B: So every episode that I've been on this show for has had a different intro.
True.
What was it? Was it o to joy?
[00:17:39] Speaker A: Yeah, that's the one.
[00:17:41] Speaker D: The one that sticks for a long time after this.
[00:17:45] Speaker B: Yeah. That's insane, because I actually thought the episode was starting when the intro started, and then you thought they were making.
[00:17:56] Speaker C: Some big changes to the format.
[00:17:58] Speaker B: Teddy bear at the sound system and it explodes. Like, who did that wiring budgeting?
I don't know.
[00:18:10] Speaker A: Is this intro better or worse, in your opinion, than the antigravity opening?
[00:18:13] Speaker B: That's the worst fucking thing I've ever.
[00:18:15] Speaker A: Seen in my life.
[00:18:16] Speaker B: Yeah, at least this exists in a base reality. The antigravity one is deeply, deeply, deeply stupid. And whoever came up with that idea needs to be fired from a cannon. Wow.
[00:18:31] Speaker D: I'm pretty sure I read those exact words on our website.
[00:18:33] Speaker A: Yeah, I was going to say, I think that's directly from the comments section of Everybody Loves everybody Loves Raymond.
[00:18:40] Speaker B: So the one with him building the playhouse in the back?
[00:18:45] Speaker D: Yeah, that one was fine.
[00:18:46] Speaker B: That's the first one, right?
[00:18:47] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:18:48] Speaker C: To put it in your terms, it is the most grounded and realistic one.
[00:18:53] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:18:54] Speaker C: Although we don't know why a man is just approaching Ray with a camera and asking him to introduce himself in his life, but and the conveyor belt.
[00:19:02] Speaker B: Is at least like that's a thing that exists. And it kind of plays with your expectations of what a sitcom intro is because you don't really question it too hard. But then he's just like, oh, these are actually people on a conveyor belt. And it's like, oh, that's funny. A little meta.
And then the antigravity one just I wanted to throw something at my TV.
And then I saw this and somehow more grounded, but just as dumb.
[00:19:35] Speaker A: Oh, I thought this one was funnier. I like this one.
[00:19:37] Speaker C: I like this one as well. I think it at least has sort of a like you can tell what they're going for. They're going for this action movie kind of thing to contrast the very grounded show that we usually see. We're going to blow up a teddy bear with a stereo, or vice versa.
And then I love the end of this. That's the other thing about this is that it is actually a joke. It has a premise that has punchlines in it of like, at the very end, marie's hand coming through the letter slot and grabs hair.
It's additive to the episode as a whole. I mean, obviously I skip it now, but the first time I saw a it's a comedy piece, I know, but.
[00:20:26] Speaker B: It feels like its own little like Everybody Loves Raymond short, which it is. That's basically what it is. But I don't feel like that's what the genre of intro is supposed to be. I don't think it really does what an intro is designed to do. I think an intro is and this is why I don't skip intros even when I'm watching like three or four episodes.
[00:20:49] Speaker A: Oh, wow, we got a real one.
[00:20:51] Speaker B: They're supposed to be like an important part of the pacing of the episode. It brings you, if it's a television show with a cold open from the cold open into an intro that's supposed to set you back to a zero from which the episode will then emerge.
But it's an important part of the episode, and not just like in sitcoms, but in any television show. It establishes the tone and timbre of what is to come. Having one that it's its own little thing kind of feels like it's abdicating its responsibility as the introduction of the show to instead be its own little thing. It's like, no, you have a job.
[00:21:32] Speaker C: Do it well, Tonally. It's definitely a departure, but it does do a pretty good job completely without dialogue. Although there might be one thing.
[00:21:41] Speaker B: They're coming.
[00:21:42] Speaker D: The show not tell philosophy.
[00:21:44] Speaker C: It does a pretty good job of showing the central dynamic and the premise of the show, I think. But it just feels a little like.
[00:21:53] Speaker B: Outside of the genre of a show.
[00:21:55] Speaker C: Intro, it doesn't necessarily need to be like a genre piece like it is. I think you're right about that. But it's fun. I don't begrudge it. I obviously prefer it to the antigravity opening, at least this one. They have the technology.
[00:22:09] Speaker B: Just a black screen with the little piano fill and just the title.
[00:22:14] Speaker A: Just that.
[00:22:15] Speaker C: They do that sometimes a lot.
[00:22:16] Speaker D: They do that for the longer episodes when they need the runtime.
[00:22:22] Speaker A: If the runtime is 22 minutes without the intro, they will skip the intro. They'll just go right into the episode.
[00:22:29] Speaker C: Much like you refuse.
[00:22:30] Speaker B: I would honestly just prefer a sopranos cut to black to the antigravity, like.
[00:22:36] Speaker C: At the end of the episode. And we're supposed to assume that they shot cold open.
[00:22:44] Speaker B: Whoever closes out the cold open just in the middle of their last line, even if the punchline is coming, you don't get it. Fuck you just cut, cut.
[00:22:53] Speaker C: And then they I don't remember how Don't Stop Believing goes whenever I hear.
[00:22:58] Speaker B: Don't Stop Believing, I always expect it to cut out in the middle of the chorus. And it I'm like, oh, yeah.
[00:23:03] Speaker D: I always start believing. I always stop believing out of spite.
[00:23:06] Speaker B: When I hear that song. So I haven't shared any of my thoughts on the episode.
[00:23:12] Speaker C: We have other people to hear from, too. No offense, but I'd like to hear from some of our other guests. If you don't.
[00:23:19] Speaker B: We really build out the table this week, guys. I'm excited.
[00:23:21] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:23:22] Speaker D: This has never happened before. We've never had a table with more than four chairs.
[00:23:25] Speaker C: Yeah, well, I mean, we still don't. That's why I'm a good thing. Like, I built up my leg strength getting those quad tattoos because my squat has really improved.
[00:23:35] Speaker A: But yeah, I was going to say.
[00:23:36] Speaker B: You'Re still all the way down at the ground. That's impressive.
[00:23:39] Speaker A: Got to ear that out.
[00:23:40] Speaker C: Well, I did. And this is just a fun thing that I've been doing is you see the tile floor here? I've been replacing it with wet cement to sort of do like a Chinese theater thing where I make the impression in my deep squat and then I sign it and then I have a bunch of those all over the town hall. It's sort of like my own personal Walk of fame.
[00:24:05] Speaker D: Is that why we've been getting calls about tiny, tiny potholes?
[00:24:09] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:24:12] Speaker A: Good one.
[00:24:13] Speaker B: Alex, thanks for bringing us back to middle school with the tiny balls joke.
[00:24:17] Speaker C: Thank you.
[00:24:18] Speaker D: I admit my specialty.
[00:24:19] Speaker C: I shouldn't have done it during the marbles tournament because I know that that fucked things up a lot.
[00:24:25] Speaker D: Oh, my God, they were mad.
[00:24:27] Speaker C: They would flick their marbles and I don't know if that's how you play it, but they would flick their marbles and they go into my impression and it would sort of like the centrifugal force of it was so much I mean, that's how that kid died.
[00:24:39] Speaker D: That's how they lost their marbles.
[00:24:44] Speaker B: Can we vote to kick Alex off the show? Hey, no. I kind of like his joke.
[00:24:50] Speaker C: Oh, Alex. I'm spiked. Alex does have this effect on people. Lolita, what is your sort of take on this episode as a whole?
[00:24:58] Speaker B: So not to have like a hot take or something? Please do contemporarily. This episode got like, rave reviews and even like now if you look at any Raymond retrospective lists, it's like seven, six, five on the list. I don't get it. It's a good episode. End of my comments.
[00:25:17] Speaker C: It is considered a classic then there's definitely a classic line in this episode.
[00:25:24] Speaker D: What is it?
[00:25:25] Speaker C: It is you're a trophy wife what contest in hell did I win?
[00:25:33] Speaker D: I was expecting like, a participation trophy.
[00:25:37] Speaker C: That would have been good, too.
[00:25:38] Speaker B: Yeah, but one line is not a classic episode, mate.
[00:25:41] Speaker A: What were you expecting, Lolita? Did you pre look at these rankings or was it after the fact?
[00:25:48] Speaker B: I don't know. Maybe I'm just like the victim of hype to where I was hearing everybody else. I'd seen the episode myself, but then I was seeing everybody else just like, oh, my God, it's so good, it's so good. And I was like, okay, what did I miss? Let me go back and watch it. And I was just like, I didn't miss anything. It's a fine episode.
[00:26:05] Speaker C: Well, maybe divorced from the context of all the other episodes that have come before. Like, we've seen them all. So I think maybe our baseline for what a good episode is might be a little lower.
[00:26:17] Speaker A: I think what Adam is trying to say is I think we all have Stockholm syndrome here.
[00:26:21] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:26:23] Speaker B: So maybe I just have an unnaturally high boss for what I expect an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond to be. Because I haven't consumed all of the.
[00:26:32] Speaker C: Slop that you guys I think so. I think that's the best way to.
[00:26:35] Speaker A: Put you're a classy woman.
[00:26:36] Speaker B: Believe it.
[00:26:36] Speaker D: I kind of see this episode being framed almost as kind of like a Quintessential Raymond episode where it's like a plot that just feels so very much this show. It's Raymond doing a good thing and then self sabotaging himself for 20 minutes.
[00:26:50] Speaker C: I think so.
[00:26:52] Speaker B: But like I'm sorry, Adam. Go ahead.
[00:26:55] Speaker C: I think so.
[00:26:59] Speaker B: To Lolita's point, the beautiful, smart and intelligent woman to my left.
[00:27:05] Speaker C: Real love quadrangle forming here. I know. Mike, you've been making eyes at her.
[00:27:11] Speaker B: I think Lolita is just trying to get in good with Alex because she's a constituent.
[00:27:14] Speaker C: She wouldn't be the first.
[00:27:15] Speaker B: Actually, I'm from Hoboken.
[00:27:17] Speaker C: Really? You're from hook the path.
[00:27:19] Speaker B: Do you know the yeah, no, I'm like a backwoods bridge and tunnel person where I go straight over the city and come to Long Island.
[00:27:25] Speaker C: Wow. Do you take the.
[00:27:31] Speaker B: So I guess that wouldn't be backwards bridge and tunnel. That'd be like, somebody that works in the city. Lives in the city and works in Hoboken. I live in Hoboken. And then just like, jump right over the city.
[00:27:40] Speaker C: Alex, she is fascinating.
[00:27:41] Speaker B: She is something so to my.
[00:27:49] Speaker C: Talking. What?
[00:27:50] Speaker B: Yes, it's a fine episode. It's a fine episode. But it is Quintessential Ray almost to the level of parody. Like, I remember during the cold open, I was just like, oh, my God, Ray is such a whiny little dork I hate, like, it was just laying it on so thick.
[00:28:11] Speaker C: We will talk about it with all five of us or all six of us at the end of the episode when we do the barometer. But this is definitely a Ray at his more petulant of the ones that we've seen for sure. This is definitely a mode of rey that they write in sometimes. That is a very unattractive quality for him.
[00:28:35] Speaker A: Hey, he at least had least had a good idea with the gift, right? I mean, the gift is pretty cool.
[00:28:40] Speaker B: No, he didn't.
[00:28:40] Speaker A: The gift was dumb.
[00:28:41] Speaker C: What are you talking about? The gift is that it seems fine on paper. If he got that for his in laws, it's an engraved toaster that says hold on. Mike, can you turn your cheek towards me? Mary Xmas? We love you, Michael, Jeffrey, Ali, Debra.
[00:29:02] Speaker A: Spike. I think he used the original spelling of Deborah. No.
Yeah, I think he misspelled it. I think he spelled it debr.
[00:29:12] Speaker C: My point. Sorry not to draw attention to the misspelling on your cheek.
That's fine. But we find out over the course of the episode that he has purchased and gifted at least six of these toasters.
Like, I counted. Like we've got Marie and Frank, Robert, Warren and Lois. Andy, which Andy seems odd, but that's actually true.
[00:29:40] Speaker A: I didn't even process that before. But just Andy having just a toaster signed by his best friend's kids, the.
[00:29:50] Speaker B: Big old kerfuffle that he makes about the fact that oh, that was a toaster with your son's name and your grandchildren and their like what does that mean to Andy?
[00:30:02] Speaker C: I don't know. I don't know why it does seem like we haven't seen Andy even interact with the kids, really. So it seems weird for them to say, we love you, Andy.
[00:30:11] Speaker A: I wouldn't trust Andy around the oh.
[00:30:14] Speaker B: And their names are up front. It's not even know. Raymond. Deborah. Children. It's children.
Deborah Raymond.
[00:30:23] Speaker C: It is, definitely. And the other person is linda and Bernie get one. And Gail, do you remember who gale.
[00:30:32] Speaker B: That all the engravings are the same.
[00:30:35] Speaker C: No, not necessarily. That's true. But do we really see Oprah's friend? Yeah, Gail.
Because they were trying to get on the favorite things.
[00:30:45] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:30:46] Speaker B: Oh, wait, hold on, guys. It looks like Spike is waking up.
[00:30:49] Speaker A: Spike?
Spike.
[00:30:53] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:30:57] Speaker A: We discovered I think you misspelled Debra. You used the biblical spelling. We were supposed to use the Raymond spelling.
[00:31:04] Speaker B: He's a very religious man.
[00:31:05] Speaker C: I'm sorry, Spike, I think we're going to have to let you go, unfortunately.
[00:31:12] Speaker A: Go where?
[00:31:13] Speaker C: Well, wherever Dennis went. Wherever you people go when you're oh.
[00:31:16] Speaker B: Please don't send him to go with Dennis. Spike, here's the keys to the car. Just go sit in a car. You could turn the AC on and listen to your tapes.
[00:31:23] Speaker C: My tapes?
[00:31:25] Speaker D: Can I have a treat?
[00:31:27] Speaker B: Sure.
You've heard.
[00:31:29] Speaker C: Fascinating.
Is this some sort know S M relationship?
[00:31:36] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:31:36] Speaker C: Lolita, I really want to know you are fascinated.
[00:31:40] Speaker A: I really want to know more about your relationship with both Spike and Dennis. Primarily spike at this point.
[00:31:47] Speaker B: I think my relationship with Spike I can best describe because he is a wildly intelligent man, but the whole public. Play thing that we do. I'd call it like platonic GIMP.
[00:32:02] Speaker D: Okay, I didn't realize that was coming back in fashion.
[00:32:06] Speaker C: That might be a good title for an episode of something, but Lolita, you can fix Mike's cheek, right?
[00:32:15] Speaker B: Well, we have already established that I'm not very good at the COVID You.
[00:32:19] Speaker C: Can change it, at least.
[00:32:21] Speaker B: Yeah, I will do my best. Maybe we'll turn it into one little bird.
[00:32:24] Speaker C: We cut outside to the parking lot where Spike is listening to his tapes and Dennis sees him. Dennis has been sitting shirtless on the curb across the street from the parking lot. Fuming. And Spike is listening to his tapes. And the theory of relativity says that spacetime can be warped by the presence of Mass.
[00:32:48] Speaker A: You see Dennis mass church like, you.
[00:32:55] Speaker C: Know Dennis about relativity.
[00:32:57] Speaker A: Did you know that Einstein did the theory of relativity in 1915? Is that it was before the start.
[00:33:03] Speaker C: Of the World War II, 15 before.
[00:33:05] Speaker A: The start of Dennis.
[00:33:06] Speaker D: Dennis, you don't why why'd you put on your invisible shirt?
[00:33:10] Speaker A: I don't like it.
Listen, Spec, you got to let me in the car. You got to do it for me.
[00:33:18] Speaker C: The thing to know about Einstein is.
[00:33:20] Speaker D: That he I wasn't told that I could do that. I was told to listen.
[00:33:24] Speaker A: Come on.
[00:33:24] Speaker D: I'm going to listen.
[00:33:25] Speaker A: Spike, when have I ever let you wrong? Dentist come on, buddy, said Mr. Back.
[00:33:30] Speaker C: Homestein back home warp my space time.
[00:33:33] Speaker A: Any spacetime father can't hurt me anymore.
Listen, I'm jealous of you, all right? I'm jealous of the time that you spend. Oh, come on, man.
There we.
[00:33:55] Speaker C: Maybe not. Said Robert Oppenheimer, when that body.
[00:34:01] Speaker A: Hold.
[00:34:02] Speaker C: On, can I see the script, Terrence?
[00:34:06] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:34:06] Speaker C: Said Robert Oppenheimer, when he put that body in motion, it stayed in motion. Is that a real quote?
[00:34:15] Speaker A: Fuck NPR.
[00:34:17] Speaker B: And then my relationship with Dennis yes. Is he's just my no good, dirty rotten, pig stealing cousin?
[00:34:26] Speaker C: He's your cousin?
[00:34:27] Speaker D: Oh, he is your cousin.
[00:34:28] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:34:29] Speaker C: There's okay.
[00:34:31] Speaker D: Oh, that's not the type of how.
[00:34:32] Speaker C: Are you cousins by hear about how are you cousins?
[00:34:38] Speaker B: Cousins in the way that my mom's best friend growing up, who I always call my auntie.
Dennis is his daughter's fiance third cousin, I believe. Twice.
[00:34:56] Speaker D: This is a really special connection that's been getting kind of testy, you know?
[00:35:02] Speaker B: It's a real close relation. He and you know, mom's best friends, auntie's third cousins, twice. Removes kid.
[00:35:09] Speaker C: Were you that family that opened up without realizing it? Two tattoo parlors? Right?
[00:35:17] Speaker B: Opened up without realizing it, two tattoo parlors?
[00:35:19] Speaker C: Yeah. Right next to each other in South Limbrook.
[00:35:23] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:35:24] Speaker C: Okay, I think I read about that at the time. It's like a three identical strangers kind of thing. It was weird that they used that metaphor because this was back in the.
[00:35:32] Speaker D: 80S, but it was like identical twins, but with buildings. It was crazy.
[00:35:36] Speaker B: Yeah.
You just never know what mom's best friend's, fiance's, third cousin twice removed. Kids pool boy is going to do.
[00:35:46] Speaker C: I think if know lay out all of the templates, then we'll be hold on, I'm getting a call. Hi. This is Anna's Tattoo. Paula. How can I help.
[00:36:02] Speaker A: You? You son of a bitch.
[00:36:05] Speaker C: Dennis, did your mom let you on the phone again?
[00:36:09] Speaker A: Listen, you don't understand.
You don't understand. First of all, Auntie Anna, you should know did you know that Anastasia probably did die in the Bolshevik Revolution? I don't know if that was ever clear. Made clear? But the movie lied. She never escaped. They found a bones later on. It was a huge scam.
[00:36:33] Speaker C: I'm sorry, dear, I had the phone away from no, what were you saying?
[00:36:37] Speaker A: Hold on.
[00:36:38] Speaker C: Sorry, I was talking to a customer.
[00:36:39] Speaker A: Look across the street. Look across the street.
[00:36:43] Speaker C: Yeah, I see the Village Voice and the Payphone and what is that, pale? Yeah, that's right.
Are you sitting across Katalpa from me?
[00:36:56] Speaker A: You know it, Auntie Anna. I'm sitting on Katalpa here.
[00:37:00] Speaker C: What would you be doing across the street? What are you sitting in front of?
[00:37:03] Speaker A: I'm sitting in front of your worst nightmare. Dennis pulls the string and a tarp.
Auntie Anna's, pool boy's best friend's tattoo parlor. What was the relationship exactly? I forget. Fuck it. Dennis's mom's tattoo parlor.
[00:37:29] Speaker C: Oh my God. I cannot believe she would do this.
[00:37:34] Speaker A: This is we're coming for you, bitch.
[00:37:39] Speaker C: Dennis, look, I'm going to put Lolita on. I need to talk to your mother.
[00:37:45] Speaker A: You got to do what?
[00:37:46] Speaker C: I'm going to put Lolita on the phone.
[00:37:49] Speaker A: Hold on. Okay.
[00:37:53] Speaker C: Why are you taking your shirt off? What are you doing? Or did you already have your shirt off?
You took your second shirt off?
[00:37:59] Speaker A: You don't understand, I get sweaty. No, this is my invisible my invisible shirt.
[00:38:03] Speaker C: Okay, yeah, I'm giving you the phone. Here you go, dear. I have to go yell at your auntie.
[00:38:09] Speaker A: Hey, Lolita.
[00:38:10] Speaker B: Sorry guys, I gotta take oh, that's okay. Hey, who is this?
[00:38:16] Speaker A: Hey, Lolita, it's Dennis.
[00:38:18] Speaker B: What the fuck are you calling?
[00:38:22] Speaker A: Uh, we got the new tattoo, Paul. I just thought that I'd call you and let you know.
[00:38:28] Speaker C: Sounds like a pretty intense conversation. Hey, what are you getting? I'm getting Einstein's tongue, like on the side of my rear as sort of like a fun thing, like he's I'm.
[00:38:42] Speaker D: Getting Einstein's tongue on my tongue.
[00:38:45] Speaker B: Oh, hey, maybe look, Dennis, I really don't have time for this. I'm tattooing Einstein licking this guy's ass.
[00:38:51] Speaker A: Right?
That's that's do you do Einstein's ass licking tongue? Better than classic. It's classic. Yeah.
[00:39:00] Speaker B: Everybody knows I could do original work. Wonderfully. But if you ask me to cover something up, it's probably just going to be a bird.
[00:39:06] Speaker C: Sweetheart, I'm looking in the mirror.
[00:39:08] Speaker B: Fucking call me that, dear.
[00:39:11] Speaker C: I'm looking in the mirror that is positioned so that I can see my ass.
And it looks like you've turned Einstein around the wrong way. It just looks like he's licking the side of my ass exterior. That's not going to work.
[00:39:28] Speaker B: Can you fix figured that.
[00:39:34] Speaker A: If this.
[00:39:34] Speaker B: Were really just an intimate moment between you and Einstein okay, you couldn't even tell it was Einstein because he would just be like whole face deep in the asshole.
[00:39:43] Speaker C: I could tell.
[00:39:43] Speaker B: But if you think of it as like a performance, like if this were like a pornography or something, okay, he would do like a little three quarter. Know, like when you see cartoon characters and they're talking and they should be in profile, but they're really in three quarter so you can see the whole faces. He would be like out the side of his mouth so you could see his face while he's also eating.
[00:40:06] Speaker C: Yeah, you don't have to explain that to me. I was fired from Hannah Barbera for drawing exactly that.
[00:40:12] Speaker A: You see Dennis outside of the phone in one ear. He's furiously writing notes on a notepad.
[00:40:21] Speaker C: So yeah, it sounds like an interesting relationship between the three of you.
[00:40:25] Speaker B: Yeah, you just never know what you're going to get from your mother's best friend's, fiance's, third cousin twice removed, kids, pool boys, great aunt's nephew.
[00:40:37] Speaker C: I guess not.
[00:40:38] Speaker D: Don't we all?
[00:40:38] Speaker C: I mean, here's one thing I know that you can get from him is a shit tattoo.
So I'm glad we kicked.
[00:40:45] Speaker D: I asked for the best tattoo parlor.
[00:40:47] Speaker C: I'll take the blame. I accidentally sorted low to high instead of high to low on.
[00:40:51] Speaker D: I asked for the best tattoo parlor in all of the did you got.
[00:40:59] Speaker B: The best tattoo parlor in all of Lynbrook. But the thing is, it's like an average thing. So like Dennis is ass.
What about no, no, he is ass. And then I'm pretty good. And then Spike is like a god amongst men.
So on average we're one of the best in Lynbrook.
[00:41:21] Speaker C: I didn't realize you were all in the same parlor. I mean, I hired each of you on a contract basis. What a coincidence.
[00:41:29] Speaker B: Oh yeah, that's how those contracts work in the oh, OK.
[00:41:32] Speaker D: So it's really the illusion of where they recommend the next person in their parlor to you after you hire them.
[00:41:40] Speaker C: Kind of like a multilevel marketing kind of chain thing. Like a little chain. Speaking of the little chains, can I take the clamps off now?
[00:41:49] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, go ahead. That was really just for me. It was like a mental well, it.
[00:41:52] Speaker C: Was worth the 599.
[00:41:54] Speaker B: Once they told me that I couldn't tattoo people's assholes anymore, I needed to find somewhere else.
[00:41:58] Speaker C: Who told you that?
[00:42:00] Speaker B: They did. Just like generally people were like, hey Lolita. Hey Kathy. Stop tattooing people's assholes. We think it's a little weird.
[00:42:07] Speaker C: Did this come from the city government? Because we can take that back, right, Alex?
[00:42:11] Speaker D: Yeah, I want a dream catcher right in the middle.
[00:42:15] Speaker C: Alex, you already have a dream catcher right in the middle, but do you want someone to draw something on it?
[00:42:20] Speaker A: Guys, I'm actually looking through the files right here. We have specifically a department for the department against asshole tattoos.
[00:42:28] Speaker C: We can just disband to Alex. Can you make me take away my other thing? Because we're not going to do anything with it. Can you make me in charge of the department of asshole tattoos? I mean, against Asshole tattoos, and I'll turn it into the department of Asshole tattoos?
[00:42:44] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:42:45] Speaker C: Okay. Sign here. Sure, sign.
Okay, I'm going to go downstairs. I'll be right back.
[00:42:51] Speaker D: I don't even write my name anymore. I just draw like a penis.
[00:42:54] Speaker C: Knock, knock. Hello, new boss. Hello, new boss.
[00:42:59] Speaker A: Hey there. How you doing?
[00:43:01] Speaker C: Hi, I'm your new boss. My name is Adam. I'm in charge of the Department against asshole tattoos. Is that what it's called?
[00:43:07] Speaker A: Oh, fantastic. Yeah. Come on in. I'm Lewis. Pleasure to meet you.
[00:43:10] Speaker C: Hey, Lewis.
[00:43:12] Speaker D: I'm Paul.
[00:43:12] Speaker C: I'm Paul.
[00:43:13] Speaker D: Have an asshole.
[00:43:14] Speaker C: Thank you.
[00:43:15] Speaker A: Oh, you'll notice this asshole's tattoo free.
[00:43:17] Speaker C: This is a pencil sharpener in the shape of erectum. This is great.
[00:43:21] Speaker A: We have fun here in the you.
[00:43:23] Speaker C: Have a lot of, like, based paraphernalia.
[00:43:26] Speaker A: Such as well, you got the famous this is the one that everybody loves to see. We love to see the asshole pencil sharpener, but over here we got the asshole air fresheners.
[00:43:37] Speaker C: Over here we got fun. That's really fun.
[00:43:39] Speaker A: It's a good one. It's a good one, isn't it? It's a great one.
[00:43:42] Speaker C: I like that.
[00:43:42] Speaker A: We got the asshole hole punchers.
[00:43:44] Speaker C: Hole punchers.
[00:43:45] Speaker D: The asshole here's the stress ass.
[00:43:47] Speaker C: Yeah, that's yeah.
[00:43:49] Speaker A: And then of course, we got Derek. He's just an asshole.
[00:43:52] Speaker C: Oh, that's fun.
Derek coming on.
[00:43:58] Speaker D: What are we going to do with Derek?
[00:43:59] Speaker C: How did you shape like assholes? You got that megaphone through the metal detector. I guess it kind of looks like an asshole.
[00:44:07] Speaker A: It kind of does.
[00:44:17] Speaker C: Not catch all of that, but it's great to meet all of you.
I'm going to be in charge from now on. The mayor made me in charge.
[00:44:27] Speaker A: Okay.
That would be me. I guess I'm being demoted.
[00:44:32] Speaker C: You're being put in the same place. The organizational hierarchy is changing around you. Now, I am directly supervising your work, and I have the power to hire and fire people and to change the mission statement of the office.
[00:44:46] Speaker A: Oh, fantastic.
[00:44:47] Speaker B: You can't fire me. It's in the constitution of the city.
[00:44:51] Speaker A: It is in there. Clause 15 says Derek has a job.
[00:44:54] Speaker D: And he could be an asshole.
[00:44:56] Speaker C: That is true.
We're going to have to rush an amendment through. In the meantime, I think I kind of want to change the direction of this place. How do you mean?
[00:45:05] Speaker A: So far we got protesters. We got cease and desist letters. Do you want to make it a little more fun? What are you thinking? We have casual Fridays.
[00:45:15] Speaker C: I'm new.
Three questions.
[00:45:19] Speaker A: Sure.
[00:45:19] Speaker C: Protesters?
[00:45:21] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:45:21] Speaker C: Are they on our behalf.
[00:45:23] Speaker D: That is it's pronounced prostators.
[00:45:27] Speaker C: Sorry, it's my Dyslexia kicking in.
Oh, you're dyslexic too. Hey, wait, were you in Mrs. Robertson's class in fourth grade?
[00:45:40] Speaker B: Oh.
[00:45:40] Speaker A: Hachindo. Oh, hey. Adam. That's right. I remember you.
[00:45:44] Speaker C: Lewis. You were the exchange student from Manitoba.
[00:45:46] Speaker A: That's me.
[00:45:48] Speaker C: Right. And why did you you were witness protection?
[00:45:54] Speaker D: Well, witness emphasis on the nas.
[00:45:57] Speaker A: Yeah, I was chosen for this job from a very young age.
[00:46:00] Speaker C: Okay, class, we have a very special new member of our family here today. He is from Canada. OOH.
And I think specifically from Winnipeg. He's a participant in the witness sorry. Witness protection program. So nobody tell their parents that he's here. This is Lewis. Lewis, why don't you say hi to everybody?
[00:46:29] Speaker A: Hey, everybody.
[00:46:30] Speaker C: Hello.
[00:46:31] Speaker A: I'm Lewis.
I was told not to tell anybody about the witness protection or people would come and hurt me. So, I hope. Yes. Excuse me, sir. Yes? Are you in the hi. Hi.
[00:46:45] Speaker B: My daddy says that Canada is full of a bunch of commie bastards and that your prime minister hates America. Is that true?
[00:46:52] Speaker A: I don't know what a commie is. I'm six.
[00:46:58] Speaker C: This is something you're going to have to get used to here in America, is we really start talking about civics young, so everyone has a really good idea of where they fall on the political spectrum. Great teacher.
Yes.
[00:47:13] Speaker D: Derek stole my megaphone.
[00:47:15] Speaker C: Okay. And how does that make you feel, derek, how does that make you feel? It makes me feel uncomfortable.
[00:47:23] Speaker A: I feel like I'm going to be dealing with this for the rest of my life.
I have the mega ball. Daddy hit puberty.
[00:47:32] Speaker C: That's probably not going to become a prop. That's probably going to be fine.
[00:47:36] Speaker A: America's weird.
[00:47:37] Speaker C: Question two, actually, question one was not answered. Prostaters.
Are they advocating on our behalf?
[00:47:46] Speaker A: Yeah. No. We send a whole big group, specifically Derek with the Megaphone and like, three.
[00:47:50] Speaker C: People that are oh, that makes sense now.
[00:47:52] Speaker A: That hang out in the office. We send them to places that we find doing the asshole modifications. And we just decided to we just really make it a big plus for him. It's a great time.
[00:48:01] Speaker C: Oh, I do it on a Friday.
[00:48:03] Speaker A: Fun way to close out the week.
[00:48:04] Speaker C: Casual.
[00:48:05] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:48:06] Speaker C: So this is news to me. I thought we were just anti tattooing. We're against all asshole modifications.
[00:48:13] Speaker A: That's correct.
[00:48:14] Speaker C: Okay. Can you give me something? So obviously we've got bigger, smaller and depth.
[00:48:21] Speaker A: Depth, yeah.
That would qualify anything. That changes it, really. That's where we go.
[00:48:28] Speaker C: What is the most sorry.
[00:48:30] Speaker D: Rings.
[00:48:31] Speaker C: Rings.
[00:48:31] Speaker D: Piercings.
[00:48:33] Speaker C: Okay, I thought you meant, like, rings around a tree trunk.
[00:48:36] Speaker A: Well, those pictures, sometimes they like to.
[00:48:38] Speaker D: Get it pierced shut.
[00:48:43] Speaker A: That's one that Derek a little bit more concerned about than the rest of us. But yeah, there was one guy that was really interested in that a very long time ago, and it really pissed Derek off.
[00:48:53] Speaker C: And what was the reasoning there? What was his argument for permanently open?
Well, granted, short, but that's it.
[00:49:06] Speaker B: It turned him into a weird little duck. Then. You know, ducks don't have the vendors, so the shit just falls out of their assholes. They don't even know what's coming.
[00:49:15] Speaker C: I actually did hear that from my tattoo artist, Dennis.
[00:49:19] Speaker B: That's my brother.
[00:49:21] Speaker C: Really?
[00:49:22] Speaker D: Oh, wow.
[00:49:23] Speaker C: Oh, so you must have grown up in that tattoo parlor that we don't have to talk about that now.
Question two.
[00:49:30] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, we've been doing this. That's right.
[00:49:32] Speaker C: Did you say, like, flyers and pamphleting? Was that oh, cease and desist. Right.
[00:49:36] Speaker A: Cease and desist letters? Yes. So we make it clear with the protesters and the prosecutors that what they're doing is illegal. But if they refuse, we got our lawyer online and we send it to them. We send them a letter letting them.
[00:49:50] Speaker D: Know, I knew I forgot to do something today.
[00:49:53] Speaker A: Oh, you forgot to cease and desist? Yeah. Oh, man. It's going to be a whole other week.
[00:49:59] Speaker C: This is a pretty good downward dog. It's going to be a little if you can get the hips lower.
Okay. And I'm just going to get the winch out, and hopefully we'll be able to dilate it enough that we'll be able to make the modifications. So do you have any questions before I get started?
[00:50:17] Speaker B: No, I'm just so excited.
[00:50:19] Speaker C: Okay. I thought they were I've been trying.
[00:50:20] Speaker B: To get this done forever.
[00:50:22] Speaker C: Okay, good. Yeah, no, I'm excited for you. This is my first time doing it. I've done other stuff. Don't worry. I'm not, like, inexperienced or anything. This is just a new procedure.
[00:50:30] Speaker B: Just crank that baby wide open.
[00:50:33] Speaker C: We'll do. Okay, good.
This is good. Usually it's 1245. If they haven't served us by now, then they're not going to serve us. Usually until the end of the week with the cease and desist. Hold on, someone's knocking.
Go away, please. Okay. Crank, crank, crank, crank, crank, crank, crank, crank, crank, crank, crank, crank.
[00:50:56] Speaker A: It's too late.
[00:50:57] Speaker C: The dam is open. I've got to get it as wide thank you for bringing your own school gym parachute for size reference. I've got to get it that wide.
[00:51:08] Speaker B: Just keep going, going.
[00:51:09] Speaker A: Go away. The portal. Oh, my God. I need something to bite.
Shut the fuck up.
[00:51:15] Speaker C: We're doing this. I can't hear you. I'm being enveloped. It's like one of those anechoic chambers where you can hear your heart beating. This is incredible.
Oh, no, I'm getting sucked inside.
[00:51:27] Speaker A: Cut back. Put back.
[00:51:33] Speaker C: Question three.
[00:51:34] Speaker A: We lost another one today, boys. Oh, we're still going for question three. Okay. All right.
[00:51:38] Speaker C: Do you mind if we just change everything and do the opposite of what we've been doing and be pro?
[00:51:44] Speaker D: Yeah, sure.
[00:51:45] Speaker C: Okay. On board.
That's one I never really thought about.
[00:51:49] Speaker A: It. Like encouraging the tattoos instead of discouraging them.
[00:51:53] Speaker C: Oh, yes, encouraging very heavily. Let's just say the mayor has a vested interest in making sure that the ass tattooers of Lynbrook are satisfied.
[00:52:05] Speaker B: No.
[00:52:06] Speaker A: Really? Derek?
[00:52:08] Speaker C: You're against?
[00:52:09] Speaker B: No.
Last time we let this happen, my partner, he got sucked into somebody's asshole that was the size of a middle school parachute email. Right.
[00:52:21] Speaker C: You guys are operating on a partner system?
[00:52:23] Speaker B: No, I mean oh, your romantic partner. Yeah. No, not like a police thing or anything.
[00:52:30] Speaker C: I know you're serious because you've turned your megaphone off and are just whispering very low, very close to us now. We're all leaning in.
[00:52:38] Speaker B: I need to just get right in here to where you can feel on my breath yes, in your ear.
[00:52:44] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:52:45] Speaker C: But probably doing something for someone who's listening.
[00:52:49] Speaker B: The man I loved fell into somebody's asshole because nobody.
[00:52:57] Speaker C: I just started thinking, you suck, dude. I need to be transparent with you guys. I have a wireless mic on. We're recording, you know, the podcast that we do from here, everybody Loves, Everybody Loves Raymond. So I was just thinking about maybe somebody is if we don't edit this out, which I hope we will, thinking about somebody listening to this and getting, like, ASMR tingles to you, Derek, describing somebody getting sucked into somebody else's asshole.
[00:53:19] Speaker B: This isn't a fucking joke, you guys. Man, I love fell into somebody's asshole, and I haven't seen him in two years.
[00:53:26] Speaker A: Derek, I'm very sorry. Here. I'm sorry. I know your attachment to your partner there. I didn't consider how this was bad. Could we possibly just change the law slightly so that we discourage the parachuting?
[00:53:43] Speaker C: But we encourage yes. We can include a parachuting clause.
[00:53:49] Speaker A: Yeah, like an anti parachute clause, I think.
[00:53:51] Speaker C: Yes. And to be clear hold up. Parachuting, not parachuting.
[00:53:57] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:53:58] Speaker B: Waiting to name it after him. The Chet anti parachuting law. It'll be his legacy.
[00:54:05] Speaker C: The anti Chet parachuting law? No parachuting.
[00:54:08] Speaker B: No. Chet anti parachuting. It's not anti chat. It's for chat.
[00:54:13] Speaker D: For the Chets by the person who loved Chat.
[00:54:15] Speaker C: Okay. Do you want to be present at the signing?
[00:54:18] Speaker B: I would love to.
[00:54:19] Speaker C: Okay. I think we have a quorum then. What we're going to do is we're going to change the law to where you can get an asshole tattoo, but you cannot, under no circumstances, go parachuting.
[00:54:34] Speaker D: So what was up with that?
[00:54:36] Speaker A: Didn't, like listen, I think Schneider brought up a very good point. This is a weird gift to give to friends and stuff.
[00:54:44] Speaker B: It's just a weird gift, period. It's not a good you know, if you did an engraving on a decorative plate or something, something that's, like, not used.
[00:54:59] Speaker D: Something you hang up.
[00:55:00] Speaker B: Yeah. Not like a toaster. Toaster.
[00:55:04] Speaker A: Do you think it's one of those where it's like you put in the bread, you pop it and it toasts in the autograph?
[00:55:13] Speaker D: No way. That was engraved on the outside.
[00:55:16] Speaker B: Honest to God. I thought when watching the episode because of just how dumb I thought the gift was. That when Deborah's parents were really just like, oh, my, this I love.
[00:55:31] Speaker A: Duh.
[00:55:32] Speaker B: I thought the thread of the episode was going to be that Debra tipped them off that Ray was feeling self conscious about the gift and told them to sell it and they hammed it up too much and he was going to catch them. Genuinely, I couldn't believe that anybody was that excited about a toaster.
[00:55:50] Speaker A: Genuinely. I think that would have been a better version of this that could have.
[00:55:55] Speaker D: Happened and he may just not have realized.
[00:55:57] Speaker C: Hey, guys. Oh, God, that was a successful meeting down there. Let me back into my squat. You know what I was thinking on my way back up here is like, I really did think you remember the scene where we were in Warren and Lois's house and they were receiving the toaster?
[00:56:11] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, we were just talking about that, actually.
[00:56:13] Speaker C: Oh, do you also feel like they were did you suspect at first that they were faking it? Like, Lois being like, oh, my God, it's so retro chic. And Warren being like, look at that chrome. Like, it did seem very put it on display.
[00:56:29] Speaker B: They didn't even put it in the kitchen. They said it on the banister.
[00:56:31] Speaker D: I kind of buy it because they're like ritzy art people.
[00:56:34] Speaker C: That's true.
[00:56:35] Speaker D: So they would get excited about a toaster if they like how it's structured the composition.
[00:56:42] Speaker B: That's how I thought it was going to go, though, until Robert showed up. And he also loved it, which, by.
[00:56:49] Speaker A: The way, can we talk about that? Who just shows up because they're passing by on Christmas Day to your brother's in law's house?
That just seemed a little weird.
[00:57:03] Speaker D: Family.
[00:57:04] Speaker C: And to bring your we don't know what their relationship is. It seems pretty casual to bring but.
[00:57:14] Speaker B: Yeah, he's already a degree removed because he's Deborah's brother in law.
[00:57:19] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:57:20] Speaker C: And then showed up with his date.
Their decorations in their house, their aesthetic seemed very late 90s specific. Like, this is hip furniture. It reminded me of you remember in Friends when Joey moves out of his apartment with Chandler and gets, like, with the ceramic dog and everything?
I've never seen okay, well, he moves into a place that looks kind of like this.
[00:57:49] Speaker B: Yeah, I know what you're talking about.
[00:57:51] Speaker C: So I'm not a fan, honestly. I would rather live well, no, it's not true. I was going to say I'd rather live in Ray and Deborah's house, but Ray and Deborah's house sucks. Does it rather live in Robert's apartment?
[00:58:00] Speaker B: Robert's, Ray and Deborah's house is just like a suburban home.
[00:58:03] Speaker C: Exactly.
[00:58:04] Speaker A: Yeah, but it's across the street from Marie.
[00:58:05] Speaker C: Yeah. That drives it.
[00:58:06] Speaker B: I didn't think we were like when he said, I'd rather live in Ray and Deborah's house. Like, that included being in universe.
[00:58:13] Speaker C: Yeah, no, it does. I don't think I would get along with Frank. I don't think we would gel well.
[00:58:18] Speaker B: Oh, so because you mentioned Frank I also do need to comment that in this episode similar to how I pointed out that I felt it was the epitome of Rey to the point of parody.
Frank, similarly, was just like so much of quasi abusive dickhead.
[00:58:42] Speaker C: Oh, yeah.
[00:58:43] Speaker B: And there have been episodes with a lot of Frank where he gets off his one liners. He's kind of an ass, but it's fun. Whatever. Like this one. I'm just like, Frank, you're a piece of shit.
Nobody came across as likable.
[00:59:00] Speaker C: I don't know.
[00:59:01] Speaker B: To the point of.
[00:59:04] Speaker A: Think Robert did.
[00:59:05] Speaker B: Two and a half.
[00:59:06] Speaker A: I don't think Robert did too bad this episode.
[00:59:08] Speaker D: He was fine.
[00:59:09] Speaker C: I had one thing with Robert that I was not a fan of, but just to stay on Frank for a second frank did seem to start in a weird place in this episode because we established on Christmas. On Christmas, Marie and Frank had the subtitle said testlas. But it sounded like Tessas to me. They had some friends over and they sang songs, drank amaretto. Your father was wonderful. She tells Ray, and Frank danced with a trash can. And then when we go over good setup. Yes. And then we go over with your mother. Yeah. To Frank hung over at the kitchen table. He's like, I danced with your mother last night. Ray says, I thought it was a trash can. He says, I traded up to the trash can, or something like that.
[00:59:59] Speaker D: I honestly think it would have been better if it just see if he just said, I danced with your mother and that's it.
[01:00:05] Speaker C: That's what I thought it was going for. As mean. Both ways are very mean. But I think you're right, Schneider, that it is a particularly cruel Frank episode.
[01:00:17] Speaker B: Yeah. Especially like, once they were in the Bloomingdale. True how he was just, like, telling Marie to shut up.
[01:00:24] Speaker C: Lock it up.
[01:00:25] Speaker B: Marie, just like be quiet. Lock it up. Yeah, like very straight out of a 1950s movie. Like old Sean Connery flick. Kind of.
[01:00:39] Speaker C: Yeah. Or later days. Misogyny later days. Real life sean Connery.
[01:00:44] Speaker B: Genuinely actually, whole life Sean Connery.
[01:00:48] Speaker A: I was going to say it's genuinely pretty generous to give Frank the Sean Connery moniker there. But.
[01:00:59] Speaker B: Not in terms of acting ability. In terms of how he appears to be treating women.
[01:01:03] Speaker C: You know what? I would like to get a woman's perspective on how Frank was treating women. Lolita, I know you're working over there. You've got your Palm Pilot out but do you have any thoughts on how Frank treated Marie in this episode?
[01:01:17] Speaker B: He reminds me of my Uncle Bobby, and that guy's an asshole.
[01:01:20] Speaker C: Really?
[01:01:21] Speaker B: Yeah. It's just like Joseph said. There has been some other episodes where he was, like, playful. He was just kind of teasing. Like the episode where his dick doesn't work.
[01:01:34] Speaker C: I don't think we've not gotten to that one yet.
[01:01:37] Speaker A: Okay.
[01:01:37] Speaker B: I don't remember what season that is, but his dick stops working and he gets the little blue pill. And then at the end of the episode, marie and Frank are both trying to talk to their kids. I'm sorry, I know this isn't season three, episode twelve, but it's just a better example of how Frank can be written. So they keep trying to talk to Raymond and Robbie about their sex life and stuff, and they're just like, you. I don't want to hear you.
My parents. You guys don't have sex. You only had sex twice. And it's when you conceived us.
[01:02:09] Speaker C: I do remember that line.
[01:02:10] Speaker B: But, like, at the end of the episode, they reconcile and they're just like, yeah, we bone. And you just got to get used to that. But Marie goes and hugs Frank, and she goes like, oh, are those the pills? Are you happy to see me? And then Frank pulls the pills out of his pocket and goes, Those are the so, like, that's funny. He's teasing.
He's it's from a place of love. This episode, it felt very unloving.
[01:02:35] Speaker C: I know now where I recognize you from. You did those local commercials for Cialis, right?
[01:02:43] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:02:44] Speaker C: Where you held up the bottle and you looked at the camera and winked and said, Those are the pills.
[01:02:49] Speaker A: Yes.
[01:02:49] Speaker B: Helped me work my way through tattoo school.
[01:02:51] Speaker C: Really?
It did seem heavily inspired by the Orbit gum commercials from the early 2010s.
[01:02:59] Speaker B: We actually received a cease and desist letter from that lady.
[01:03:02] Speaker C: Right. We cut back to that advertising office. Guys, get in here.
Did we film a commercial where we were, quote, parachuting assholes? I don't remember that.
[01:03:15] Speaker D: We were hang gliding nipples.
[01:03:17] Speaker A: No, that was October 72.
[01:03:19] Speaker C: Yeah, costa Rica was very happy with that.
[01:03:22] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:03:24] Speaker D: No parachuting asshole.
[01:03:25] Speaker C: Okay, who was the previous tenant of this building? Because I think we got some of their mail here. Let's talk about, if you don't mind, the scene of Marie and Frank in Bloomingdale's. I mean, him being an asshole. Sorry, him being a dick. Besides to the side. I did like his sort of acting turn. Peter Boyle's acting in this episode, going from lock it up, Marie, to hello, and a Merry Christmas to you. May our Lord and Savior bestow many blessings upon you and your loved ones.
I'm Jewish.
[01:04:02] Speaker A: That's a good line.
[01:04:03] Speaker C: Do you want me to tell you about the returns?
[01:04:06] Speaker A: Did you do a deep dive on the Bloomingdales lady?
[01:04:09] Speaker C: Okay, so we've got the cashier returns lady. She is played by Patricia Bethune, I'm assuming is how that's pronounced. But she's credited in this as PB. Hutton. She's a big deal. She was a Daytime Emmy winner for her role as, quote, evil nurse Mary Pat on General Hospital, and she was also on Mad Men and True Blood. She's guest starred on just about every sitcom and procedural you can think of from 1995 to present. She's still working today.
Interesting about her credit. She was credited as P. B. Hutton up until an episode of Gilmore Girls in 2003 when she started going by Patricia Bethune. Her first credit under that name was a TV movie called Species Three. I don't know what happens in one, two, possibly four. That's patricia bethune.
[01:05:01] Speaker A: All right.
Okay, so first of all, Patricia did a very good job. I will say the negotiation tactics were very funny. I also just genuinely thought, okay, I want to back up a minute because I know we got to get to the other guy that was in an argument with Frank. I know we got to get to him. Hamilton but before we get to him, what is in your mind the return etiquette on Christmas gifts?
[01:05:30] Speaker C: Oh, that's a very topical question, Mike. You get prepared.
[01:05:36] Speaker B: I say if they include a gift receipt, you have the green light.
[01:05:41] Speaker A: Okay.
[01:05:42] Speaker B: Otherwise, don't.
[01:05:43] Speaker A: Okay. What if I hate it?
[01:05:46] Speaker D: Keep it. Just put it in a closet?
[01:05:48] Speaker C: Yeah.
[01:05:49] Speaker A: Can I throw it away?
[01:05:50] Speaker C: You can regift it.
[01:05:52] Speaker A: Okay. So here's the thing, right? Here's the thing.
Christmas is the 25th. You have to hold on to non I agree with Schneider over here. You got to hold on to non gift receipt items until the new year. Right? Gift receipt your fair game. You got to hold on till at least the new year. But if I have a gift I hate and February or March rolls around, is it still impolite for me to toss that thing?
[01:06:20] Speaker C: Toss or give it to someone else or sell it on any of the important it depends on the item. Did somebody give you a Lexus with a big red bow on it? Because that'd be pretty conspicuous if you stopped driving it in.
[01:06:35] Speaker A: Lexus is a terrible car. I don't know.
[01:06:37] Speaker B: I don't think I've ever gotten a Christmas gift that was so bad that I was like, I need to be rid of this.
[01:06:45] Speaker A: I have occasionally gotten Christmas gifts that I'll be like, oh, that's okay. And then years later, I'm clearing out my closet, and I'm like, oh, there's that rogue that I got that one time.
[01:06:56] Speaker B: Well, you guys aren't going to believe this, but one year, my ex fiance Bobby want to hear about relation to my Uncle Bobby? He got me.
[01:07:04] Speaker C: Hear that, Alex?
[01:07:05] Speaker B: An engraved toaster.
[01:07:07] Speaker C: What? Just like in this episode?
[01:07:09] Speaker B: Yeah, just like season three, episode twelve of Everybody Loves Raymond.
[01:07:13] Speaker A: The toaster. The toaster.
[01:07:14] Speaker B: He got me an engraved toaster.
[01:07:17] Speaker C: What was on it?
[01:07:18] Speaker B: And, you know, it felt weird. It felt weird I didn't return it, but I did know it says Christmas on it because it know, Merry Christmas to our happily ever after. Didn't work after, you know, maybe a week or two when we took the tree down, I put the toaster up in the cabinet, and I brought back down the regular toaster. And then Bobby was like, hey, where's the new toaster? I got I was like, well, it says Christmas on it, so I figured it's a Christmas thing. And he was just like, why would I spend so much money getting something graped if people are only going to see it one month out of the didn't? I was just like, we're the only people that live here. What do you mean? I know it exists. You know it exists. And he was just like, well, what if we have guests over? I'm like, well, then they can make toast in this toaster. It's not Christmas time. I'm not going to put the Christmas toaster out. And it was a huge fight, and that's actually why we broke up.
[01:08:08] Speaker C: Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
[01:08:11] Speaker A: That's intense. Yeah.
[01:08:12] Speaker B: So you know what? I think Frank and Marie made the right call here.
[01:08:17] Speaker A: Get rid of it immediately.
[01:08:20] Speaker B: I don't know about no, the call after that call of going back and trying getting rid of it immediately. Yeah.
[01:08:26] Speaker D: I think a good rule of thumb is if it's from your son or your mother and it seems to be kind of just like a thing, at least open it.
[01:08:37] Speaker C: Open it.
[01:08:38] Speaker D: Because sometimes but then you can't return it.
[01:08:40] Speaker C: Not necessarily.
[01:08:41] Speaker A: Okay.
[01:08:42] Speaker B: But unless you have the gift receipt, I don't think you should be returning it at all.
[01:08:47] Speaker C: That's true. Well, I mean, we know that in the episode, marie and Frank lie to Bloomingdale's and say that they got it there.
[01:08:53] Speaker B: I love how Ms. Bethune patricia.
[01:08:58] Speaker C: You said Patricia.
[01:09:00] Speaker B: Patricia. Bethune says, so why are we lying today?
[01:09:03] Speaker C: Yeah, that was a great line.
And then Marie saying they'd like a toaster and her saying, you can pick out a toaster over there. Marie being like, thank you, Shalom. And then running over to the I.
[01:09:16] Speaker B: Will say that that moment really juxtaposed in a funny but also informative way, the differences between Marie's character and Frank's character. Because Frank was being very performative with the like, may our Lord and Savior bestow his blessings upon you. I'm Jewish. Well, then all of these people must be a pain in your ass, right? It felt very like him trying. Yeah, and then Marie, she's still trying.
She was just like, oh, what's the Jewish thing to say? But it didn't feel like a performance. It felt like a just trying to be nice. Well intending, but ignorant.
[01:09:57] Speaker C: Well intentioned is definitely the phrase to describe it. Because Frank not authentic with anyone if he can avoid it. And Marie just being like, okay, I'm trying to be polite here so I can get what I want, so I'm going to do what I think is.
[01:10:13] Speaker B: I was wondering the whole time in like, I know why Frank didn't because he wanted both the coffee maker and the toaster. But Marie made up the whole shtick about how, like, oh, we want something. Maybe we could use, like, a toaster. Why couldn't you just be like, hey, we exchanged something that we didn't know was personalized and we kind of want it back.
[01:10:38] Speaker D: Well, here's the thing, right? She's feeling shame about it.
[01:10:42] Speaker C: Oh, yeah.
[01:10:43] Speaker D: She would give away a personalized gift. That's kind of why the other Grandma character came in and kind of put her in her place real quick.
[01:10:50] Speaker B: Didn't think about that.
[01:10:51] Speaker D: So that's what I would guess. The Baroness are not a family of open and healthy communication in any sense.
[01:10:57] Speaker B: You don't say.
[01:10:58] Speaker D: Speaking of why the show is so.
[01:11:00] Speaker A: Fun, the other grandma the other grandma came in and was like, can we change the names to what was it? It was June Clyde.
[01:11:09] Speaker C: It is June Harvey, Bobby. And then she's cut off by Marie.
[01:11:15] Speaker A: I will say three terrible names you.
[01:11:19] Speaker B: Just lost all viewers named June, Clyde and Bobby.
[01:11:23] Speaker A: Sorry about.
[01:11:23] Speaker C: And the Harvey toaster.
[01:11:26] Speaker A: Sorry about the Harveys.
If you're having a kid if you're having a kid, you don't name him Harvey. Harvey sounds like an old man name. I can't give Harvey a milk.
[01:11:38] Speaker D: Wrong.
[01:11:39] Speaker C: You can indeed give Harvey a milk bottle. That's how Harvey Milk got his name.
[01:11:43] Speaker A: All right. Sorry.
[01:11:45] Speaker D: Also, really great implied storytelling with the Grandma coming in and saying, like, oh, he got it printed for me. But they just got the names wrong. Like, this grandma clearly just opened the toaster, saw it, had names on it, was like, you got it engraved. And the son was like, yeah, but.
[01:12:04] Speaker B: Also, either he wasn't there, but I do like your head cannon of the idea that he was, because him taking credit yeah.
He would have to be like, oh, yeah, definitely.
[01:12:20] Speaker D: They must have gotten the names wrong. Man, I should have checked it before I wrapped it.
[01:12:24] Speaker C: He's like a parallel Protestant version of Raymond, equally craven. And I mean but that guy didn't.
[01:12:35] Speaker D: Get a special toaster. He just bought a toaster from Bloomingdale's.
[01:12:38] Speaker A: For as much I think it's a worse gift.
[01:12:40] Speaker B: I think it's a better why?
Because it has utility. It's just like, hey, here, you need a toaster. Great, now I have a toaster. I don't know. Appliances are expensive. Thank you so much. With the engraving. Now everybody's going to be fucking asking. Just like, why do you have a Christmas toaster out in July?
[01:12:58] Speaker A: It's a conversation starter.
[01:12:59] Speaker B: I don't want to have a conversation about the toaster.
[01:13:02] Speaker A: Maybe you got to make more friends.
[01:13:03] Speaker C: Every time a new person is in your kitchen. You have to explain who Michael, Jeffrey, Allie, Deborah and Ray are.
[01:13:10] Speaker A: Yes, I want an excuse to brag about my grandkids. What are you talking about?
[01:13:13] Speaker C: Speaking of, when Marie is frantically trying to prove that the toaster belongs to her, and she takes out her wallet to show pictures of Ray, here's Ray, Michael, Jeffrey and Ali. I don't have a picture of Deborah.
[01:13:27] Speaker A: Such a funny moment. Such a funny moment.
[01:13:29] Speaker B: But also, the pictures do not prove their name.
[01:13:32] Speaker C: No, absolutely not. She'd need their identification documents.
[01:13:35] Speaker B: But, you know, maybe it would have been easier for them to deal with because there was only five names. When Bobby got me that toaster, he put all 16 of his kids from his first two marriages.
[01:13:47] Speaker C: Ten and six or twelve and four or 15 and woman did he come from, like, a very religious background?
[01:14:00] Speaker B: No, it was actually octuplets followed by septuplets. Completely unplanned.
[01:14:05] Speaker C: That makes sense.
[01:14:05] Speaker B: Bobby wanted to reduce, but she was really Catholic.
[01:14:08] Speaker C: What does reduce mean? The number of children. Like, send them back, return to sender back up.
[01:14:16] Speaker B: No reduction. So, like, you know, if you get pregnant with triplets but you only want.
[01:14:20] Speaker C: Twins, I think you need to get parachute to send them back up.
[01:14:23] Speaker D: Yeah. You roll the wheel of well.
[01:14:27] Speaker C: That game show was popular for a little bit.
[01:14:31] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, let's reduce your pregnancy. It was on the game show Adjust.
[01:14:35] Speaker C: Adjust. Because you could go either direction. They could add or subtract.
And if you got the bankrupt, then CPS would come and take them all away.
[01:14:48] Speaker D: I'm sorry, there are no E's. Your children are mine.
[01:14:51] Speaker C: I don't know why Vanna did that. I think that was a bad career move for her.
[01:14:58] Speaker A: That was a rough moment.
[01:14:59] Speaker C: She wanted her own show. I just don't think this was the one. She just stayed on wheel.
[01:15:03] Speaker B: Well yeah. Sometimes when stuff comes in and you're just looking for money. Like when I was working through tattoo school. Then there were some commercials that I just thought, this is absolutely that shit saying I do not want to put my stamp of approval on this product, but at the end of the day, I needed to pay my tuition, so okay, I'm going to go ahead and read your ad copy for we cut.
[01:15:23] Speaker C: To the recording studio at the ad agency that we visited earlier. Okay. Lolita. Great stage name.
[01:15:30] Speaker B: This is a work set. And just call me Kathy.
[01:15:32] Speaker C: Kathy, of course.
Kathy, really emphasize on this one the sensation of prolapse so that the client knows so that the client and the customers know. Like this can of peanut brittle that's actually full of snakes that come out joke style. Its aim is true. It will go exactly where it is advertised to go. So you see what I'm I have it right here. So, Darnell, if you'll come over here and just squat.
Okay.
[01:16:10] Speaker A: Yeah, you got it right here. Right there. This is what we said. The focus groups, by the way, Lolita, this is not nothing. Sorry, Catherine.
[01:16:15] Speaker B: This is again, Kathy. We are sorry, Kathy.
[01:16:18] Speaker C: So you're just going to read also.
[01:16:19] Speaker B: Can I just ask if the prank peanut butter can where the snakes prolapse.
[01:16:26] Speaker C: Your asshole are FDA approved, pending you.
[01:16:31] Speaker A: Know what FDA stands for, right? Kathy? You know what FDA stands for?
[01:16:35] Speaker B: I don't want you to, but dumbasses.
[01:16:37] Speaker A: That'S what it stands for. Nobody needs the FDA.
[01:16:40] Speaker D: I thought it was fucking dead ass.
[01:16:43] Speaker C: That's the product. That's the product.
[01:16:45] Speaker A: That's what we call this other thing, okay?
[01:16:47] Speaker C: So he's going to reach down and like football center style, and pull the peanut brittle open. And as he does that, you're going to say the line. All right?
[01:17:01] Speaker B: Okay.
[01:17:01] Speaker C: Are you ready? And really telegraph, really communicate the sensation of prolapse.
[01:17:08] Speaker A: We're trusting you here, Kathy. This is a multi million dollar product, all right?
[01:17:12] Speaker C: We are almost out of space on the hard drive, so we only have space for this one take. So you need to get am.
[01:17:20] Speaker B: You have stressed, that all.
[01:17:22] Speaker C: I don't know why you didn't just.
[01:17:24] Speaker B: Get a larger draw.
[01:17:25] Speaker C: If we don't get it, we can't afford it. We can't afford it. We can't afford your scholarship that we promised you to tattoo school. Four years, full ride.
Yeah, this is pretty make or break, Cass.
[01:17:37] Speaker B: Tell me when we're live.
[01:17:38] Speaker A: We're live in 54321.
[01:17:44] Speaker B: Go pranks prolapse and everything in between. It'll give you the whoo.
[01:17:53] Speaker C: That's it.
[01:17:54] Speaker A: That's the one.
[01:17:55] Speaker D: It's pretty good.
[01:17:56] Speaker C: What? We weren't recording.
Okay. Shit. I'm sorry.
[01:18:02] Speaker B: Well, I need to wait for my asshole to go back.
[01:18:07] Speaker C: No, I mean, we've all had to struggle. I remember there was a time when we were doing this show out of a Winnebago that we were driving around town.
[01:18:16] Speaker B: You know what? Honest to God, I don't even remember why I started telling this story. I just really get into the wreck and tour of it a lot.
[01:18:22] Speaker C: Well, I think it might have had something to do with the return at Bloomingdale's. And even if it didn't, I mean, let's talk about that, like, scene where hold uh, I'm getting a wow. Uh, Schneider, you know about the cheating controversy in chess, with the vibration?
[01:18:44] Speaker B: Of course.
[01:18:44] Speaker C: Yeah, we've got that system going on in my department, so I'm going to have to go run down getting paged. So I'm going to have to go run down there. Do you guys mind taking this? Actually, if you could all go together just for security, I do have this Ramazan return that I want to send back. Would you mind dropping it in the IPS box outside?
[01:19:03] Speaker A: Sure, yeah, no problem.
[01:19:07] Speaker C: Four points of contact if four points of contact just for security.
[01:19:11] Speaker B: Oh, for safety. For the return slip, not for us.
[01:19:14] Speaker C: Yeah, it's a package.
[01:19:16] Speaker A: Do we all have to be making contact with it at the same time as we go down?
[01:19:20] Speaker C: That would be well, we got four.
[01:19:21] Speaker D: People points of contact.
[01:19:24] Speaker A: I got point left here.
[01:19:25] Speaker D: I'll thrust, and then you guys thrust as well. And we'll do I was going to.
[01:19:31] Speaker B: Grab the southwest corner of the paper with my hand.
[01:19:34] Speaker A: I'll take northeast.
[01:19:35] Speaker D: Okay. I'll take the center.
[01:19:38] Speaker C: Okay, great.
All right.
[01:19:41] Speaker B: Alex, do you understand how cardinal numbers work?
[01:19:44] Speaker D: Yeah, they're red and they fly.
[01:19:48] Speaker B: See, I can't even call you dumb because I said cardinal numbers when I meant Cardinal.
[01:19:52] Speaker A: That's all right.
[01:19:53] Speaker C: They've turned the vibration up very high. So I need to go right now.
[01:19:57] Speaker A: Goodbye.
[01:19:58] Speaker C: We cut to outside in the parking lot, and on his deathbed, Einstein said, honestly, I just wish I could have learned to suck myself off.
[01:20:10] Speaker A: He didn't say it like that. He didn't say that. That was Mick jacket. That wasn't Einstein. These guys don't know nothing. These guys suck.
[01:20:18] Speaker C: This has been E equals Mcock, the only erotic audiobiography of Albert Einstein. I'm Patrick Stewart, telling you, as always, when it comes to listening to the erotic adventures of Albert Einstein, make it so horny.
[01:20:42] Speaker A: That is spike. Spike, it's over. The terrible history is over. Can you let me in now? Who are mean?
It's me. It's Dennis. You gotta let me in, man.
Why?
[01:20:57] Speaker D: I was not told to let anybody please.
[01:21:01] Speaker A: Okay?
Please. All right. Spike. Spike, listen. You gotta let me up here. You gotta get me back up there.
[01:21:08] Speaker C: As Dennis gets into Spike's Toyota Corolla, all of the windows immediately fog up from his prodigious sweat.
[01:21:17] Speaker A: You got to get me back up there.
Lolita is the one I want.
I'm sorry, I blew it.
I want to impress her.
You already impress her. You got to teach me your shit, man.
[01:21:32] Speaker D: Well, she likes birds.
[01:21:34] Speaker A: Does she?
[01:21:34] Speaker D: So here, I'll press the Ejection.
Go show her.
[01:21:39] Speaker B: We cut to back in the recording studio as everybody is finding out where on the Ramazan return slip they're going to be holding. And in the background, nobody notices. You just see Dennis up and down.
[01:21:55] Speaker C: Yeah, the camera zooms. Cool camera trick goes through the window that Schneider just described, meets up with Dennis midair. Real mission impossible stuff. Dennis is flying through the air. He is rapidly ascending low Earth orbit, let's say where that Red Bull guy jumped from and realizes he doesn't have a parachute. Then he notices a button on the side of the ejector seat that just says one thing parachuting.
And we cut back down to the ground where Adam is in the office, the asshole office. We're about to sign the paper. And you know what, guys? I'm actually just going to let me just change one thing here.
Crossing out. No parachuting right now. Some parachuting.
[01:22:51] Speaker B: I'm so sorry. I feel disturbance somewhere.
Somebody says all has just been parachuted.
[01:23:02] Speaker D: I know for a fact you could feel it.
That's scary.
[01:23:08] Speaker C: Yes, he can feel it, but he can also hear it. Sonic boom from Dennis as he expands, winches out full dilation and starts descending. But he's going so fast in his reentry that he is going at terminal velocity. Still, everyone runs outside of the town hall as our hosts are carrying the Ramazan package out. Crab walk towards the IPS box. Derek runs outside and looks directly up at Dennis descending.
[01:23:48] Speaker A: Derek, wait.
[01:23:51] Speaker B: You didn't get sucked inside Dennis's asshole.
[01:23:53] Speaker D: It's a wormhole.
[01:23:54] Speaker C: Yeah, it's a wormhole.
[01:23:55] Speaker D: It all leads to the same.
[01:23:58] Speaker B: Okay, I'm with you.
[01:24:02] Speaker C: Derek. I'm almost out. It's been so long. I've lived a million years in here. Please, no.
[01:24:11] Speaker B: The parachute, asshole. It's going to land on those four people walking around.
[01:24:21] Speaker A: Alex, you got the center, right? You got the center. Be careful. One step at a time.
[01:24:30] Speaker C: Falls through the sky. He does like a skydiving move where he can go faster, down faster, and escapes the gravitational pull of Dennis's asshole and lands face first in the center of the Ramazan package, which luckily contained one of those peanut brittle things that has the snakes inside counterpunch. The velocity of the snakes escaping from the package gently lifts him into the air, where he comes to a soft landing, but a moment to spare.
Oh, my God, derek, you look so beautiful.
You always know the right thing to say.
Let's go. I got some new stuff I want to try with you guys.
[01:25:31] Speaker B: Did that guy just fall out of Dennis's asshole?
Dennis is still look, guys, no. The back of his asshole got caught on the flat.
[01:25:43] Speaker C: Thank God.
[01:25:44] Speaker A: Oh, this is really uncomfortable.
[01:25:46] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. Everyone's coming outside of McDonald's and pointing at him. Oh, man, they put too many.
[01:25:52] Speaker D: Wow. You guys ever seen those flags where it's like the fish and the mouths open and the wind blows?
[01:25:59] Speaker C: I'm looking at one right now.
[01:26:03] Speaker B: Hey, Spike, how'd this happen?
[01:26:07] Speaker D: He wanted to bird you. He wanted to be a.
[01:26:12] Speaker A: Be.
[01:26:12] Speaker D: I told him about the bird, the launch.
[01:26:17] Speaker C: That's so sweet. Hey, Mike, Alex, you know let's go.
Schneider, get over here.
[01:26:25] Speaker A: I'll be honest. Ever since my mom opened up Rival Tattoo, just I've always been trying to impress you with everything, and I just I mean hey, listen.
[01:26:33] Speaker B: Shut up, Dennis. We're doing a huddle.
[01:26:35] Speaker A: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt.
[01:26:38] Speaker C: We're just saying I can speak for myself. Married. Wasn't going to happen anyway. I'm not going to pursue you romantically. Alex, thoughts? No, mike out.
[01:26:50] Speaker A: Honestly, just I'm intimidated by his prolapse and can't compete. I can't compete with that.
[01:26:57] Speaker C: Schneider, are you out? Not going to pursue?
[01:27:00] Speaker B: No. No.
[01:27:01] Speaker C: Okay. Lolita, you're the most I feel we're too similar.
[01:27:04] Speaker A: Yeah, you guys have been in lockstep every single sentence that you guys have said. I don't think you guys would disagree with each other in one.
[01:27:11] Speaker C: Truly, if anyone had a chance, it was you, Schneider. But, Lolita, you've been the most fascinating woman we've ever had on the podcast. No offense to the other women who've been on the you just you just.
[01:27:24] Speaker D: Have such a feminine energy about you. That just works.
[01:27:28] Speaker A: Lolita, you're welcome back on the pod anytime. Schneider, not so much, but.
[01:27:36] Speaker B: I'm going to have to agree with that. That's the right call, Mike.
[01:27:39] Speaker C: Okay, guys, we're going to go over here. Take your time. We will be watching, but not know invasively. We just want to clap.
[01:27:46] Speaker B: No, it's fine, guys. I've never had anybody ever. Just tell me.
[01:27:50] Speaker A: So, straight up.
[01:27:52] Speaker B: Just follow your heart. So you know what I'm going to do is I'm going to leave Dennis on that flagpole. Maybe I'm going to throw a shoe at him or something, but I'm going to get in that car with Spike and we're going to go straight to Vegas and get hitched. Do you hear that, Spike?
[01:28:07] Speaker C: Oh, this is a bad situation for Dennis. He parachuted himself and he didn't even get the girl.
[01:28:15] Speaker A: I'm still optimistic.
I can't wait for them to get out of that. You shouldn't be.
[01:28:22] Speaker B: You're my mother's best friend's, third cousin's, twice removed, kids, pool boys, fiance's, great aunt's, nephew's, friend.
[01:28:30] Speaker A: Feel like our relationship has changed a few times there, but you know what?
[01:28:33] Speaker B: We're just too close.
[01:28:35] Speaker A: This is going to go good for me. Things are looking good for old Dennis.
[01:28:39] Speaker C: Grimace, at the base of the McDonald's flag, starts running up whatever that's called.
[01:28:46] Speaker B: The rope halyards.
[01:28:48] Speaker C: Thank you.
Grimace starts running up the halyards of the flagpole. And Dennis.
He billows. He just full Billows, like a guy from the car dealership.
[01:29:02] Speaker A: Like the flag in the French Revolution.
[01:29:04] Speaker C: Shut up.
[01:29:05] Speaker B: More romantic than what I was.
[01:29:06] Speaker A: Oh, what are you going to say?
[01:29:08] Speaker B: The wacky flailing inflatable tube.
[01:29:09] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. But see, that's not as historically appropriate for my character, so I'm going to go with the French Revolution thing.
[01:29:14] Speaker C: I didn't realize they had those in the French Revolution that you could sub that in. Shut up, Dennis. Fuck off.
[01:29:22] Speaker A: Hey, Bolina, where are you going.
[01:29:30] Speaker C: Driving that Corolla to Vegas.
[01:29:31] Speaker B: We just see the car drive off into the sun.
[01:29:34] Speaker C: There's cans of the Ass Blaster, peanut brittle, things behind, like, tied up, like.
[01:29:42] Speaker B: Going off and just prolapsing the assholes.
[01:29:44] Speaker C: Of random Lynbrook citizens doing a real hydraulics thing. So it's bumping down the street. Lowrider starts playing by war.
[01:29:54] Speaker B: As just people are just prolapsing on every corner.
[01:29:58] Speaker A: Can I come down now? I would really like to come down.
[01:30:01] Speaker C: No, we're done with you. We're going back inside.
You're at the mercy of Grimace.
[01:30:06] Speaker A: Goodbye.
[01:30:07] Speaker B: This is the end of your man.
[01:30:09] Speaker C: You could die up there and we never would follow up about it.
[01:30:13] Speaker A: I would rather not.
[01:30:14] Speaker C: Dennis, dennis, we can't emphasize enough, we did not like you from the get go. You came in too hot. It's the downfall of many a person we interact with. Goodbye forever.
Everybody loves Raymond, and we love you, but fuck off.
[01:30:31] Speaker A: As Napoleon said.
[01:30:38] Speaker C: So, what a day.
That was an interesting one.
[01:30:42] Speaker A: That was a weird one.
[01:30:43] Speaker C: I think I'm going to alex, can you sign this? I want to go back to Bloomingdale's. I don't want to be in charge of the ass department anymore.
[01:30:49] Speaker D: No, I don't know. I think I'm going to leave you on the ass for at least another 10 minutes.
[01:30:55] Speaker C: Okay.
[01:30:56] Speaker D: Just because I need to talk to, like, a tattoo removal specialist to get this removed.
[01:31:02] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:31:03] Speaker B: It doesn't look like Lolita ever finished the, I guess, collaboration with Dennis.
[01:31:09] Speaker D: It's on my back, as we established. I can't see it. How does it look?
[01:31:14] Speaker B: No, I'm looking right at it.
[01:31:15] Speaker C: We're looking.
[01:31:16] Speaker B: So you have all the stuff that Dennis was doing, but then he literally like, you know when you make a mistake with pen and you just, like, scribble it? He tried to do that with the tattoo gun to multiple different spelling mistakes.
And at a couple of points, he seemed to just start I mean, and.
[01:31:39] Speaker C: I think Lolita's main contribution was I'm just going to poke don't mind this, but like, here, it's Einstein eating out your ass. Unfortunately.
[01:31:51] Speaker B: Yeah. Really? Like a Gene Simmons length tongue to be able to get from your low back to your asshole. I will say Dennis's medieval style illuminations are stunning.
[01:32:01] Speaker C: And it fits.
[01:32:02] Speaker A: I was going to say I think mine's pretty good.
[01:32:04] Speaker B: Yeah, Mike, yours is really vanilla. Mike.
[01:32:07] Speaker A: Hey, I don't know about it's.
[01:32:08] Speaker B: Just words.
[01:32:09] Speaker D: It's a little basic.
[01:32:09] Speaker A: Bitch. Listen, I got a face tattoo.
[01:32:12] Speaker C: Yeah, it's been a crazy day. Yeah. I mean, anything that we didn't talk about. I mean, obviously there are a couple more guest stars in this episode, but you probably don't want to hear about those guys, right? You heard one.
[01:32:24] Speaker A: Give me another one.
[01:32:25] Speaker B: Fucking do them all.
[01:32:26] Speaker C: Okay, so we've got Drenda. SPone Holtz.
[01:32:30] Speaker A: Great name, excellent name.
[01:32:33] Speaker C: She plays Leanne. She has eight credits. She started out in 1994 in a TV movie, I think called The Search for One Eye Jimmy. And her last role was Cherry in 1999, regular movie. She also was on a Law and Order. She was in the Paul Newman movie. Nobody's fool.
She has absolutely no web presence. She, in fact, after 1999, apparently changed her name. And look, I'm a pretty good sleuth, so I was able to track her down. But I'm thinking that because she changed her name, she probably doesn't want her spot blown up by the barome boys.
[01:33:13] Speaker D: Let's leave it to her.
[01:33:16] Speaker C: I just don't want our fans to show up in her bushes.
[01:33:19] Speaker A: Of course not. We can't let that happen again.
[01:33:22] Speaker C: Basically, the only detail I will give about her is that she stopped acting in 1999, obviously, and she was in real estate for a time. But the rest of her life, mystery. Otherwise. We've got Hamilton, the sales clerk, played by Phil Abrams, another heavy hitting guest star. 163 roles, 94 to present. This is interesting. His first role was Roseanne and Tom. Behind the scenes, an unauthorized docudrama centering on the romance and eventual breakup of Roseanne Barr and Tom Arnold, an interestingly enough full circle moment. He was on the Connors as a guest star in 2020.
[01:34:02] Speaker A: That is pretty cool.
[01:34:03] Speaker C: Yeah, it's pretty neat.
Most recently, he was on an episode of Always Sunny in Philadelphia in 2023. So the most recent season. Finally, the woman returning the toaster is Peggy Doyle. She's best known for having a small role in the movie Fletch, but she's had 39 roles with lots of guests starring spots. She stopped working in 2001 and died in 2006. Mike, I'm sorry. I know that you like when these guest actors work until they die on the set.
[01:34:35] Speaker A: I do enjoy that, actually. It makes me very happy.
[01:34:37] Speaker C: Yeah. Very high standard of work ethic. So unfortunately, she had five good years where she was retired. But that's Peggy Doyle. So those are the guest stars in this episode. Excellent. Fascinating. Or don't care.
[01:34:52] Speaker A: I think it's great that we give these guys the brown boy bump.
[01:34:56] Speaker D: It is cool to learn about the tiny parts in this show.
I wanted to add just one scene. I think Ray Romando deserves a little credit here because I've never really heard Ray sound angry before. But he really brought the rage out when he was talking with his parents in that one scene at their house.
[01:35:17] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
[01:35:18] Speaker D: And I was impressed. It's like a volume we have not heard from him.
[01:35:22] Speaker B: It sounded like it could be if this was a long form, like narrative show with continuity. Serialized. Yeah, like a serialized narrative arc. Could have been like a point of inflection for the show. Like the end of the second act, changing the relationship, a turning point. The dynamic about a toaster that was a normal person, I would have just said turning point.
[01:35:49] Speaker C: No, I like the way you said it.
[01:35:53] Speaker A: Let me ask you, generally, does Ray have any right to be upset here?
[01:35:57] Speaker C: No.
[01:35:58] Speaker A: Any right whatsoever?
[01:35:59] Speaker C: Not the way that he is.
I think it's interesting that you called it rage, Alex. I saw it as, like, melting down in a very tantrum way. Yeah. Very. Like the sense of entitlement that he has to this sort of recognition of the good things that he does and Deborah calls it out later.
It's two things. He both needs their approval, but also feels like he deserves it. And that's where this sort of strong emotional reaction seems to be coming from when they don't give it to him and they sort of reject his gift. So it read to me as very.
[01:36:44] Speaker B: Yeah, the line that kind of took me out of it because I was with that scene, to Alex's point, it was like something we hadn't a dynamic we hadn't seen between Ray and Marie up until that point. But the line do you know the time, the thought and then sort of just trailed off of it. Just like because in my head I was like, what do you mean, the thought? It's a pretty simple and straightforward Merry Christmas, we love you names.
[01:37:15] Speaker C: It's not personal.
[01:37:16] Speaker B: It's a toaster. It's not exceptionally thoughtful.
[01:37:19] Speaker D: It wasn't even just for them. It was for everyone in the family. They've got them, like, mass printed.
[01:37:25] Speaker A: I thought that was going to be a more larger point, too. I thought Marie was going to find out that he made it for everybody and was going to be offended, and that never happened.
[01:37:34] Speaker D: I could definitely see this episode going that direction.
[01:37:37] Speaker B: I thought that's what going to happen when Robert yeah, the one up at Deborah's parents.
[01:37:43] Speaker C: I think also to stay on that like the scene of Robert and Ray and Deborah in the kitchen and Deborah calling out. Maybe the question is why you're so desperate for their approval. Robert says something to the effect of, like, Nailed it, SIS. Which I thought was weird.
[01:38:03] Speaker B: Yeah, I noticed that, too.
[01:38:05] Speaker C: It jutted out as something he would not usually call her. So it's weird because he goes back and forth kind of with Deborah sometimes. Robert is kind of or at least more so in the early episodes. Maybe he's very reserved around Deborah and this is a completely different where he's very familiar with her, very comfortable with her on her side in this. It's an interesting was this before or.
[01:38:31] Speaker B: After the episode where they have the affair in the hot tub and Robert has one of his ex wife's old bikinis laying around, but it's too small for Deborah and he's like, Put it on.
[01:38:47] Speaker C: Yeah, I think you might be thinking of the fan fiction.
[01:38:50] Speaker A: Yeah, that was definitely the fan fiction.
[01:38:53] Speaker D: Fan fiction.
[01:38:58] Speaker A: That's really Stevie for the actual show, man.
[01:39:01] Speaker C: If anyone wanted to hear that erotic fan fiction episode well, actually not super erotic, that fan fiction episode, they could go to Slash, Donate and pay what they want for lifetime access to the Barone Zonus.
But unfortunately, you're not going to be able to see it on Peacock because it was never filmed for whatever reason.
[01:39:21] Speaker A: I wonder why.
[01:39:23] Speaker C: Tragedy. This is in a completely separate timeline from that episode. Okay, Mike, anything else that you wanted to hit on?
[01:39:32] Speaker A: Yeah, I wanted to hit on the hot clothes. It was a single line, but it actually made me chuckle a little bit, which was the Frank and Marie get arrested, which is just such a love it. I absolutely love it that they went all the way to get arrested to save Ray's feelings.
But just the final scene of just the phone call and Deborah being like, so your parents got arrested in possible theft of a toaster. And Ray's, just like they do. Care. That made me also that is a.
[01:40:05] Speaker B: Great what I loved about the framing of that is that when Debra went to pat Ray's head, it didn't cut to a different angle. So you could also see Deborah or like zoom out or anything. You just saw Deborah's hand come in from stage left and just tap his head, almost like Patronizingly.
[01:40:29] Speaker A: The other moment that I wanted to hit on was just a shot that we have not seen come from Raymond, I think, ever was when Frank was tearing open the boxes and then he was like, oh, I got to check the storeroom. Marie keep distracting him. And then he runs into the room. You see the pan out of just a sinful glut of these toasters and then just Frank's like, Holy crap. That's a lot. That got me, too.
[01:40:58] Speaker D: That's an iconic work for one shot.
[01:41:01] Speaker C: That is like an iconic like, I feel like if you see on my nine or something, like, we got Everybody Loves Raymond tonight, like, the super cuddle be, like, painting the house and getting it on, like, I don't know, other things. Maybe Marie sculpture or something. Well, they probably wouldn't put that in a commercial, but I get what you're saying. Yeah.
[01:41:23] Speaker B: But they would get Marie going, oh, my God, I'm a lesbian.
[01:41:26] Speaker A: Yes, definitely.
[01:41:28] Speaker C: But, yeah, this pan up of Frank in the stockroom is, I feel like, a classic shot. And we also have the classic line in this episode of the what contest in hell did I win? So this is a pretty well regarded episode, or at least well remembered episode, for sure, in the pantheon. Oh, one more detail that I just wanted to point out before we move off of it and move on to the barometer. There is a security guard in bloomingdale's. After Marie tries to wrestle away the toaster from the other woman, she runs away. She runs past the security guard. It does not do anything.
That is Richard A. Romano in his second cameo on the show. Hey, Ray's brother.
So we have now consumed three pieces of media in which Richard A. Romano appears.
Two episodes.
[01:42:21] Speaker B: He said it was his second cameo.
[01:42:22] Speaker C: Yeah.
[01:42:22] Speaker B: What was the third piece of media?
[01:42:25] Speaker C: Well, also in the Barona Zonas, we talked about the 2004 film welcome to Mooseport, which stars Ray Romano and Gene Hackman. Richard Romano is also in that. That's the movie where that convinced Gene Hackman to never act again. So it's a pretty interesting artifact.
[01:42:45] Speaker D: It's a legendary movie.
[01:42:47] Speaker B: Oh, I love that.
[01:42:48] Speaker C: Yeah. It's also in The Barone owners, obviously, postfund.org slash Donate, but I think that's everything that I wanted to talk about. Same here. Sorry. One more line. Ray. In the very start of the episode, engraved toaster Mary Xmas, ray has the line, I Xed out the name of the birthday boy, which I thought was fun.
[01:43:09] Speaker A: That is a good line.
[01:43:11] Speaker C: Criticizing Debra for using foil wrapping. Foil wrapping. Metal toaster. Why don't you just wrap it in toast? I thought that was funny. So, Schneider, as I'm sure you remember, the barometer is our scale from one to ten, on which we rate Ray's performance as a husband, son, brother, father gift giver, with ten being the great dads of sitcom history. You're. Carl Winslow. Uncle Phil. Danny Tanner. Alex, can you give me another good dad from TV history?
[01:43:43] Speaker D: My dad, if he was on TV.
[01:43:46] Speaker C: Has your dad ever appeared on television?
[01:43:48] Speaker A: Sweet.
[01:43:49] Speaker D: No, but if he was, he'd be at Ted.
[01:43:52] Speaker C: Not even in like, the background of a news report or something?
[01:43:55] Speaker D: Not that I know of.
[01:43:57] Speaker C: So I think I'm not going to be able to accept that answer.
[01:44:02] Speaker A: You're accepting it.
[01:44:04] Speaker C: All right. Has he been on, like, an Instagram live before? Is a YouTube video no, nothing he doesn't show up on.
[01:44:17] Speaker D: I may as well have been conceived without a father. You would never know he exists, but he's great.
[01:44:23] Speaker C: Have you ever been watching TV and he walks in front of the TV, in front of your field of vision?
[01:44:29] Speaker D: He's actually very respectful to let me watch what I'm watching.
[01:44:32] Speaker B: That's why he's a ten.
[01:44:33] Speaker C: Yeah, fine. And one being the bad men of television history. Your Tony Sopranos, your Walter White's, Don Draper's. Men who actively harm their families. Mike, give me another example of a bad from TV history.
[01:44:50] Speaker A: Darth Vader.
[01:44:52] Speaker C: Perfect. I mean, I'm sure there's been one of those Star Wars shows where he's.
[01:44:56] Speaker A: Popped there's been a lot of those Star Wars shows where he's popped up, actually.
[01:45:00] Speaker C: Shockingly, I believe it. So that works. Yeah, so schneider that's how it works.
This is actually good because we have four people here. Normally, we always happen somebody has to leave during this, and by law, we need at least three, so I think we'll be fine.
[01:45:18] Speaker A: Nobody actually, guys, I got a call about that Amazon package. Apparently didn't.
[01:45:24] Speaker C: Sorry.
[01:45:25] Speaker A: They need a fifth person point of contact. Point of contact. Yeah, that's it. Fifth point of contact. So I'm just going to go down there and pretend I'm another guy.
[01:45:32] Speaker C: And where are you returning? Where is this package?
[01:45:35] Speaker A: This is the one that you sent to us.
[01:45:37] Speaker C: No, but what service is delivered?
[01:45:38] Speaker A: Oh, ramazan. Sorry. Ramazan. Ramazan package. I apologize. All right, I got to go fight.
[01:45:43] Speaker C: Not even a good pun, but we.
[01:45:44] Speaker A: Have to keep we got to keep it going. There's one piece of this.
[01:45:47] Speaker C: One piece of the puzzle. Okay, well, good. I mean, Mike would have been superfluous to this process anyway, so I think we can oh, hold on. Let me get that. Oh, God, I'm being paged. Hold on. Oh, God.
Reach to the door.
Oh, Lewis.
Okay, I see you. Stop paging me, please.
[01:46:08] Speaker A: Oh, God, I'm sorry.
[01:46:10] Speaker C: There sorry.
[01:46:11] Speaker A: Hey, I just got a question.
[01:46:13] Speaker C: I think we need to talk about this system.
[01:46:15] Speaker A: Yeah, listen, you're the one that wanted to do the modifications and everything. I was very happy to make it happen.
Anyway, boss, I just want to ask, are we still getting paid on a bi weekly schedule?
[01:46:27] Speaker C: No. Lump sum.
[01:46:30] Speaker A: Okay, cool.
[01:46:31] Speaker C: Annual.
[01:46:32] Speaker A: No problem.
[01:46:33] Speaker C: I mean, annual maybe missing a few letters. I mean, it's there. Lump sum up.
[01:46:40] Speaker A: Oh, what's going on here, though?
[01:46:42] Speaker C: That's pretty presumptuous that you would come. And this is sort of a private leadership meeting. This is where we record everybody Loves everybody Loves Raymond.
[01:46:51] Speaker A: Oh, sorry.
[01:46:52] Speaker C: Where we recap every episode of Everybody.
[01:46:54] Speaker A: Yeah, no, I know. The show. You play it every week on the loudspeakers, and everyone that doesn't listen has to go to jail. I understand.
[01:47:02] Speaker C: Yeah. Play the podcast on the loudest speaker.
Put the episode on the Eyes Wide Shutdown, every screen.
Well, if your choice, if you want to bump Pay 699 to get Eyes Wide shutted, then that's fine. Is that what that is? Or Clockwork Orange.
[01:47:18] Speaker A: One of those two.
They called it something different in Manitoba.
[01:47:23] Speaker C: Really? You didn't have clockwork orange in Manitoba?
[01:47:25] Speaker A: No.
[01:47:26] Speaker C: Okay, well, I'll tell you about it later.
[01:47:29] Speaker A: They called the clockwork poutine. Anyway, let's move on.
[01:47:33] Speaker C: I don't know if that you don't.
[01:47:36] Speaker A: Know what one to one, lewis, I just name it. I'm just telling you what they called it.
[01:47:43] Speaker C: Not canuck work orange.
[01:47:45] Speaker A: Oh, that's better. That's what they should have called it. That's much better.
[01:47:49] Speaker C: Trudeau won't return my calls, but again.
[01:47:52] Speaker A: I'm not in the movie industry. I don't name these things. Distributing it.
[01:47:57] Speaker C: Lewis, I want to ask you to leave, but I kind of want to hear I mean, we're doing the barometer.
[01:48:05] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, I know the deal. You guys go ahead. I'll just sit here and listen. I'll go.
[01:48:09] Speaker C: No, I mean, I kind of want to hear what you have to say. Are you cool to give us your rating at that?
[01:48:15] Speaker B: Oh, sure.
[01:48:15] Speaker A: Yeah, no problem.
[01:48:16] Speaker C: Okay, cool. Awesome. And just sitting in that chair over there, that one we repoed earlier from an ass modifier, so it might be difficult sit, but I think you can.
[01:48:30] Speaker A: Do it a little uncomfy. But we'll live.
[01:48:33] Speaker C: So, Schneider, you're the guest. Would you like to go first and share your rating?
[01:48:42] Speaker B: Yeah, if Lewis could maybe stop oh, sorry. Making those noise.
[01:48:46] Speaker C: I know that he's getting paged, too, so it's going to be difficult for him.
[01:48:52] Speaker B: Yeah, it's a little distracting because it's the ass modifying chair that he is presently in. Sort of a contorted, downward dog, head down, ass up sort of situation.
[01:49:03] Speaker C: Yes.
[01:49:03] Speaker A: Hey, it's just the chair, man.
[01:49:05] Speaker B: So I wish if I had foresight, I would have gone back and listened to the barometer in the other two episodes I was in.
[01:49:14] Speaker C: Just you don't need to do that.
[01:49:16] Speaker B: Get a sense of what my benchmarks are.
[01:49:22] Speaker C: Do you want me to look it up? I can look it up.
[01:49:24] Speaker B: You can do that?
[01:49:24] Speaker C: Yeah.
[01:49:25] Speaker B: Oh, please.
[01:49:25] Speaker C: It's actually on our website.
If you go to Postfund.org Raymond and you click on the folder icon, it has all the barometer scores up to season two. And you were on to, I want to say, 17 or 19.
[01:49:43] Speaker B: I was on the ride along episode.
[01:49:48] Speaker C: The ride along was 17. So you gave Ray an eight.
[01:49:53] Speaker B: Okay. I do remember rating him highly in that episode.
[01:49:55] Speaker C: And then you were also on your first episode. Do you remember which one that was?
Was it Dicka or Bradshaw?
[01:50:05] Speaker B: No, they were they're all sick.
[01:50:07] Speaker C: Yeah, Deborah's sick. Deborah's sick. Is Deborah's sick?
[01:50:11] Speaker B: I rated him lowly on that one.
[01:50:14] Speaker C: You gave him a seven on yes.
[01:50:19] Speaker B: Yeah, because he really did try to do the right thing in that episode. So I guess I've been rating Ray very highly. Yeah, that's going to change.
Just such a snifling little pathetic piece of trash in this episode.
I hate him.
And you could say, like, well, no, the toaster was so thoughtful.
It was just like, this happened. And then he kind of spiraled. But it's like, if it's that easy to make him spiral, then it was never coming from a good place in the first place. There was a lot of discourse around the cursed child after it came out.
[01:51:01] Speaker C: Which for people who don't know what that is are you talking about your.
[01:51:06] Speaker B: Child coming out of your no, not my biological child.
[01:51:10] Speaker C: You're talking about yourself coming out of.
[01:51:11] Speaker B: Your no, no, I'm talking about the spinoff stage adaptation of the Harry Potter IP.
[01:51:19] Speaker C: Got it.
[01:51:21] Speaker B: It started as fan fiction, but then received Rowling's blessing and she was included as a co writer.
[01:51:26] Speaker C: J. K. Simmons signed off on it.
[01:51:28] Speaker B: Oh, sure.
But Cedric Diggory becomes a fascist in the play. Like, he joins the Death Eaters. And there was a lot of people trying to say, like, look at his life just spiraled out of control after he because there's a bunch of time travel nonsense because he survives the Triwizard Cup, but he loses. I might be getting the plot details wrong. So if there's any, like, nobody cares, the comments log off.
[01:51:59] Speaker C: I don't like no overlap.
[01:52:01] Speaker B: No overlap whatsoever.
He loses and that throws him into a depressive funk that basically is just the modern analog would be some lonely, dejected young white male who gets radicalized on four Chan. He just gets really sad about losing this tournament and turns to fascism, and people are like, hey, if it was that easy to radicalize him, I don't think he was really a good guy in the first place. It really did not require that much to totally throw his life into a fascist funk. So if it was that easy to make Ray just such a sniveling little piece of shit, just to make him just like, yeah, then the gift was never coming from the right place in the first place, I think.
Or maybe I don't know. I'm downplaying the trauma of having Frank and Maria's parents. Maybe it fucks you up psychologically. Maybe I'm being insensitive right now. I don't know. I just know that in watching this episode, I did not like Raymond.
He was like whining about the size of his nose that he saw in the reflection of the toaster and everything. It's just like oh, my God. Pull yourself together, man. So I'm going to go.
We didn't see him interact with the kids. I don't think the kids were in this episode at all.
[01:53:26] Speaker C: Maybe at Christmas in the background. I don't know, I didn't notice him.
[01:53:30] Speaker B: Either, so can't rate him as a father.
His brotherly interactions were very passing. He got the gift and everything. But again, arguing that the gift maybe wasn't coming from the best place in the first place. I'm going to say a four. Just because he's having that energy around you, just that snideling, pathetic energy.
Nobody wants that. That's harmful.
[01:53:54] Speaker C: Yes, I agree. I think you hit on the perfect analogy that using the Harry Potter play. That is the perfect analogy for understanding this. And in fact, it's the only one you could have used. So thank you for laying that out.
[01:54:11] Speaker B: I'm so sorry.
[01:54:13] Speaker A: I think that was pretty good. I appreciate it.
[01:54:16] Speaker C: Do you get Harry Potter in Canada?
[01:54:18] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, you call it Harry Potter.
[01:54:21] Speaker C: But yeah, Harry putin. Harry Putin, I'm telling you. Can you please ask Trudeau to return my calls? I have good ideas.
[01:54:29] Speaker B: He's mixed up with some stuff with India right now.
[01:54:33] Speaker C: Timestamp this evergreen.
Alex, where is Ray coming in for you this episode?
[01:54:45] Speaker D: He's not doing too hot with me either.
I think my favorite note I wrote was just, god, Ray is so fucking insecure.
I think it's just like on top of all the bullshit, he also just probably like three weeks before Christmas was just like a toaster that's engraved and oh great, I could just get one for everyone and then now I'm done with Christmas.
[01:55:13] Speaker B: Debra did mention it was two months.
[01:55:15] Speaker D: Yeah. Okay, two months. Even more. He feels like it was not really from the heart and more from like, oh great, I don't have to deal with this.
So and then after know, just the constant fear and complaining and the insecurity about whether or not they'll like it, he constantly challenges people who say that they like the present and then just blowing up at his parents. Even though that part I don't entirely disagree. Like, I think it was wrong of Marie and Frank to just trade it in, especially so quick.
Not even talking to Ray about the toaster, like having it in their house for him to see, not even unboxing it.
Yeah, overall it's just a mess. It kind of felt like Marie and Frank were framed as the people who messed up in the second half of the episode. But Ray was just so fucking not.
It was too much. I'll give him a three and a half.
[01:56:20] Speaker C: Okay, 3.5. Thank you for bringing up that it was ray purchased these toasters two months prior to Christmas Day.
To go back to season three, episode eight, the article, which we establish ends on October 16, 1998. By looking at Schneider, two newspapers that were in the episode, we determined that the episode took place over four and a half months by looking at those historical events.
That means Ray helped Andy finish his article. And Andy, I guess, was on his mind. See, my theory is he started toaster gate with said, you know, Andy's really been through it with this whole Sports Illustrated thing. I should get him something. And the kids at home are asking about how Andy's doing with this whole thing. I think he really wants to know that they care about him. So I'm going to get Andy a toaster. And then he goes to the toaster store, and he sees that, oh, wow, I can get a pretty good discount on toasters if I buy more than six. So he goes ahead and he buys one for everyone in his family. That's sort of my internal logic as to where this episode falls in Ray's life. So thank you for bringing that up, Alex.
[01:57:38] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:57:38] Speaker B: And that also makes it even sillier when he's like, it had your son's name on it and your grandkids and their love. I don't know why I made him Christian Bale's Batman, but if we accept your logic that this all started with.
[01:57:55] Speaker C: Andy yes, and no reason why you shouldn't.
[01:57:57] Speaker A: So, Adam, what do you think about the what's your rating coming in that.
[01:58:01] Speaker C: Well, Lewis, as I mentioned, I found Ray to be pretty terrible in this episode. I just think the entitlement that he shows towards Maureen Frank, I think Alex made a good point that Barone Frank are sort of framed as the bad guys in this episode. Ray could have said up front, the toaster is engraved on the card in the gift or something, or given them the toaster outside of the original box, something to indicate, hey, don't leave this toaster unopened. That's the sort of the logical thing he could have done to avoid this situation. The situation wasn't avoided. He did find out that they returned the toaster without opening it, and he reacted very poorly, I thought so for the reasons I mentioned earlier. Basically, I feel like he was kind of a nightmare in this episode. Very self involved, very just I just wasn't a fan. I'm going to give him a 2.5.
[01:58:58] Speaker A: Oh, wow. Okay.
[01:58:59] Speaker D: Wow.
[01:59:00] Speaker C: So, Lewis.
[01:59:04] Speaker A: I'm going to be completely honest with you guys.
I'm giving him a ten. I think he did it flawlessly. He did flawless episode.
I don't know about you guys, but if my family brought me a toaster with everybody's name on it, that'd be great. That way I don't need to look at it, and I don't have to forget anybody's name, especially when I'm making them toast. I could go, all right, this is Jeffrey's toast.
I don't know. I think this is quite kind of him, honestly.
[01:59:32] Speaker B: I think it's a great lewis, how often are you making toast for five people?
[01:59:37] Speaker A: Anytime I'm making toast, I make at least five pieces.
[01:59:41] Speaker C: That's my go to five pieces.
[01:59:44] Speaker A: Five pieces.
[01:59:45] Speaker C: You have to run the toaster five times.
[01:59:49] Speaker B: Three times.
[01:59:50] Speaker C: Thank you. But wouldn't it be more efficient to put a six piece of toast in there?
[01:59:54] Speaker A: No.
[01:59:54] Speaker C: And you're not wasting the energy of that second slot.
[01:59:56] Speaker A: No, they don't tell you this, but actually the little loaves of bread actually come in slices that are divisible by five. So if you do six every time, then you can't complete it the next time or the final time, and that's just no good.
[02:00:10] Speaker C: Yeah, but that's Canada. Things are different down. I mean, your bread comes in a box, right?
[02:00:14] Speaker A: It's been established. I've been here since the fourth grade.
I think that I've been here for a while.
[02:00:21] Speaker C: Yeah, but your framework for bread is still and always will be, I guess, bread.
[02:00:25] Speaker A: I've been traumatized by the Canadian, by the traumatized.
[02:00:31] Speaker B: But also I just want to explore, Lewis, that you said you make at least five pieces of toast every time you make toast, but also that this is why my question was, when are you making toast for five people? So every time you make toast for yourself, are you going and finding at least two to four other people whom you could also give?
[02:00:55] Speaker C: Or is five the unit per person? So if you have five no, you need to make too much 30 pieces of toast.
[02:01:03] Speaker A: That's too much toast. No, I go and I make the toast, and if I have the people with me, I serve it to them right there. And if not, I go out in the wilderness and I'm like, hey, who wants toast?
[02:01:13] Speaker C: You just go out into the wilderness.
[02:01:17] Speaker A: All right, your name is Jeffrey. Here you go.
[02:01:20] Speaker C: And you're actively like engraving new names onto the toast.
[02:01:25] Speaker A: Confusing about this.
[02:01:27] Speaker C: Let's start at the you do we really have to?
[02:01:31] Speaker A: All right.
[02:01:32] Speaker D: I don't think we have to.
[02:01:33] Speaker C: We don't have to.
[02:01:34] Speaker D: Can we not?
[02:01:35] Speaker B: I think we've established, though, that Lewis's rating is obviously it's official and must go on the record, but is to in spirit be disregarded.
[02:01:45] Speaker C: Let's let him finish.
[02:01:48] Speaker A: I think he's right to be upset with his parents, not appreciating his hard earned gift, and they're jerks to him, and he's jerks back to them, and it's great, it's good. It's good television. And they think that he's in his right to do it. People are allowed to have emotions even if they're not positive. And I think that's what Ray's doing. I don't think that's bad.
[02:02:04] Speaker C: Okay. He did sort of have a pretty rational reason at the end there, although he did start from a place.
[02:02:11] Speaker A: Canadians are smart.
I take issue with your surprise there. But.
[02:02:21] Speaker B: We didn't think that you weren't smart. We thought you were.
[02:02:24] Speaker C: You started from a place of I make five pieces of toast every time I make toast.
[02:02:28] Speaker A: Yeah, it's divisible by five.
[02:02:29] Speaker C: Your credibility was strained at the start.
[02:02:33] Speaker B: I just have one more question, Lewis. I don't want to belabor the point, but Ray did mention in the cold open, why don't you just wrap it in toast? Is this something you.
[02:02:46] Speaker A: See? It saves money.
Bread is cheaper than wrapping paper. So you just make a lot of toast.
[02:02:51] Speaker B: No follow up questions.
[02:02:53] Speaker A: Make a lot of toast and you cover the thing. It's great.
[02:02:55] Speaker C: And thank you. That CD that you put out, wrapping about toast?
[02:03:01] Speaker A: Yeah.
[02:03:01] Speaker C: How did that do? Was that, like, number one? Did you win a Juno for that?
[02:03:07] Speaker A: I won the Manitoba Got Talent Award. Yeah.
[02:03:09] Speaker C: Manitoba got talent Manitoba got talent I.
[02:03:12] Speaker A: Was there on mgt.
[02:03:14] Speaker C: Who are the judges on that? Buble, obviously.
[02:03:17] Speaker A: You got buble. You got a Moose, you got actually, Simon Cowell comes out every once in a while. It's pretty great.
[02:03:27] Speaker C: Yeah, he does all of the franchise.
[02:03:29] Speaker A: Yeah. And then we got Drake.
[02:03:31] Speaker C: What was the prize?
[02:03:36] Speaker A: Syrup. Lots of syrup.
[02:03:38] Speaker C: Yep. Canada.
[02:03:40] Speaker D: Yum.
[02:03:42] Speaker C: Okay, Lewis.
[02:03:43] Speaker A: All right. Well, I've given you my two cent, and my yes has been rearranged.
[02:03:47] Speaker C: Wait, Lewis, I know you do a little math on the side. Can you please tell us what the average of 2.53.510 and four R is?
2.53.54.
[02:04:02] Speaker A: It actually comes out to be five.
[02:04:05] Speaker C: Really?
[02:04:05] Speaker A: Comes out to be in the middle five reactions.
[02:04:10] Speaker C: That seems too high. A little high, but right to me, in the middle, this is like when.
[02:04:18] Speaker B: You say the average income in the United States is, like $220,000.
[02:04:24] Speaker C: You're saying we should be taking just because.
[02:04:28] Speaker B: Yeah. $10 are making hundreds of millions, if not billions of dollars. Lewis, yours was insane, and it's throwing off the average.
[02:04:39] Speaker A: Well, all in days work. Give Ray some breaks.
It's on its work if you can get it.
[02:04:46] Speaker C: All right, Lewis, I can tell you're fully rearranged because you started face down, ass up, and you're now ass up, face gone. So I'll let you go.
And don't worry, your lump sum will be shoved in your box pretty soon.
[02:05:04] Speaker A: Hey, that's how I would actually hear it. All right. Goodbye, guys.
[02:05:06] Speaker C: Bye, Lewis. Bye. Yeah. Actually, you know what, Alex? I think I do want to keep working in the ass office.
[02:05:12] Speaker D: Good. I wasn't going to let you go.
[02:05:14] Speaker C: Great. Perfect.
[02:05:15] Speaker A: Hey, guys, I'm back. So we do the barometer yet?
[02:05:18] Speaker C: Yeah, we actually are done with so.
[02:05:21] Speaker A: Let'S just close out then.
[02:05:23] Speaker C: Okay. Yeah, let's end the episode. Schneider, thank you for coming on the show. I know it's of course, it's always fun, always a challenge to be around all this local government fervor that happens. Bills being passed, other things being passed.
We appreciate you and we appreciate you bringing your perspective. And hopefully this one doesn't result in as many hashtag Blue Lives Matter comments as your last appearance did.
[02:05:52] Speaker B: That's unfortunate.
[02:05:53] Speaker C: Thank you. Anyway.
[02:05:54] Speaker B: Well, wait, hold on. You mentioned earlier that you have comment moderation.
[02:05:58] Speaker C: They'll see them, so you don't see them come in. Just reject them.
[02:06:01] Speaker B: You don't left through what was it.
[02:06:04] Speaker C: That you said you were censoring criticism?
[02:06:07] Speaker A: Blue Lives matter. We're only interested in comments that are negative towards us. And those were just kind of general statements. So we leave those up. That's fine.
[02:06:13] Speaker B: Oh, so just general head assery is allowed?
[02:06:16] Speaker A: Yeah, of course. As long as they don't mention us by name.
[02:06:18] Speaker C: Well, and the hashtag helps the algorithm.
[02:06:22] Speaker B: And post a full text copy of Peter Kropotkin's the Conquest for Bread.
Classic of European anarcho communist theory. And I'm going to add a hashtag before every single word.
[02:06:41] Speaker C: Can you hit a control F on that and make it a Conquest of toast?
[02:06:48] Speaker B: Gotcha.
[02:06:48] Speaker C: Just to be on.
[02:06:49] Speaker A: That'd be ideal. Yeah.
[02:06:51] Speaker C: Okay, well, I think that the only other thing left to do is to mention you can find us on Instagram and threads at Barone Zone and Facebook.com. Slash, baroneszone. You can email us.
[email protected] obviously we've mentioned the Slash. Donate, Alex, anything else? Or are we ready to sign off?
[02:07:14] Speaker D: If I'm not mistaken, it's just time for our famous sign off, which the guest will begin. As is tradition.
[02:07:23] Speaker A: Everybody loves Raymond and we love you.
Our channel.
