Phil the Animal / 3.18 Ray Home Alone

Phil the Animal / 3.18 Ray Home Alone
The Barone Zone
Phil the Animal / 3.18 Ray Home Alone

Jan 18 2024 | 01:37:57

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Episode 18 • January 18, 2024 • 01:37:57

Show Notes

As Mike G takes most of his nephews on a field trip to Rockville Centre, Adam and Alex do a wellness check on the one he forgot, and believe it or not, everyone they meet along the way has something to say about Season 3, Episode 18 of Everybody Loves Raymond, "Ray Home Alone."

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Body count: 0!

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Episode Transcript

[00:00:00] Speaker A: You. [00:00:01] Speaker B: Attention, passengers of air Lynbrook. This is your captain speaking. We are here flying from Lynbrook to Rockville center. Yes. We have achieved an altitude of 45ft. Please leave your seatbelts as. [00:00:26] Speaker C: Uncle Mike. G. Uncle Mike? [00:00:27] Speaker A: G? [00:00:28] Speaker C: Is that. [00:00:29] Speaker D: No, no. But it's not Sully. Sully was fired, okay? Don't worry about it. [00:00:35] Speaker C: We love Sully. [00:00:36] Speaker D: I know we love just. But he crashed too many planes, okay? He did. And I met him in person, let's say. I ever tell you that story. [00:00:46] Speaker A: Wow. [00:00:47] Speaker C: You met Sully Sullenberger? [00:00:50] Speaker D: That's the guy? Yeah, I saw him. I met him. He kind of sucked. I'm not going to lie. He was not a great person. I'll go by G. Yeah, Tommy, what's up? [00:01:01] Speaker C: Why is there a plane that flies. [00:01:04] Speaker E: From Limbrook to Rockville center? [00:01:07] Speaker D: Well, how else are we supposed to get there? [00:01:10] Speaker C: The li r. Oh, wait, I forgot. Mom said that you got banned from the Li r. Yeah, because of what happened. [00:01:20] Speaker D: Because of the incident. Yeah, that's right. So we're not allowed to go there. Even though I wanted to be clear, Uncle Mike did nothing wrong. Okay? It was the conductor that was being an ass hat. It was all his fault. But as a result, we're kind of bad. So we got to take the plane. [00:01:37] Speaker C: It's okay. [00:01:38] Speaker D: This is fun, right? [00:01:39] Speaker E: I just say it's down the block. [00:01:41] Speaker D: But it's like a three hour flight. Yeah, no, we're going all around the world. That's the move around the world. [00:01:48] Speaker C: I love that song. [00:01:49] Speaker D: Yeah. Oh, well, we're not listening to it now. It brings up some bad memories for Mike over here, but, yeah, no, it was fun today, right? We got to go into the airport. You got to be barefoot for a little while. [00:02:04] Speaker A: It was great. [00:02:04] Speaker C: Yeah. Barefoot at the airport. The best and most hygienic thing. [00:02:10] Speaker D: It was awesome. I'm glad that you enjoyed it, Billy. [00:02:13] Speaker C: I think it was hard for Tyler with his germaphobia, and he does still seem a little shell shocked. But I'm sure he'll be fine. Right? [00:02:27] Speaker D: Yeah. How you doing there? Over there, Tyler? You see, Tyler is just dead eyes and you just see a void. [00:02:37] Speaker C: He's looking at the back of the seat, but there's no screen. There's no movie. It's too short of flight. [00:02:43] Speaker E: Look at the Headrest, Tyler. [00:02:44] Speaker D: The seatbelt doesn't work that way. You got to turn around. You can look at the back of the seat. You can't turn around. [00:02:56] Speaker C: Yeah, that's what meant. [00:03:00] Speaker D: Yeah. Now we've got to be careful because once we touch down in Rockville center, we got to run to the rock museum. Okay? And I know that I got to. [00:03:10] Speaker C: Have everybody here because our hall of fame. [00:03:13] Speaker D: Yeah, exactly. That's what this town is named after. Rockville center. The center of the rocks. We went over this history lesson, right? Yeah. Okay. But our tickets are only good from 340 to 04:00 p.m. So we really got to book it because our flight lands at 333. Okay, everyone ready to run? [00:03:35] Speaker E: I'm ready. [00:03:36] Speaker D: Right, Billy? Right, Tommy? [00:03:39] Speaker E: I'm not. [00:03:40] Speaker D: No, Tommy. Fuck. [00:03:42] Speaker C: Sorry. No, he was right. [00:03:44] Speaker D: Tommy, we're in public here. Can't talk like that. [00:03:49] Speaker E: Sorry. Should I not say? [00:03:51] Speaker D: No, you can say that. You just can't say fuck. [00:03:54] Speaker E: You said ass hat. [00:03:55] Speaker D: I didn't say. Okay, Bolt. [00:03:56] Speaker C: You screamed it at the ticket agent at the gate. You screamed ass hat being an ass hat. [00:04:04] Speaker D: What do you want from me? [00:04:05] Speaker C: You were showing your shoprite loyalty card on your phone instead of your boarding. Instead of your boarding. You were getting so mad that they wouldn't let you on the plane. You didn't even have the app installed, that you had a paper boarding pass. [00:04:30] Speaker E: You're like a screenshot. [00:04:32] Speaker D: Listen, they said I was a valued customer. I don't see what's more value than being allowed on planes for. [00:04:40] Speaker A: Don't. [00:04:40] Speaker D: Anyway, that doesn't matter. Okay, let's do a roll call, make sure everybody's here. We got Billy here. Tommy. Ass hat, you're a thin fucking ice. Tommy. And Tyler. It's excellent. And Kevin. [00:05:01] Speaker C: Mike, Ollie. [00:05:04] Speaker D: Mike. [00:05:04] Speaker C: Ollie is my colleague here. He's supposed to be in four f. My colleague. My colleague. [00:05:12] Speaker D: Oh, my God. [00:05:13] Speaker A: Collie, we forgot him. We forgot Mike. We forgot my colleague. [00:05:37] Speaker B: Hey, Alex. Hey, Adam, it's your boy. It's Mike G here. [00:05:43] Speaker C: Listen, Alex, the answering machine is running. Get over there because you know full. So if we don't. Listen. [00:05:51] Speaker E: Hang on. I got it. [00:05:52] Speaker D: You see? [00:05:53] Speaker E: Alex unplugs the answering machine. [00:05:57] Speaker C: Oh, wait. I'm getting a call. Hold on. I'm getting a call on my BlackBerry. Hold on. Hello? [00:06:03] Speaker B: Hey, Adam. I don't know what happened. I think the fucking answering machine broke or something. [00:06:13] Speaker A: Shut up, Cameron. [00:06:15] Speaker C: Are you with your nephews? Anyway, I love your nephews. [00:06:21] Speaker B: Yeah, no, they're great. They're great. [00:06:22] Speaker C: Tyler, Billy, Tommy, my colleague. [00:06:25] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, you got them. That's all of them. [00:06:28] Speaker C: No, I was talking about my dog. Sorry, what's your fourth nephew's name? [00:06:32] Speaker B: My colleague. [00:06:35] Speaker C: What's up? Thanks, Alex. [00:06:40] Speaker B: I know you might know all of my nephews. And that's great. Apparently, I don't. We're going to the rock museum in Rockville center, and we're on the plane right now. We're going to be circling for a few hours while we get clearance to land. We really got to run to the rock museum. But Mike Collie is by himself in a house with a lot of sharp objects and dangerous materials. Could you do me a favor and just go and check over on him and make sure he didn't impale himself? [00:07:10] Speaker C: Where is he? Whose house is this that you're describing? [00:07:13] Speaker B: He's at my house. [00:07:14] Speaker C: Oh, you have a house? Yeah. When did you get a house? You used to live in the closet above the garage at town hall. I mean, apartment. [00:07:22] Speaker B: Yeah, that's. I got. Right. That's my primary living residence, but I. [00:07:26] Speaker C: Have a rental property. [00:07:31] Speaker B: And that's where he's at. Right. [00:07:34] Speaker E: Hang on. [00:07:35] Speaker C: Alex wants to talk to you. [00:07:37] Speaker E: Give me the phone. Mike, have you seen my tap shoes? Adam says he didn't move them, but I can't find them in my closet. Did you move. [00:07:48] Speaker D: To. [00:07:49] Speaker B: Wanted to play with him. He's like an avocado. [00:07:50] Speaker D: God damn it. [00:07:51] Speaker E: You're no help to me. All right, let's go get Macaulay. [00:07:54] Speaker C: Okay. Let's get in the. [00:07:58] Speaker E: Maybe he knows where my tap shoes are. [00:07:59] Speaker C: I hope so. You have been, by the way, since your last dance recital. You've been getting so good. Your regular Bob Fosse. [00:08:08] Speaker E: Thanks, Adam. If I knew who that was, I'm sure it'd mean a lot. Let's go. [00:08:11] Speaker C: Let's go. [00:08:12] Speaker E: Oh, and while we're running here, let me. [00:08:14] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, let's run. Did you wait stretch. Well, let's stretch while you do this. [00:08:20] Speaker E: All right. This is everybody loves. Everybody loves. I ran out of things to stretch Raymond. I'm your host, Alex Shear, and I'm here with Adam Rudy, as always. [00:08:31] Speaker C: Hello. [00:08:33] Speaker E: That gentleman on the plane is Mike G. And he's very irresponsible. This is the show where we talk about everybody loves Raymond one episode at a time. As usual, we're just coming back from our super long holiday hiatus, and we're happy to be back. Today's episode, we are talking about Ray home alone. I'm sure it's going to be a blast. Season three, episode 18. Seems like we have a comedically similar event happening here, which is very different from what normally happens. So let's see what goes on here. [00:09:03] Speaker C: What a coincidence. What's this episode about, Alex? [00:09:07] Speaker E: That's a great question, Deborah. And the kids leave to visit Deborah's parents. And Rey is left home alone for a night. After spending time with the boys and actually being home alone, he realizes that he fucking hates it and spends the rest of his night trying to fill it with family and loved ones, to which hilarity ensues. [00:09:27] Speaker C: Indeed. [00:09:29] Speaker E: Yeah. Where's Mike's house? [00:09:32] Speaker C: I don't. Mike, hold on. I think the only way to find out is to go on Airbnb and search. Ratings low to high. [00:09:42] Speaker E: Yeah. Lowest rating. [00:09:44] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. There it is. Number one, Limbrook. One weekend, flexible. Ratings low to high. Oh, my God. He's charging $20 a night. [00:09:53] Speaker E: Oh, my God. Oh, look. [00:09:54] Speaker C: One star review. Motel six. Yeah. [00:09:56] Speaker E: Would not recommend my uncle left me home alone. [00:09:59] Speaker D: This is it. [00:09:59] Speaker C: Oh, wow. That was from ten minutes ago. Okay. [00:10:02] Speaker D: Yeah, let's go. [00:10:02] Speaker C: Hold on. We don't get the address unless we book, so let me just. Quickly. And. Good. I have Mike's debit card saved to my phone, so that's easy. Okay. [00:10:13] Speaker E: Why don't you tip him, too? [00:10:15] Speaker C: I'll tip him $2. [00:10:17] Speaker E: All right. [00:10:19] Speaker D: Oh, hey, I get $22. Oh, hey, I spent $22. That was a bit of a roller coaster there. [00:10:33] Speaker E: Talk about in the mouth, out the ass, right, Uncle Mike? [00:10:38] Speaker D: Tommy, we have got to work on your to. You got to learn how to say these things appropriately. You know what? We're going to put on Scarface. I think that'll teach you a few things. Okay. Here. Just pay attention. [00:10:52] Speaker C: Wow. This is big. The facade is incredible. What would you call this? Neoclassical? [00:11:01] Speaker E: I guess that's one word to describe it. Another word to describe it would be house. [00:11:07] Speaker C: Yeah. And if you put them together, you really can get a good picture of what we're looking at here. [00:11:12] Speaker E: Yep. It certainly is a building with a roof and a door in the front. [00:11:18] Speaker C: Why is he still decorated for Christmas? It's, like, mid January. [00:11:23] Speaker E: I don't know. Mike just seems like the kind of guy who would leave his decorations up until, like, mid February, so that actually. [00:11:31] Speaker C: Yeah. He gets so depressed on Valentine's Day when he's alone that he finally works up the muster to take his decorations. [00:11:42] Speaker E: I'm really glad he's not here to defend himself. How about we start by ringing the doorbell? [00:11:49] Speaker A: Okay. [00:11:49] Speaker C: Bing bong, bing bong, bing bong, bing bong. [00:11:56] Speaker A: Where's the pizza at? Begins. [00:11:59] Speaker C: It's not the, um. Have we met the child, Alex? [00:12:06] Speaker E: I don't know. I was hoping you'd know. [00:12:07] Speaker C: I'm sure at a party or something. Yeah, at Mike's. Pool party where we all played billiards. He. I believe he kicked my ass at billiards. [00:12:17] Speaker E: I forget if this was the kid I threw into the cooler or the jacuzzi. [00:12:22] Speaker C: No, this was the kid that threw you into the cooler and then into the jacuzzi. Oh, fuck that kid. Yeah, he's weird. He's weird and inventive. No, it's not us. Should we do Mr. We're not the pizza? Should we do Mr. Sheer? [00:12:43] Speaker D: I guess. [00:12:46] Speaker C: Should we do Mr. S and Mr. R? [00:12:49] Speaker E: I like that. [00:12:50] Speaker C: Okay. You think he'll recognize us just from that? [00:12:55] Speaker E: That doesn't sound super predatory. [00:12:57] Speaker C: What? Come again? [00:12:59] Speaker A: I said get away from my doorstep. [00:13:05] Speaker C: We work with your uncle. [00:13:07] Speaker E: He asked us to come check on you. [00:13:09] Speaker C: Which one? Mike G. Uncle Mike G? [00:13:13] Speaker A: Yeah, the rat bastard that left me behind. [00:13:19] Speaker C: Yeah, about that. He called us. He said he's so sorry. I don't know why he didn't call you, but he. [00:13:32] Speaker D: Why don't you call him? [00:13:34] Speaker C: And to order pizza. [00:13:37] Speaker A: It was my idea to go to the museum and he left behind. [00:13:43] Speaker C: Well, he wanted us to come over and just make sure you're okay. Maybe give you some activities. [00:13:52] Speaker A: Let me get this straight. Guys claim to know a family member that you can give different. I don't know you. [00:14:03] Speaker E: Goddamn it. [00:14:03] Speaker C: You just open the door. You beat us up once. [00:14:07] Speaker A: No, you guys are weebs. [00:14:09] Speaker C: Yeah, fine, if that helps. [00:14:11] Speaker D: No. [00:14:14] Speaker A: For a $50 solid meal with on billion, do you want to ragmuk? [00:14:18] Speaker E: Adam, let me handle this, okay? [00:14:20] Speaker C: Please. [00:14:21] Speaker E: Little twerp. If you don't open this door, we're going to kick it down and hit you. [00:14:25] Speaker D: We'll hit you. [00:14:25] Speaker C: No, stop. [00:14:27] Speaker A: I'd like to see you. Truly. I'll show you. [00:14:32] Speaker C: Oh, he does recognize you. [00:14:33] Speaker D: Okay. What the hell is Mike teaching this kid? [00:14:38] Speaker C: Let's turn the temperature down. We know where Mike is. Where are your parents? Your parents, your biologicals or adopted? We don't know. [00:14:50] Speaker A: Oh, no. They went on a business trip to meet me with the trusted adult. Turns out they don't have very good judgment either, I guess. [00:14:59] Speaker C: Yeah. The adults in your life are really failing you, aren't they? What kind of business are they in? [00:15:05] Speaker A: Fucking bald. [00:15:07] Speaker E: Whatever. I'm going to try. [00:15:14] Speaker C: All right. His parents are suit models. I forgot they work at men's warehouse. [00:15:18] Speaker E: Whatever. And women. I'm just going to open the door, okay. [00:15:26] Speaker C: Hot. [00:15:26] Speaker E: Oh, the doorknob is, like, burning hot. [00:15:29] Speaker C: Let me try. Oh, shit. [00:15:32] Speaker D: And look, hold on. [00:15:34] Speaker A: Try again now. [00:15:35] Speaker C: Okay, I'll use my other hand. [00:15:39] Speaker D: Now. [00:15:39] Speaker E: It's cold. [00:15:40] Speaker C: How do you do that? [00:15:43] Speaker E: There's an m brand on my hand now. [00:15:46] Speaker C: M for Mike. Well, if you turn it this way, it looks like a three, at least. [00:15:50] Speaker E: And if you turn it this way, it looks like a w for winner. [00:15:53] Speaker C: And of course, the last option. [00:15:55] Speaker E: E. I like e. What are we doing here again? [00:16:01] Speaker C: Can you please. Look, if you don't let us in, we're going to have to call the. As much as I hate to do it, we're going to have to call the police. [00:16:09] Speaker D: No, it's Maya Huggins. [00:16:14] Speaker C: It's called a wellness check. [00:16:17] Speaker E: Whatever. [00:16:18] Speaker A: Fine. What do you want? Some medicine. [00:16:21] Speaker E: We have to make sure you don't play with any dangerous things in there. [00:16:25] Speaker A: Uncle Mike left an entire arsenal open. The bathroom. And that's. [00:16:30] Speaker E: Yeah, we gotta get. [00:16:30] Speaker A: It's fun. [00:16:33] Speaker C: Oh, my God. [00:16:34] Speaker E: This kid couldn't have possibly secured the entire house. There's a million entrances. [00:16:39] Speaker C: Yeah, you know what? [00:16:40] Speaker D: Let's just walk around. [00:16:41] Speaker C: You walk around. I'll distract him. Because if he knows that we're looking for an entrance, he'll ask him what he thought of. Exactly what I was going to do. Alex. [00:16:48] Speaker A: Hell, yeah. [00:16:48] Speaker C: Hell, I'm a sneak around red stole. [00:16:52] Speaker A: On fire, and I'm now driving it around with the remote control hot wheels. This is awesome. [00:16:57] Speaker D: Hey. [00:16:57] Speaker C: Hey. I like fire as much as the next guy, but you know what I really want to talk to you about? You don't have to let us in. That's fine, as long as we know that you're safe. You didn't happen to have the tv on and catch a little glimpse of this week's episode of Everybody loves Rain? And just to reset this for you, in case you don't know, Alex is the mayor of Limbrook and he passed a law that every week we have to watch a different episode of Everybody loves Raymond. And it gets shown on every screen in town. [00:17:35] Speaker A: Every sentence that you say to me. That's my stranger danger sentence. [00:17:45] Speaker C: No, this one will be fine. This one will show you that. [00:17:49] Speaker A: And they're now a mayor. [00:17:52] Speaker C: No, but this will be fine. This will really make you trust us and think we're good guys. We have a podcast. It's called everybody loves everybody loves Raymond. And we listen to people just like you from the town of Limbrook give their opinions on the episode of Everybody loves Raymond that we show. You're from New Jersey? [00:18:12] Speaker A: Yeah, my parents just drove me there because this is where Uncle Mike is. [00:18:16] Speaker C: Did they happen to take the path or. [00:18:19] Speaker A: No, they took the turnpike. [00:18:21] Speaker C: Okay? They took the turnpike to what? The George Washington. [00:18:24] Speaker A: And then, well, we did the Verizono and all that jazz. Yeah. [00:18:28] Speaker C: Oh, okay. So you're coming from central or Trenton? [00:18:39] Speaker A: Yeah. Look at that. Go, ankles. [00:18:44] Speaker C: So this episode was about Ray Barone being afraid of the dark. Have you ever been afraid of the dark? [00:18:53] Speaker D: Are you a child to Alex at. [00:18:56] Speaker E: The electricity box trying to snip the wires? [00:18:59] Speaker A: No, I'm not afraid of the dark at all. It's great. Love the dark. [00:19:02] Speaker C: It's great. Love the dark. [00:19:04] Speaker A: Well, then you sneak around and nobody knows where you're going, and then you can do whatever you want. [00:19:11] Speaker C: Oh. So you must not have anyone in. Your parents must not tell you scary stories like Frank told Ray and Robert when they were growing up. [00:19:20] Speaker A: They tell them exclusively in Tyler because he's a scary cat in the family and it's fun to watch. [00:19:25] Speaker C: They're trying to toughen him up. [00:19:27] Speaker A: I don't know. For me, it's just funny. [00:19:32] Speaker C: Do they tell you stories about leprechauns or anything like that? [00:19:37] Speaker A: Yeah, but not like a scary thing. It seems like leprechauns were scary in his thing. But to be honest with know, we come from irish heritage. They're just know I'm a violent child from New Jersey. [00:19:52] Speaker D: Of course. [00:19:57] Speaker A: It'S know leprechauns aren't anything to be scared of. They're just like. They're the equivalent of mermaids or Tony Soprano. All good stuff. [00:20:10] Speaker C: Did Tony Soprano bring you anything special for Christmas this year? Yeah, I know that's how New Jersey Christmas works. [00:20:19] Speaker A: That's 100% right. He brought me a canoli signed by Bruce Springsteen and that's about it. It was great. [00:20:31] Speaker C: Okay, good. So you can't really relate to Ray and Robert's traumatic childhood of they're scaring cats. You think? What do you think about Marie? I sort of picked up on a little symbiotic relationship there, or what you might call a traumatic cycle of behaviors where Frank. Frank scares them and then they run to Marie for comfort. And we know that Marie is all about. She wants to be the caretaker at all times. So it just perpetuates this cycle. I thought that was interesting about the family dynamic. What do you think? [00:21:12] Speaker A: I guess I agree. It was fairly interesting in that regard, I suppose. I just don't know. I feel like I don't remember. How old were they supposed to be when they were hearing these stories? [00:21:27] Speaker C: I guess children old enough that actually, that is a really good question. I think the implication is that they'd be under ten. [00:21:37] Speaker E: Ring ring. [00:21:38] Speaker C: Adam hold on, my phone razor is ringing. Yes. [00:21:43] Speaker E: Are you talking about how old Ray might have been when he was a kid? [00:21:47] Speaker C: Indeed. [00:21:47] Speaker E: He mentioned he was six. [00:21:49] Speaker C: Thank you. That's so welcome. [00:21:50] Speaker E: I'm going to keep sneaking into this kid's house. [00:21:53] Speaker C: Okay. [00:21:53] Speaker E: Did you find about a chainsaw? [00:21:55] Speaker C: Excellent. But also look and see if any windows are open. Just. [00:22:01] Speaker E: Oh shit, there's an open window. Okay, I'm going to leave this chainsaw here for later. [00:22:05] Speaker C: Thank God he was six. That's two years younger than you. [00:22:13] Speaker A: Six? Yeah, no, I was a little bit of a scaredy cat back then. [00:22:18] Speaker C: Yeah, and now you've grown and changed and matured. [00:22:22] Speaker A: Damn right. I'm ready to fight. [00:22:26] Speaker C: Speaking of fighting, what did you think of Ray and Robert's brief argument in that scene in Marie and Frank's kitchen where Ray's retort to Robert is, shut up, ass of the world. And then Robert replies, you shut up, schmuck of the whole neighborhood. [00:22:46] Speaker A: That was pretty funny. I kind of like that. [00:22:50] Speaker C: It did. Just because of the specificity of the insults and the weird grammatical construction of them. [00:22:59] Speaker A: Okay. Stuck out to me, but I just kind of chuckled and started continued to tear the arms off my GI Joe. [00:23:12] Speaker C: Oh, really? Interesting. Well, better that than an animal, I suppose. [00:23:17] Speaker A: No, I ran out of animals a while ago. [00:23:20] Speaker C: What? [00:23:20] Speaker A: Ring, ring, ring. [00:23:21] Speaker C: Hold on, my nokia is ringing. Yes. [00:23:27] Speaker D: Ornaments. Alex, I'm in the house like there's. [00:23:28] Speaker E: A trap sitter as well. [00:23:30] Speaker D: It's Christmas. Ornaments everywhere. Animals. I'm Trevor. And honey. Got to help me, man. I got to know what to do. My shirt's ripped off. [00:23:36] Speaker A: Oh God, the bees. Here come the bee. [00:23:40] Speaker C: Oh my God. [00:23:45] Speaker A: No, wait. [00:23:47] Speaker C: The door was unlocked this whole time and it's cooled down. Let me just push my way in here. Okay. [00:23:55] Speaker D: Big bucket of pink flies at Adamus's as he walks. [00:24:00] Speaker C: Oh, God. Well, I was planning on dyeing my hair, so this is fine. [00:24:07] Speaker D: The lights shut off. [00:24:10] Speaker C: Okay, everyone take your seats. We're going to be landing in Rockville center in just a few minutes. We'll be performing our last walk through the cabin to pick up any garbage that you may. [00:24:23] Speaker D: Hey, take my kids. You know what I mean, sir. [00:24:27] Speaker C: Go. [00:24:28] Speaker E: Hey, Uncle Mike, don't fuck me. Don't you ever fuck me. [00:24:32] Speaker D: Tommy. Tommy, I've never done that to you. Never would I want to do that to you. Please stop yelling that out in a room full of strangers. [00:24:41] Speaker E: You're the one who put on Scarface. [00:24:43] Speaker D: Oh, that's right, I did. Oh, wait, okay, I forgot about that scene, but my point is, you see how Scarface was going through a very stressful situation, you see, and then he. [00:24:54] Speaker E: Learned the true meaning of Christmas. [00:24:56] Speaker D: That wasn't the point of the movie. [00:24:58] Speaker E: Well, I turned it off with 20 minutes left. [00:25:01] Speaker D: Okay, so you just saw the big pile of cocaine and thought that was snow? Is that what you're telling Christmas? [00:25:11] Speaker C: Christmas time is here? [00:25:14] Speaker E: What do you think, Tyler? [00:25:18] Speaker C: See, sir, you're going to need to get control of these kids. It's going to be a bumpy landing. We've already decided no. [00:25:24] Speaker D: And you decide. [00:25:26] Speaker C: Yeah. I got to go. By the way, I've asked you to stop talking to me. And if you do again, I'm going to get the Marshall involved. So please. [00:25:38] Speaker D: And. Damn, she really put me in a rocket. A hard place on that one. That sucked. Billy, time to put the tray away. We're going up. You got to put it up. We're going down. [00:25:51] Speaker C: All right. Will you hold my play doh so it doesn't get. [00:25:56] Speaker D: Course. Of course I will. [00:25:58] Speaker C: Thank you. [00:25:58] Speaker D: No problem. No problem. Yeah, that'll be fine. [00:26:02] Speaker C: Do you want to know what I made? [00:26:04] Speaker D: What did you make? [00:26:05] Speaker C: I made a fertility goddess. [00:26:07] Speaker D: Oh, my God. [00:26:09] Speaker E: I made a poop. [00:26:11] Speaker D: You made a what? [00:26:12] Speaker C: Yeah, he keeps mixing all of mine together to make brown, and it was funny the first time, but I kind of miss my know. [00:26:22] Speaker D: Okay, got it. Tommy, I'm going to need you to pick apart poop and give back what you're owed. Actually, this is a perfect time, Billy. Tommy. Tyler. Did you see the show that put a fair while you're flying? The show of everybody loves Raymond? [00:26:46] Speaker C: Yeah, they pulled down the big old school projector screen and we all had to watch it. [00:26:51] Speaker E: Yeah, the plane stopped flying and just stayed there in midair while. [00:26:55] Speaker C: 22 minutes. Yeah. [00:26:57] Speaker D: There you go. That's the magic of this is why you become friends with the mayor, so that you can have this power at your disposal. [00:27:05] Speaker C: I really like the mayor. [00:27:08] Speaker D: You shut your mouth. [00:27:09] Speaker C: He smells like beans. [00:27:11] Speaker E: And sadness. [00:27:13] Speaker C: Mostly beans. [00:27:15] Speaker D: I was going to beans, I can believe. He seems like a pretty happy guy to me. [00:27:21] Speaker C: You're not around that many beans unless you've got some personal issues. [00:27:26] Speaker D: Plus, that's an interesting point. That's a very interesting point here. [00:27:30] Speaker C: Well, you know our dad. [00:27:34] Speaker D: Yeah, my brother. Yes. [00:27:36] Speaker C: Yeah. So you've seen how many beans that guy goes through. [00:27:41] Speaker D: I do remember in college, he would just sit down and just put away cans of beans with nothing but a can opener and a spoon. It was honestly kind of impressive. [00:27:52] Speaker E: Yeah, he'd open the can with the spoon and then shovel the beans in his mouth with the can opener. That man was an anomaly. [00:28:03] Speaker C: We got a letter from the president of Goya thanking us just as a household. [00:28:12] Speaker D: Well, did Mr. Goya know that it was really just your brother? [00:28:15] Speaker C: Excuse me. Excuse me, senor. [00:28:18] Speaker E: All right, Mr. Senor, we get it. [00:28:20] Speaker D: I'm sorry, senor Goya, I apologize. That's. [00:28:23] Speaker C: That's right. [00:28:23] Speaker D: Right. I want you to tell me, in detail. What was your opinion on this episode as a whole? Do you think it was funny? Where do you think it ranks in terms of all the ever Bailey dreaming episodes that you've seen? [00:28:38] Speaker C: Safe? [00:28:41] Speaker D: It ranks six. Out of how many? [00:28:44] Speaker C: 252 or whatever it is. [00:28:47] Speaker D: Billy, what makes it rank that high? If it's number six overall top ten, why is it so high for you? [00:28:52] Speaker A: I really didn't think it was that. [00:28:53] Speaker D: Great of an episode, to be honest with you. [00:28:56] Speaker C: Well, I really liked Ray's bruise journal. I thought that was a funny little. Also, you know, we've seen yours, and it's just nice to know that you're not the only one who does that. [00:29:18] Speaker D: You guys found my Bruce Joe? [00:29:21] Speaker C: Most of the volumes one through spicy. Yeah. [00:29:27] Speaker A: Where? But those weren't confidential. [00:29:29] Speaker C: They were in your law library. [00:29:31] Speaker D: Yeah, at the rental property library. What were you doing on your law library? In my law library? [00:29:38] Speaker C: Studying the law. Just kidding. We were playing hide and. [00:29:42] Speaker D: Oh, okay. That checks out. That checks mean I was the seeker. [00:29:47] Speaker C: And I hid, and Tyler stood in the corner. [00:29:56] Speaker D: Tyler? [00:29:57] Speaker C: Tyler doesn't play with us as much anymore. [00:30:00] Speaker D: Yeah, I can tell. Your dad really has to cool with those stories towards Tyler there. I think they're. I think they're really messing them up. [00:30:08] Speaker C: Well, Iraq was hard for him. [00:30:11] Speaker D: Tyler. Well, you just said Tyler. [00:30:21] Speaker E: Three and a half. It's still in Iraq. I can't believe it. This is what I used to sound like. Ricky. What are you going to do after the war, Jimmy? [00:30:34] Speaker D: Your kid's cool. [00:30:36] Speaker A: This is the first three and a. [00:30:38] Speaker D: Half year old I've seen that smokes three packs a day. This is awesome. [00:30:42] Speaker C: Three packs a day. He smokes three packs at once. Guinness most cigarettes, Julie? In Guinness juice. [00:30:49] Speaker D: Watch. [00:30:53] Speaker C: We're under fire. We're under fire. Get down. [00:30:56] Speaker A: Get down. [00:30:58] Speaker C: Oh, shit. [00:30:59] Speaker D: Tyler. [00:30:59] Speaker C: Tyler, get down. [00:31:01] Speaker A: Oh, God. [00:31:02] Speaker C: Lewis. Lewis got hit. [00:31:04] Speaker E: Don't you die on me, son. [00:31:06] Speaker D: Don't you die on me. [00:31:08] Speaker C: Tyler. Pick him up. Pick him up and run like force, Gump. Go. [00:31:14] Speaker E: I have little baby legs. [00:31:15] Speaker D: I can't. Tyler, I'm trying. [00:31:20] Speaker A: Over your shoulder. [00:31:23] Speaker D: We see a big explosion. A truck drives by. Tyler brings her back to life with perfectly executed CPR. Tyler? [00:31:35] Speaker E: Yeah? You okay, bud? [00:31:37] Speaker D: Yeah, I'm good. Tyler, you're so cool, man. [00:31:44] Speaker E: Tell that to my father. [00:31:45] Speaker C: Those Iraq stories are hard. [00:31:48] Speaker E: Yeah, he doesn't like to talk about it. Sorry. [00:31:58] Speaker D: Yeah, that's Roxagewick. [00:32:00] Speaker C: Anyway, I thought it was pretty funny. Shin on toilet, light to medium impact. I thought that was pretty funny. Kind of relatable, like maybe when I get older. I don't know about this now, but maybe. I will also have unexplained bruises that I discover on my body just from thumping around the world. [00:32:23] Speaker E: That sounds like something that probably happens to a lot of people. [00:32:25] Speaker C: I imagine it does. [00:32:27] Speaker A: Kids. [00:32:27] Speaker D: I feel like you would be thumping around and bumping it. [00:32:29] Speaker C: We scrape our knees. Kids famously scrape their knees. Adults never scrape. [00:32:36] Speaker E: Plenty of bruises, but we know where they come from. [00:32:38] Speaker C: Yeah, okay. [00:32:40] Speaker D: I suppose that makes sense. [00:32:42] Speaker C: Mostly your law library. [00:32:44] Speaker D: Oh. [00:32:44] Speaker C: Hard landing. Everything. [00:32:51] Speaker D: Goes flying to the front of the plane because he never accessed the seatbelt. [00:32:56] Speaker C: Oh, my God. [00:32:58] Speaker D: Ow. [00:32:59] Speaker C: Alex. Alex, are you. [00:33:04] Speaker D: See? [00:33:05] Speaker C: I can't see either. Do you have. Hold on. Yes. My sony Ericsson. It has a flashlight here. Alex. Alex. [00:33:16] Speaker E: Adam, there you are. [00:33:18] Speaker D: Did you get a haircut? [00:33:20] Speaker C: Cut and color, my boy. Looks good. [00:33:23] Speaker E: It looks really good. [00:33:24] Speaker C: Thank you. Yeah, I thought blonde is a big swing for someone like me. Who you're hanging upside down from the ceiling. Are you okay? [00:33:35] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:33:36] Speaker E: The bees got bored and went away. I'm afraid that the polar bell will come back. Will you please let me down? [00:33:46] Speaker C: Yeah, let me try to get. Oh, hold on. My legs appear to be tied to. Hold on. Let me use the flashlight to this statue of Mike. [00:34:00] Speaker D: You see a tv in the corner. Flickers on with a lot of static. [00:34:04] Speaker C: Whoa. You see the fuck? [00:34:07] Speaker D: A child walks into frame, but you only see the top of his head because he's a child and he doesn't know how to adjust the camera to his height. [00:34:18] Speaker C: Is that my collie? [00:34:20] Speaker E: Does he want to play a game? [00:34:23] Speaker A: Oh, fuck. [00:34:24] Speaker D: Oh, no. Someone turn it off. This is not going to go well. Through previous experiences, I think we've got. [00:34:31] Speaker C: Like ten case studies that this is not going to go well. Is he responding to us or is he talking about something that's happening? [00:34:43] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:34:43] Speaker E: Let's ask him a question. What's your favorite color? [00:34:48] Speaker C: You guys are telling. [00:34:51] Speaker D: Yeah, it's a recording. [00:34:52] Speaker E: Oh, no. [00:34:56] Speaker A: Sir. Learned of the room. Your goal, should you choose to accept it, is to reach each other. Listen, I'm proud of myself for kidnapping two adult men. Didn't really know what to do at this point when I was going to get there. However, I will say that in the corner of the room is the cooler from the pool party. And I will not hesitate to shove you in that one, which is a much more contained area. [00:35:28] Speaker C: Okay. [00:35:29] Speaker E: All right. Well, anyway, wait, I have a question. [00:35:31] Speaker C: Can I ask a follow up question? [00:35:33] Speaker E: It's a recording. [00:35:35] Speaker C: Wait. [00:35:38] Speaker A: Okay, what's your question? [00:35:40] Speaker D: Oh God damn it. This fucking kid. [00:35:43] Speaker E: I hate him. [00:35:44] Speaker A: Shut up, shut up. [00:35:45] Speaker C: I predicted your protest, my colleague. [00:35:50] Speaker A: Yeah, that's me. [00:35:55] Speaker C: Does the saw that's in the center of the room have anything to do with this or is that from something else? [00:36:01] Speaker A: Oh shit, I forgot that. Yeah, they left that trying to make an extra. You have to chop off Mike's head with the saw. [00:36:11] Speaker C: Chop off Mike's head with the saw. But Mike's not. [00:36:13] Speaker E: But he's not here. [00:36:14] Speaker C: Oh, did he record this for. [00:36:18] Speaker A: It? [00:36:19] Speaker C: What? [00:36:20] Speaker A: Yeah, that's it. You got to chop off his head. [00:36:22] Speaker C: I think he recorded this for Mike. [00:36:25] Speaker E: Or is he referring to the statue of Mike? [00:36:27] Speaker C: I don't know. He's giving us a lot of hints. [00:36:35] Speaker E: It's almost like. [00:36:38] Speaker C: All right, getting frustrated. [00:36:40] Speaker E: I'm tired of you. [00:36:42] Speaker C: Can you reach out of any tv to turn it off? [00:36:46] Speaker E: Yeah, it's like right in front of me. So anyway, I guess we have to reach each other. Yeah, I'm kind of envisioning we have to kind of get into the same position that Ray and Robert were in, in the closet when they were trying to scare Frank. What'd you think of that scene, by the way, while we continuously crawl to each other for the next five to seven minutes? [00:37:06] Speaker C: Yeah, let me try to just belly crawl across the floor. I thought that was pretty funny. The one thing I want to point out about that, first of all, I don't know if you noticed this. In Frank and Marie's closet is a bag that says Bermuda on the top shelf. So that is a little bit of continuity right there from last week when Marie took a cruise to Bermuda. [00:37:32] Speaker E: That is pretty cool. I like that. I didn't realize that. It's almost like they wrote this show and shot it in order. [00:37:41] Speaker C: It feels like a little Easter egg or it's just a complete coincidence. But yeah, that scene was funny. Them plotting in whispers and getting very excited about the prospect of pranking Frank. [00:37:54] Speaker E: I will say I feel like that scene was very predictable. Like you knew exactly where it was going from the beginning. [00:38:01] Speaker C: As soon as Frank chimed in, I knew he wasn't actually talking to Marie, so that little bit of surprise didn't really hit. [00:38:10] Speaker E: It was cute. It was well executed. I think it was probably the best scene of the episode. Still, like, it was a fine joke. I liked it. It was a cool little setting. Kind of felt really different from what we normally see in the show. Very claustrophobic, which I appreciated. [00:38:27] Speaker C: Yeah, that's interesting. That's a good point. And more time in Marie and Frank's bedroom, which I'm sure we all. And we got to see a little further downstage than we did last time. Absolutely. Yeah. But beyond just the set design, I will say Frank addressing Marie off screen, sexily, sexually, and then his oh, yeah. Was pretty funny. And then they burst out, find him standing there all smuggly. [00:38:57] Speaker E: It's a pretty good oh, yeah. I also want to see, like, an alternate timeline where Ray and, like, decide that it's best to not reveal themselves and to just suffer. And then they have to listen to Frank make pretend orgasmo noises for the next, like, half an hour. [00:39:14] Speaker C: That wouldn't be very funny. [00:39:15] Speaker E: I want to see that episode. [00:39:17] Speaker C: Luckily, I mean, Frank clearly knows them well enough to know that they wouldn't do that otherwise. He is setting himself up for either giving himself away, making them think that he is a premature ejaculator, or setting himself up for 30 minutes of moaning and groaning. [00:39:35] Speaker E: And none of that is ideal for Frank. [00:39:37] Speaker C: No. [00:39:38] Speaker E: So you know what he called it? He got him. [00:39:42] Speaker C: I also liked them shouting at him. You're a sick man. [00:39:46] Speaker E: You're a sick man. [00:39:48] Speaker C: You're sick. Yeah, no, great scene. Oh, hold on. I think I'm at the end of my tether here. [00:39:57] Speaker E: Oh, should I start crawling? [00:39:58] Speaker C: Yeah, I mean, if you can. If you can get down, maybe like, shimmy down the pole a little bit. [00:40:06] Speaker D: Okay. [00:40:06] Speaker E: Here, let me see. Okay, let's do that. And that. Carry the two. And I cannot get down. [00:40:13] Speaker C: Fuck. [00:40:14] Speaker E: Well, you can reach the saw now, right? [00:40:16] Speaker C: Yeah, I mean, I can reach the saw. I was trying to get to you. [00:40:19] Speaker E: Throw it. [00:40:19] Speaker C: Okay. Yeah. [00:40:22] Speaker D: Ow. [00:40:23] Speaker C: Oh, fuck. Clean off your hand. Clean off the wrist. [00:40:28] Speaker E: Great. That's not canon. I got the saw. I'm going through another six seasons with one hand. [00:40:35] Speaker C: Asshole. [00:40:36] Speaker E: I'm cutting the rope. [00:40:37] Speaker C: Well, I'm sure they can reattach it. Alex falls down from the ceiling. Okay, can you undo me as well and then we can get out of here? [00:40:48] Speaker A: Sure. [00:40:48] Speaker E: You do me, I do you. There you just. There you go. You're free now. [00:40:54] Speaker C: Oh, thank God. [00:40:55] Speaker E: So the exit's literally right there. But I think as responsible adults, we should venture further into this house. [00:41:01] Speaker C: I think we have to make sure that the kid is okay. Clearly these traps of his are a little haphazard, and I wouldn't want him to hurt himself. [00:41:12] Speaker E: Absolutely. [00:41:13] Speaker C: Wait, hold on. Give me the sawback real quick. We never cut Mike's head off. Let's see if there's anything here. [00:41:18] Speaker E: You. Yeah. [00:41:21] Speaker D: As soon as the snick happens, you guys hear a cage slide to the side. [00:41:30] Speaker C: What the fuck? [00:41:32] Speaker D: Start moving. [00:41:33] Speaker C: What the fuck? [00:41:34] Speaker E: God damn it. [00:41:34] Speaker D: The polar bear. As you start to run, you guys see a bag swing down, collide into this creature, and coins scatter all over the place. You then see. And then. [00:41:48] Speaker E: Oh, my God. We got pilgrimed him. [00:41:50] Speaker D: The door opens. Mike Collie sticks out and says, hey, guys. [00:42:00] Speaker A: The animal. Keep down here. Change who, Phil? The animal. [00:42:07] Speaker D: Close the door. [00:42:12] Speaker E: That was good. A little forced, Macaulay, but you know what he said? Keep the change. Fill the animal. [00:42:22] Speaker C: Oh, I see. [00:42:23] Speaker E: It was a really smart joke. [00:42:25] Speaker C: It was layered for, like. [00:42:28] Speaker E: It was like a seven layer joke. [00:42:30] Speaker C: Where are we now? [00:42:32] Speaker E: We're still in the fucking living room. Okay, we got to move somewhere. [00:42:35] Speaker C: All right, let's go through. Oh, he's got one of those cut through kitchens like Marie and Frank had. [00:42:43] Speaker E: Yeah. McAuley. [00:42:44] Speaker C: Mike. Hey, what's up? Who are you? Introduce yourself. [00:42:52] Speaker D: Hey, I'm Joe. I have another Airbnb. I heard all you guys here, but this is a rental. [00:43:00] Speaker C: Wait, are you staying here? [00:43:01] Speaker D: Yeah, they're like jumping robes here. [00:43:04] Speaker E: Nice to meet you, man. How's your spirit? I have to ask. [00:43:08] Speaker D: So far it's fine. I thought it was all right, and then power went out coming through here. A lot of yelling. Kids, lights cut out. I've given it a four out of ten, to be honest. Not really a big fan. [00:43:26] Speaker C: Or a two out of ten. [00:43:28] Speaker D: There's a response? Yeah. Two out of five. Four out of ten. Whenever Airbnb does. I haven't written my review yet. [00:43:34] Speaker C: Is this your first Airbnb? [00:43:37] Speaker D: Yeah, pretty much. [00:43:38] Speaker C: Why are you in town, if you don't mind me asking? [00:43:41] Speaker D: I decided to check someplace out, and this seemed pretty okay. [00:43:44] Speaker C: You picked limbrook at random? [00:43:46] Speaker E: Hey, come on, Adam. This is our town. [00:43:49] Speaker C: You know you have to pay to leave, right? [00:43:52] Speaker D: Well, that's part of it. I just kind of drove in, and then they paid to get, but I said, fuck that. So I decided to see. [00:44:03] Speaker E: Population is good. I hear it in the accent. [00:44:07] Speaker D: Yeah, that's me. [00:44:08] Speaker C: Where are you from? [00:44:09] Speaker D: North Dakota. [00:44:10] Speaker C: North Dakota? [00:44:11] Speaker D: Yep. [00:44:12] Speaker C: And what's your name? Sorry. [00:44:14] Speaker D: Joe. Joe. [00:44:15] Speaker C: Joe? [00:44:15] Speaker D: Yep. [00:44:16] Speaker C: All right. [00:44:17] Speaker D: So what do you do for work, Joe? [00:44:19] Speaker E: Okay, we're just going to meet Joe. [00:44:24] Speaker D: You guys seem to be running through here. I just decided to say hi. [00:44:28] Speaker C: We're in a little bit of a stressful situation. As you can see, my friend recently had his hand chopped off. [00:44:33] Speaker D: Yeah, that seems bad. [00:44:35] Speaker C: Yeah, it's contained. [00:44:37] Speaker D: Do you want a little work on that? [00:44:39] Speaker C: Wait, are you a surgeon? [00:44:41] Speaker D: Yeah, I am. [00:44:44] Speaker E: Can you stitch it back on? [00:44:45] Speaker D: Do a lot of jobs? Yeah, sure do a lot of jobs. [00:44:47] Speaker C: Including. [00:44:50] Speaker D: You know, Donna's from a medical license, but it's there, so. [00:44:54] Speaker E: Wait, so there's a responsible adult surgeon in this house? And Mike knew that, and yet he still called us instead of this guy? To check on the kid who was in the same house as this guy. [00:45:08] Speaker C: We smash cut to a shot over Mike's shoulder of him trying to log into Airbnb, and he can't remember his password. And he got locked. [00:45:20] Speaker D: It was a password. 1234 or just password. Exclamation point. [00:45:28] Speaker C: All right, sir, you need to get off the plane or I will call Homeland security. [00:45:33] Speaker D: What do you. Get out of here. What are you talking about? [00:45:36] Speaker C: You don't tell me to get out of here. [00:45:38] Speaker D: No, you can't. It says a homeland Security. I am not home. I am not on the land. [00:45:43] Speaker C: All right, I'm going to ram you with the airplane cart. What's it called? [00:45:48] Speaker A: You're welcome to try. [00:45:49] Speaker D: Okay, listen. Okay, hey, hold on. We can do this. We don't have to do this this way. What did you think of Larry? Love streaming. [00:45:58] Speaker C: What? [00:45:59] Speaker D: I want to know your opinion on everybody loves Raven. [00:46:02] Speaker E: This week, the nephews whisper in the corner. This is why he's not married. [00:46:09] Speaker C: Well, sir, for e. What is your name? Not like you ever asked my name. I have been handing you sprites with a packet of sugar poured into it over and over on this flight. And you never once asked my name? [00:46:33] Speaker D: That's correct. But I said thank you every time. You have a name tag right there. It says attendant. That's kind of what I assumed your name was. [00:46:39] Speaker C: That's my title. If you'll look above it, you'll see my name. Eileen. [00:46:49] Speaker D: Eileen. [00:46:50] Speaker C: Sorry. [00:46:50] Speaker D: Okay. Eileen. Eileen. Attendant. That's a weird name. What is that, German? [00:46:56] Speaker C: You warmed me up a little bit. And now I'm going to hit you with the card again. I was ready to give you a chance with the card. [00:47:05] Speaker D: Tommy, you got to stop it here. Come on. [00:47:09] Speaker A: Fuck him up. [00:47:13] Speaker C: You know what? I'm just going to gradually roll over your foot, and eventually it'll steamroll you if you don't start giving me some. [00:47:21] Speaker D: Sorry. I'm sorry, Miss Attendant. [00:47:22] Speaker C: I'm sorry, Eileen. [00:47:25] Speaker D: Eileen. Sorry, Eileen, I apologize. [00:47:27] Speaker C: You will be in a second if I keep running over your foot. [00:47:36] Speaker D: I'm not sure it works grammatically, but. All right. Well, first of all, perfect name. [00:47:43] Speaker C: Thank you. [00:47:45] Speaker D: Happy with your representation in this episode. [00:47:48] Speaker C: How did you know that this episode was based on my life? [00:47:53] Speaker D: You're the Eileen. [00:47:55] Speaker C: Of course. Didn't you read the credits? Eileen? Okay. [00:48:01] Speaker E: Here and there. [00:48:03] Speaker C: Shut up, child. [00:48:06] Speaker D: Tommy, you're getting the time out. Go get Tyler off the plane. [00:48:12] Speaker C: My name is Eileen. Here and there, though. [00:48:15] Speaker D: Sure, Eileen. [00:48:16] Speaker A: Here and there. [00:48:17] Speaker C: Here and there. Yeah. It's Dutch. [00:48:20] Speaker D: Oh, that's San Francisco. Okay. [00:48:22] Speaker C: Yeah. This episode was based on my life. I once dated Ray Romano's brother. [00:48:29] Speaker D: Oh, yeah? What was that experience. [00:48:34] Speaker C: Mean? You saw it. It played out on the episode. We went on one date, we went back to his place, and then Ray showed up and ruined everything. [00:48:42] Speaker D: Oh, yeah? You didn't fuck him, Tommy. Seven years old. [00:48:49] Speaker C: I did. Ray. I mean, he's buried. Not at the time. This was many years ago. [00:49:01] Speaker D: Okay. How was it? [00:49:08] Speaker C: Well, here's what you got to know is it was many years ago, so it was old. It was sex. And, boy, was it good. [00:49:19] Speaker D: Wow. I did not realize that Ray had the talent. [00:49:21] Speaker A: That's good for. [00:49:23] Speaker C: It's the only orgasm I've ever had in my life. Yes. We did it. All. [00:49:32] Speaker A: Right. [00:49:34] Speaker D: Okay. First of all, were you. There's a lot to unpack. [00:49:41] Speaker C: You are so flustered. [00:49:42] Speaker D: I'm very flustered. [00:49:44] Speaker C: You are beat, Red. Sweating. [00:49:47] Speaker D: That Ray Romano was good at sex is not something I expected to do tonight. [00:49:51] Speaker C: He's a fantastic lover. [00:49:55] Speaker D: Okay, good for him. [00:49:56] Speaker A: Wow. [00:49:56] Speaker D: And good for you. So, wait, you started out with the brother, and then he walked in ruin, cockblopped you, and then that was the. [00:50:07] Speaker C: One thing that wasn't in this episode. I had them take it out because I know Ray is married now, and I just thought it would be more. Know, when Eileen in the show says, I'm just going to go, I'm just going to go in real life, I said, I'm just going to go. Grab me a piece of that ass. And then I grabbed Ray's ass and took him to the bedroom. [00:50:32] Speaker D: Wow. [00:50:33] Speaker C: To Robert's bedroom. To his brother's bedroom. [00:50:37] Speaker D: I had a bunch of questions about the relationship with Eileen, but it seemed to be very different than the real experience. And I feel like I more that than I could ever possibly. [00:50:47] Speaker C: I was a consultant, so obviously I can answer questions about the show. [00:50:52] Speaker D: Okay, can you tell me, was Eileen intended to be a recurring character, or did they just bring a pretty woman on to make her to kiss Robert and then move on? [00:51:03] Speaker C: Yeah. Eileen was always meant to be one and done because this episode was originally going to be a backdoor pilot, emphasis on the backdoor, for my show, Tommy backdoor, which was going to be called, if you've got time to clean, you've got time for Eileen. [00:51:22] Speaker D: That's a great name for a show. Not going to lie, it was going. [00:51:26] Speaker C: To be about the restaurant that I manage. But unfortunately, I had a whole arc in this episode that we had to cut out the network. CBS was like, there's just no room. We can't have a show about a woman. And so before we knew it, I was done. [00:51:42] Speaker D: Oh, just in general. [00:51:43] Speaker C: Yeah. This was during the less moon vez era. [00:51:48] Speaker D: Okay, that's bad. Okay. That's unfortunate. [00:51:51] Speaker A: All right. [00:51:51] Speaker D: I mean, as an adult woman, have you ever been home alone? [00:51:56] Speaker C: I'm listening. [00:51:57] Speaker D: Have you ever been home alone and then decided at midnight to go visit your siblings and parents? I didn't really understand. [00:52:08] Speaker C: I've never done that. Mainly because at midnight, I'm usually otherwise engaged. [00:52:18] Speaker D: Congratulations. Yeah. [00:52:21] Speaker C: You are sweating. You've taken out a fan, which I don't know where you got that. It's like you've never been in front of a woman before. [00:52:33] Speaker E: Uncle Mike's cheese all sweaty again. [00:52:36] Speaker D: Thank you, Tom. Yeah. I mean, it's not an experience I. [00:52:39] Speaker C: Have often, but, yeah, I can see a world where if you're an insomniac or you otherwise have trouble at time and you know that your family is going to be up and they live nearby. Why not go over with some prior warning? I guess maybe Ray and Marie's relationship. She doesn't need prior warning, but that's usually a considerate thing to do. Whenever, you know, back home, I always tell people. [00:53:12] Speaker D: Okay, Eileen, we're learning a lot about you tonight. I got a boom. All right, so, yeah, listen, I get it. I get being lonely. I do. But I feel like I don't think I've ever gotten to the point where I'm like, all right, 12:30 a.m. By the way, this entire family is up at one and two in the freaking morning. [00:53:32] Speaker C: This is fully awake, everybody. On that topic, I liked Robert's line in my scene where he said, who's ringing the doorbell? It's 1230. Not that that's late or anything like. Clearly Robert is typically an early sleeper. So it's just interesting. [00:53:54] Speaker D: He seems to be the kind of guy that would do that. Yeah, absolutely. [00:53:57] Speaker C: Maybe it's a full moon or mercury is in retrograde during all this. I'm very astrological. I was going to say what's your sign? I'm an Aries. What are you? [00:54:08] Speaker D: Oh, you're Aries. I think it's fire sign. [00:54:11] Speaker C: It is when it's my. [00:54:17] Speaker D: Just going to. I'm just going to call this like I'm seeing it. I'm feeling some serious vibes happening right now. And I got to take care of my nephews but I could ditch them in a stranger's house anytime if you want to take the flight back to Limbrook right now. [00:54:32] Speaker C: Well, we are turning around right away. As you know, Limbrook Air does non stop flights between Lynbrook and Rockville center. By which we mean we don't stop in Rockville center for very long and turn right back around and go to Lynbrook. [00:54:49] Speaker D: Yes. Correct. And I know that there is an opportunity here to join the 45ft high code. [00:54:56] Speaker C: That's right. [00:54:57] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:54:58] Speaker C: And you know, actually I've never done it on the plane before. [00:55:04] Speaker D: Great. Tommy. [00:55:07] Speaker A: Yes. [00:55:07] Speaker D: Go get your brothers. Strap in at the farthest seat to the back. Will be ten minutes in this conversation. We already missed our window to go to the rock museum. But we're just going to go right back home. Okay. [00:55:23] Speaker C: Okay. [00:55:24] Speaker E: Can I have the extra strength headphones? [00:55:28] Speaker D: Yeah, of course. [00:55:29] Speaker C: Thank you. [00:55:29] Speaker E: Blocks out all the noise. [00:55:30] Speaker C: We cut to 1 minute later. Oh, Uncle Mike, you're back, guys. [00:55:35] Speaker D: All right. Time to go to the rock museum. Let's see if we can make it. [00:55:39] Speaker E: What happened with the lady? [00:55:41] Speaker D: Don't worry about it. I'll tell you when you're older. [00:55:44] Speaker E: Oh, eight or older. [00:55:46] Speaker D: You are a little shit, you know that, Tommy? [00:55:50] Speaker C: Yeah, a lot. [00:55:55] Speaker D: I'm going to leave you on this flight. I'm going to go to the rock museum myself. All right. [00:56:01] Speaker C: And by the way, you keep calling it the rock museum. It's the Rock hall of Fame. It's not informative. It's celebratory. [00:56:09] Speaker D: Oh, yeah. [00:56:10] Speaker C: I'll try. [00:56:10] Speaker D: That's right. I'm sorry. Yes, that's right. [00:56:12] Speaker C: Let's run them down. Plymouth. [00:56:14] Speaker E: And then afterwards let's go to the Hard Rock cafe next door. [00:56:18] Speaker D: Yeah, no, they got. Yeah, we're in no rush whatsoever. Right. We can take our time. We can make a full day of this. [00:56:26] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:56:26] Speaker E: Didn't you send your loser friends to check on what's his face. [00:56:30] Speaker D: Yeah, our brother. Okay. Right. They're fine. I'm not fine. Hold still, sir. You're not letting me put the wrist improperly. [00:56:42] Speaker E: You got to hit it in the eye. [00:56:44] Speaker D: You got to hit it in the eye. All right, Joe. [00:56:49] Speaker C: Yeah, it's mostly on now. Like, maybe we just take a break. [00:56:56] Speaker D: You're okay with that? I mean, hey, that's fine with me, but, hey, if this thing catches on a corner or something like that, it's coming right back off. Fine. [00:57:04] Speaker E: I've never been this flexible before. Some people have a hitchhiker's thumb. I have a hitchhiker's hand. [00:57:11] Speaker D: Yeah. Okay. You know what? You're looking at the positive. I appreciate it. [00:57:17] Speaker E: That's a full 90 degree angle. [00:57:18] Speaker D: Yeah. No, that's disgusting. [00:57:21] Speaker C: And you can keep coins in there? Yeah, as well. [00:57:25] Speaker E: It's like a Pez dispenser. There's an image for you. [00:57:30] Speaker C: So, Joe, how long are you in town? Forever, you said? [00:57:33] Speaker E: Hopefully not too long until I save. [00:57:35] Speaker D: Up enough money to pay for the $25 fee to get out of here. [00:57:39] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:57:39] Speaker E: How much is the surgery? [00:57:44] Speaker D: It's free. [00:57:45] Speaker E: Thank you so much. [00:57:46] Speaker D: Dollars. Okay. Yeah, it's free. I don't believe in privatized medicine, so I just kind of go for it. I'm not capable of thinking about myself. [00:57:54] Speaker C: Because you live so close. [00:57:55] Speaker E: Fucking leave. You should hang here. [00:57:58] Speaker D: Yeah, that's fine. [00:58:00] Speaker E: Let's get some Medicare in Limbra. [00:58:02] Speaker C: Yeah. Alex, do you think. We haven't had a surgeon general yet? Should we hire a surgeon? A surgeon general? [00:58:11] Speaker E: Yeah. I mean, he is a. [00:58:14] Speaker C: You make sense. Joe, would you do us the honor? One knee. I get on one knee, and Alex gets on top of my knee and sort of. [00:58:25] Speaker E: I sit on his knee. [00:58:26] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:58:27] Speaker E: Like it's a chair. [00:58:28] Speaker C: Like he's a ventriloquist puppet. And I'm moving Alex's mouth. Would you like to be the surgeon general of Limbrook? [00:58:37] Speaker D: This is a disturbing image. [00:58:40] Speaker C: What? It's just two men, one of whom is sitting on another's lap while his hand flops back and forth and I move his mouth. [00:58:50] Speaker D: Yeah. How's your malpractice insurance? [00:58:56] Speaker C: Bulletproof. [00:58:59] Speaker D: Fantastic. [00:59:00] Speaker C: Literally. [00:59:00] Speaker D: Yeah. They're all taken. [00:59:02] Speaker C: All right. [00:59:03] Speaker D: Yay. [00:59:04] Speaker C: Do you want to come with us as we go through this house and find this child that we're supposed to. [00:59:08] Speaker D: Yeah, it's been a while since I packed a kid. Let's go. [00:59:11] Speaker C: Bagged a kid? Is that what you said? [00:59:13] Speaker D: We got to bag this kid. We got to lock them up. [00:59:16] Speaker E: Oh, lock them up. [00:59:17] Speaker C: Well, I mean, we've got to lock the dangerous things in the house away. Yeah, we can rationalize, right, Alex? I think so. This is the kitchen. And if I'm remembering the floor plan from the Airbnb website, there should be a bathroom around the corner. [00:59:36] Speaker D: Hmm. [00:59:37] Speaker C: Hello? [00:59:38] Speaker E: Oh, yeah, here it is. [00:59:39] Speaker D: Knock, knock the door open. Well, that's safe. [00:59:46] Speaker E: Let's go in. [00:59:47] Speaker C: Hello? Mike? Ollie, are you in here? [00:59:50] Speaker D: Two toilets shoot out and hit you both in the shin. [00:59:53] Speaker E: Oh, my shin. That's going to leave a nasty bruise. [00:59:58] Speaker C: God, at least that was on. Was. That was funny, I have to admit. [01:00:03] Speaker E: But I forgot my bruise journal. [01:00:05] Speaker C: Don't worry, I'll make a note in mind for you to remind you. Thank you. [01:00:08] Speaker A: We got four empty air podiums upstairs in Mike's low library. [01:00:13] Speaker C: I think he'll need those. Then. I'd have to, knowing my colleague. I know it's been a little tense. Right? You tied us up on top of the twins. Oh, shit. [01:00:27] Speaker D: Stop. [01:00:27] Speaker E: Chicken. [01:00:28] Speaker C: Take that hat off. [01:00:31] Speaker A: I like my hat. You get around the leprechaun. [01:00:34] Speaker C: Yeah, we all get it. Yeah. We're not afraid of leprechauns. Don't speak for lucky charms at us. [01:00:44] Speaker A: Stop. [01:00:45] Speaker E: They're magically delicious, Alex. [01:00:49] Speaker C: Delicious. Alex, I have a plan. [01:00:51] Speaker E: What's your plan? [01:00:55] Speaker C: Singing the sopranos theme song to himself in the bathroom mirror. We have. Joe, do you have any antiseptic or aftershave in your doctor's bag? [01:01:19] Speaker D: You know what? I got vodka. [01:01:21] Speaker C: That'll do. [01:01:23] Speaker E: Alex, I'm way ahead of you, man. Here, we'll just use this towel. Just the towel in the top of the vodka. [01:01:30] Speaker C: No, I'm saying switch out the cologne or the aftershave with the vodka, because he just finished shaving. [01:01:40] Speaker E: And then we hit him with the lighter. [01:01:44] Speaker C: Only if things get really bad, because Mike will be pissed at us if we set his nephew on fire. [01:01:51] Speaker E: Yeah, he's such a bitch when he's upset. Let's try to not kill him. [01:01:55] Speaker C: So we'll take that opportunity. We'll subdue him, lock him in the law library, call Mike, get back to what we were going to do, because those meals aren't going to get on wheels themselves. [01:02:08] Speaker E: Oh, is that what we were going to do today? I thought we were going to play Batgammon. [01:02:12] Speaker C: No, we were going to. Well, I mean, on the off time, but mainly because it's MLK day. It's a day of service. We were going to sort of honor his legacy by driving around to the low income neighborhoods and delivering me. [01:02:23] Speaker E: Oh, backgammon. I have my racket and everything. [01:02:29] Speaker C: Badminton. All right, the day is basically over. We can go play back gammon after this. [01:02:39] Speaker E: Okay, let's catch this. [01:02:40] Speaker C: Yeah, let's catch this, kid. Joe, give me that vodka. [01:02:45] Speaker D: What? [01:02:46] Speaker C: Would you want the vodka? [01:02:48] Speaker D: Oh, yeah. Here you go. Are we giving it to the kid? [01:02:51] Speaker C: No, we're doing an elaborate thing where we're putting it in the aftershave. Because, you see, he's shaving. [01:02:56] Speaker E: It's a reference. Kid, are you okay? [01:03:00] Speaker A: I'm vibing. I'm great. [01:03:02] Speaker D: Let's leave. [01:03:05] Speaker C: Oh, Alex, we can't abandon him. [01:03:07] Speaker E: Well, I'm sure we. [01:03:11] Speaker D: This. Yeah. [01:03:12] Speaker C: Are you a licensed childcare provider? [01:03:15] Speaker D: Not in the least. [01:03:17] Speaker C: See, I'm torn. [01:03:18] Speaker D: But I'm also not a licensed medical practitioner. [01:03:22] Speaker C: What? [01:03:22] Speaker D: And you hired me for surgeon general, so who cares about that? [01:03:25] Speaker C: That is true. We've already lowered our standards significantly. [01:03:29] Speaker D: I'm a libertarian. I don't believe in licensing for anything. [01:03:32] Speaker E: What does renting books out to people have to do with anything? [01:03:38] Speaker C: Look. [01:03:38] Speaker D: See, that's exactly the problem with this country. [01:03:40] Speaker C: No, shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Give me some of that aftershave. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. [01:03:52] Speaker E: Wow, Adam, I think we found your line. We found the line. [01:03:56] Speaker C: It's right there. [01:03:58] Speaker E: Don't like libraries much, do you? [01:04:00] Speaker C: No. Listen, we were hired to do one thing and one thing only. To subdue this child. [01:04:15] Speaker D: All right? I've worked weirder jobs. That's fine. [01:04:18] Speaker C: It's a simple thing. Look, he's shaving. He just keeps going over it. There's not much there, but I think he likes the feeling of the razor. I'm going to distract him by asking him a question about Raymond. You guys switch out the aftershave with vodka. Because he's using children's aftershave. If we bump it up a little bit, he'll be incapacitated and we'll be able to. It'll be a good sting. Good sting. Perfect. His face. [01:04:52] Speaker E: I'm going to start tiptoeing. [01:04:53] Speaker C: You talk to the kid, Mike. Ollie, I know we've talked about the episode a little bit, but I want to ask you about the scene of the men watching the game. Know, Deborah leaves Ray's home alone, so he invites the boys over. We got Andy, Kevin, Gianni as a child with an absentee father. What did you think about that scene? While your dad is always away modeling suits? [01:05:26] Speaker A: It's the first weekend. I mean, it's not. All right, that's fine. [01:05:30] Speaker C: So what did you think about the whole conversation of Kevin asking them the last time they cried? [01:05:41] Speaker A: Understand much about emotional intricacies, but I will say I thought it was very funny how uncomfortable they got. Immediately thought that it was great. I thought it was great how it just kind of scared the other guys away. It just kind of left Bray to be more abandoned. It was kind of really funny. Don't get me wrong. I know it was like a commentary about how men don't like to talk about their feelings. But also, I'm watching the Knicks game and someone asks me randomly, hey, when's the last time you cried? I'd say, piss off. I want to watch the know. That's the thing. [01:06:20] Speaker C: You're a Knicks fan. [01:06:21] Speaker A: In this case, he's playing the Lakers. [01:06:24] Speaker C: Are you a Knicks fan? [01:06:27] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm from Jersey, so I like the Nets. [01:06:30] Speaker C: What about the 76 ers? [01:06:32] Speaker A: Depending on where I'm at. [01:06:33] Speaker C: Yeah, that's what I was going to ask. What about the 76 ers? [01:06:36] Speaker A: We're like in the middle. The treading could go either way. We decided to go the nets, but then they abandoned us. So. I don't know. My dad has a lot of strong feelings on the subject. But he doesn't like to talk about it unless he's got three of his coronas. [01:06:47] Speaker C: Well, glossing over that. What did you think about Ray's response, though? Ray cried, Alex, that is really overflowing. I think you've got enough in there. It's coming off of the counter onto the floor. I can't believe he's so engrossed in. Well, he's looking at his phone now. He's looking for sopranos theme song lyric video. [01:07:13] Speaker A: Look at this. It's a great song. I love that song. [01:07:19] Speaker C: But look, I think we're good. Just screw the cap back on. And then. Yeah, we got him. What do you think about Ray's response to that question? He was watching the twins go into preschool and Michael held Jeffrey's hand. What'd you think about that? [01:07:35] Speaker A: I thought that was really. Why were you saying, they're boys. They should be playing with dinosaurs. [01:07:44] Speaker C: I have a very simple set of hands. Yeah, what did you think? I bet you were all about Gianni's response. Gianni responded with some real toxic masculinity in this. Really? He says, ray, you're the one who just told us you cried because you think your twins are gay. Which the shock of that line did make me laugh. But that is a fucked up thing to say. [01:08:12] Speaker A: Very funny line. It's a very funny line. I thought that was great. [01:08:17] Speaker C: You thought it was great and you agree with it? And it's funny. [01:08:20] Speaker A: Yeah, sure. [01:08:21] Speaker C: Are you being radicalized online? [01:08:25] Speaker A: You know what I found this great organization called four Chan organization. [01:08:31] Speaker C: You refer to it as? Oh, they finally got their 501 C three. Did they? [01:08:38] Speaker A: I don't know if it was numbers. [01:08:39] Speaker C: Yeah. I think I'm going to have Mike talk to your parents about that. [01:08:43] Speaker A: But can I have the aftershave? [01:08:46] Speaker C: Oh, you're done? Sure. Absolutely. [01:08:49] Speaker A: There you go. [01:08:50] Speaker C: Absolutely. Why don't you slap that on each of your fingers and put it on your face? He did it. Okay. [01:09:04] Speaker D: Yeah. [01:09:06] Speaker C: And then he turns around, realizes what we've done and slashes us with his. [01:09:17] Speaker D: Beard. [01:09:18] Speaker A: My side. [01:09:19] Speaker E: My eyebrows. [01:09:20] Speaker C: Oh, he got your other hand, Alex. [01:09:23] Speaker A: I hope that stings. [01:09:27] Speaker C: Let's cut to the gift shop at the rock hall of Fame. I want this rock. I want this rock and I want. [01:09:34] Speaker E: This rock and I don't want that rock. But I want this rock and I want this. [01:09:38] Speaker D: Tommy. Tommy. You already have four sedimentaries. How many more could you possibly want? [01:09:42] Speaker C: He needs an igneous. Exactly. Jinx. [01:09:46] Speaker E: You owe me the third kind of rock. [01:09:48] Speaker C: Which is. [01:09:49] Speaker D: Yep. [01:09:50] Speaker E: Anyway, Uncle Mark G. This place sure is neat. [01:09:54] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:09:55] Speaker D: I'm glad you enjoyed you. I thought that you'd have a good time here. [01:09:59] Speaker C: I think they're really leaning into people being confused and thinking Dwayne Johnson is going to be here. [01:10:09] Speaker D: I think that that's false advertising on their part. I think you're right about that, Billy. [01:10:12] Speaker C: You should sue them. I know you're studying for the bar. Hence the law. [01:10:19] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:10:19] Speaker D: Yeah, that's true. I am standing for. [01:10:22] Speaker C: You're studying for the bar to defend yourself in court, right? Yeah, because of the incident on the. [01:10:29] Speaker D: Li r. Well, that one is a clear cleaning cut. [01:10:33] Speaker C: Indeed it was. The way you got yourself stuck in the door, that was a clear, clean cut. [01:10:40] Speaker D: Okay, listen, I don't know how much your parents told you, but again, it wasn't my fault. [01:10:45] Speaker C: I saw it on fox five. They cut into Seinfeld for it. [01:10:56] Speaker D: They ojed me. All right, listen, it was not my finest moment. It wasn't, but. [01:11:04] Speaker A: Oh, look. [01:11:05] Speaker D: An Ichmius rock. [01:11:06] Speaker A: Hey, Tommy. Here. [01:11:15] Speaker C: You really need to. I think it would really mean a lot to Tyler if we commemorated this trip with you buying a rock for him. [01:11:25] Speaker D: You think so? [01:11:26] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:11:27] Speaker D: Tyler, buy him a rock. Tyler, what kind of rock do you want? How about this? One. [01:11:43] Speaker C: Mike hands Tyler. Mike hands Tyler a stone letter I. [01:11:54] Speaker D: He seems to like it. [01:11:56] Speaker C: He snapped out of it. [01:11:57] Speaker A: He's back. [01:11:58] Speaker D: We got and he's back. He's back to the morning. All right, guys, I think. What do you say we get back to your brother Mike Collie? [01:12:04] Speaker C: All right. Is there another flight leaving? [01:12:07] Speaker D: Yeah, there's one there all the time. They only take a few minutes. [01:12:10] Speaker C: Okay, I guess. Let's go back to the airport. [01:12:15] Speaker D: Everybody get your shoes off now. Let's go. We're going to be ready. [01:12:19] Speaker C: We see a montage of Mike leading the children through the airport. He's in a hurry because the plane, it doesn't stay in Rockville center for long before it turns around, gets to the gate, checks in, sits down. We've got four de f, but G is empty. [01:12:41] Speaker D: Hey, kid, we're closing. [01:12:46] Speaker C: Am I late? I'm here for the meet and greet. It's me, Mr. Johnson. [01:12:56] Speaker E: Dwayne. [01:12:57] Speaker D: Yeah, we closed about 20 minutes ago. I guess you missed it. Hey, we got this kid here. You could take a picture with him for sure. [01:13:07] Speaker C: I love to take a picture. [01:13:08] Speaker D: All right, Tyler, smile big. Dwayne. [01:13:11] Speaker C: Hit the flex. [01:13:13] Speaker D: All right, here we go. Three, two, one. [01:13:20] Speaker A: We forgot. [01:13:22] Speaker C: Oh, my. Just. Let's stay out here for a minute and just. We're going to wait for Mike to get back, I think, to take care of the kid. [01:13:35] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:13:36] Speaker E: I don't think we were up for this particular. Like, we have faced horrendous foes in the past, but this kid takes the cake. [01:13:45] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:13:46] Speaker E: He was worse than the impractical jokers. He was worse than whatever we did in season two. I honestly can't remember. I'm so much fucking pain. [01:13:56] Speaker C: Me, too. I barely remember the last 65 episodes, honestly. Who are you again? [01:14:04] Speaker E: I don't know. [01:14:05] Speaker C: The paint is, like, leaking into my blood brain barrier. [01:14:10] Speaker E: Something with dunk this, donuts. There's something about chip fest at one point. I don't know. There's a lot of bullshit that happens. [01:14:16] Speaker D: You see an Uber pulls up. Hey, guys, you get my coley back? Yeah. [01:14:23] Speaker C: Hey, Mike. [01:14:24] Speaker D: Hey. We got the other three right here. [01:14:31] Speaker C: I see, like, 48 of you. I don't know, but what's going on? How was wherever you went? [01:14:38] Speaker D: The rock museum was good. It was a good time. We saw a lot of over. We got Tommy over here in igneous. Isn't that right, Tommy? [01:14:47] Speaker C: That's right. Igneous. [01:14:49] Speaker D: Yeah, he learned a lot of new words. We learned some great new words today. And Billy was there. [01:14:58] Speaker C: Yeah. Uncle Mike, you said ass hat and fuck. [01:15:02] Speaker D: No, don't worry about that. [01:15:06] Speaker C: He went into the bathroom with the flight attendant for about a minute and then came out looking really embarrassed. And then I think she called the air marshal on him, so I don't think he's allowed to fly anymore. [01:15:19] Speaker D: Okay, well, we flew back, so that's wrong. [01:15:23] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, you're right. You didn't get put on the do not fly list. You got put on the do not fuck list. Sorry. [01:15:32] Speaker D: Yeah. Which is arguably worse. I'm starting to think maybe going to h might not be the worst idea in the world to get off of that one. To get away from that mistake. [01:15:43] Speaker C: I don't know, Mike. It sounds like you had a great time. Look, we tried. He's in there with a surgeon and, I don't know. There was a saw, there was a. [01:15:55] Speaker E: Bear, there was vodka. A lot happened. [01:15:59] Speaker D: Oh, yeah, that checks out. [01:16:01] Speaker C: Where are his parents? He said he didn't know where his parents are. [01:16:05] Speaker D: They went to Boston. [01:16:07] Speaker C: They went to Boston. [01:16:09] Speaker D: What for the suits convention. [01:16:12] Speaker C: They were going to meet Meghan Markle. [01:16:15] Speaker D: Yeah, that's right. [01:16:16] Speaker C: Okay. [01:16:17] Speaker D: Suits takes place in Boston, right? [01:16:19] Speaker C: I have no fucking. [01:16:22] Speaker D: On. Hold on. [01:16:23] Speaker C: Let's see who can find it first. I'm pulling out my jitterbug and looking at B. And suits takes place in New York City, baby. You were wrong. You were wrong about suits. They clearly were going to some sort of industry convention because they are suit models. [01:16:50] Speaker D: That's true. We know that about them now. [01:16:52] Speaker C: Yes. [01:16:52] Speaker D: All right, guys. [01:16:53] Speaker C: Well, your brother and his wife, remember this, are suit models in New York City. [01:17:02] Speaker D: There is no way I'm going to remember that at all, ever. [01:17:04] Speaker C: But they live in Trenton, New Jersey. [01:17:07] Speaker E: Someone will remember and correct us when we inevitably get that, in fact, wrong in the future. [01:17:13] Speaker D: I will say, though, how about the three of us go take a boys trip to Rockville center to go get my other nephew back, and on the way there, we can talk about our thoughts on the episode. [01:17:26] Speaker C: Are we going to have to take the boat? The ferry that goes? [01:17:31] Speaker E: How about we just walk? It's a five minute walk. [01:17:33] Speaker C: Oh, all right. Let's go walk over there and get your nephew. Hey, while we're walking, I have a question for you. [01:17:42] Speaker D: Yeah. [01:17:43] Speaker C: Ray and Robert, in this episode, had a Popeye nightlight when they were growing up. [01:17:50] Speaker D: Yes. [01:17:51] Speaker C: If you had to guess, price is right. Closest without going over R-I-P. Bob Barker. How much do you think you can get? A vintage Popeye rubber nightlight, 1959 Alan J. King features no light plug on eBay. [01:18:07] Speaker D: For I'm going to say 24. 99. [01:18:12] Speaker C: Alex. [01:18:16] Speaker E: $25. [01:18:17] Speaker C: Alex is the winner because it's $30. [01:18:22] Speaker D: That wasn't a bad gift either. All right. Now, if you want one, has a much better chance. Again, that sucks. [01:18:29] Speaker C: All right, if you want one that works, that has a light and plug. How much do you think that's going for? [01:18:38] Speaker D: 32. 99. [01:18:40] Speaker C: Okay. Alex, 33. Alex is the winner. It's $125. [01:18:48] Speaker D: I'm a dig rent. Fuck. [01:18:52] Speaker C: That's the market. I was listening to that guy in there, and he was giving me some really insightful, really, my whole perspective has changed, and I love the market. [01:19:03] Speaker D: Yeah. [01:19:03] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:19:05] Speaker D: Joe in the distance shouts out, come. [01:19:12] Speaker E: Oh, that's. We like Joe, by the way. [01:19:15] Speaker D: Oh, yeah. Do we? What's this deal? [01:19:17] Speaker C: He's the surgeon general. [01:19:18] Speaker E: He's living here. [01:19:19] Speaker D: He's a surgeon. [01:19:20] Speaker A: Oh, is he a medical. [01:19:20] Speaker E: We hired him. [01:19:21] Speaker C: Yeah, or something. He fixed Alex's hands. See? [01:19:26] Speaker E: Yeah. Want a pez? [01:19:28] Speaker D: That doesn't look too fixed from my perspective, that looks actually, I kind of want to vomit every second. That should have. Please put it away. [01:19:35] Speaker C: Okay. [01:19:36] Speaker E: You should have seen it before. [01:19:37] Speaker C: Yeah, it was bad. [01:19:38] Speaker D: Okay. [01:19:39] Speaker C: Joe's in there right now. He's helping what's his face. My colleague book tickets to. [01:19:47] Speaker D: Oh, good. [01:19:48] Speaker E: Okay. [01:19:48] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:19:50] Speaker D: So, guys, I'm going to be honest with you guys. This episode I didn't really think was one of the best of all the ones that we saw. I really wasn't a big fan of this one. And part of that was because when I was looking through the TV Guide, the description of it said, the kids and Deborah leave for the weekend, and Ray hangs out with his friends, parentheses, Kevin James for the weekend. [01:20:16] Speaker C: It made it seem like, or at. [01:20:17] Speaker D: Least on we, which, as you all know, we stream to everybody. We use the peacock version. [01:20:22] Speaker C: We all share a login for the town. It's [email protected]. [01:20:26] Speaker D: It made it seem like Kevin James was going to be a guest star, and he was barely a part of the cold open. [01:20:32] Speaker E: He was in there for 30 seconds less. [01:20:34] Speaker C: That is misleading, for sure, because he's barely in it. He's there to say that he cried while watching honey, I shrunk the kids and then gets body shamed, which is a piece. [01:20:46] Speaker D: It's a very funny scene. I'm going to be 100% honest. I know. It's like, all right. It's not like, it's not good. Technically. [01:20:54] Speaker C: I thought it was a fine scene. [01:20:56] Speaker D: Very funny. [01:20:59] Speaker E: I think they should have just leaned into that. I think it would have almost been, like, a cool idea for them to raise. One night with the guy turns into a night of emotional vulnerabilities, and they kind of play on that as the humorous thing. [01:21:12] Speaker C: I think that would be funny. [01:21:13] Speaker E: Where he's like, the first time he actually opens up is with his bros. [01:21:17] Speaker D: I like that. I like that, too. Well, they do have the great scene, the great episode about therapy later on. I think it's a later season, but. Where Frank, Robert, and Ray all go to therapy together. Spoiler alerts. But they go to therapy. But in reality, they go to the racetracks, where when their wives think they go to the therapy and it turns into an emotionally vulnerable thing. It's a great episode. [01:21:43] Speaker C: I freaking think I remember that one. While we're on, just running through stuff, let's talk about the scene where Ray is at home alone at night in bed, and he hears a sound, gets up, jumps up. All right, that was something. Goes out into the hallway, turns on the light, makes a noise. He closes the door and then says, now I can't hear the murderer, and leaves it a jar, turns on the discovery. [01:22:10] Speaker E: I relate to that. I sleep with the door open for the same reason I sleep with the. [01:22:15] Speaker D: Door closed for the reason of. I don't want to hear the murderer coming. [01:22:19] Speaker E: No, like, need the door open. Otherwise, how else will I be able to grab my sword and defend myself? [01:22:25] Speaker D: Don't have a sword. [01:22:26] Speaker C: I. [01:22:26] Speaker E: Of course I have a sword, Mike. You've seen my sword. [01:22:29] Speaker D: That's true. He's used it on me. [01:22:32] Speaker E: Yeah, you could see it, right? [01:22:33] Speaker C: We all saw your sword, Mike, on the news. [01:22:39] Speaker D: All right, guys, moving on. [01:22:42] Speaker C: Anyway, he turns on the Discovery Channel, which is showing a gazelle being eaten by a lion, and he. No, no, thanks, Robert. Stupid nature. Remember when the Discovery Channel. Here's some podcasts. Remember when the Discovery Channel used to show nature stuff instead of ice road truckers? That's actually on the History Channel. I googled it. [01:23:01] Speaker D: I was going to make sure one stars. All the fun stuff is on the History channel. [01:23:07] Speaker C: Naked and afraid is on discovery, which technically, I guess, is nature. But we're focusing on the most dangerous game, which is man, instead of the. [01:23:17] Speaker E: Most dangerous game, which is discovering your bisexuality. [01:23:21] Speaker C: It's very much bisexuality roulette, isn't it, Alex? [01:23:28] Speaker E: Look, it was a crazy time to watch that show and then come away and realize, oh, my God, I'm also attracted to women. [01:23:36] Speaker C: Congratulations. [01:23:37] Speaker E: Thank you. [01:23:38] Speaker C: They got naked and afraid. They got bear Grylls. They got all that. And then the Discovery networks is all that. You got guy Fieri in that fold. Imagine a crossover episode where Guy Fieri is naked and afraid. Would that be something? [01:23:58] Speaker D: It's just the Halloween episode of Divers. Divers and drummers where it's the same episode, it's the same show, same format. It's just guys here, he's in the bus. [01:24:08] Speaker E: No one talks about it. [01:24:11] Speaker C: All the diners having to keep up the enthusiasm of like, this place is the greatest. I go here all the time with my family every week. Meanwhile, guy is sitting nude in the booth over a plate of loaded nachos. [01:24:26] Speaker D: I'm here for it. Discovery, send us a check. [01:24:29] Speaker C: Discovery, send us a check. [01:24:31] Speaker E: But yeah, this episode, I kind of agree with Mike. I don't think it was anything particularly special. I didn't dislike it. I just thought it was like a middle of the road kind of. There could have been more they could have done with it. [01:24:45] Speaker C: There was one scene, or in the scene at Barone, Frank's house, there was one bit that got me. So they're talking. Know, Frank used to scare them so bad. Know, Robert used to wet the bed. And then Robert confesses that he told Frank that Ray was afraid of leprechauns. Ray feels bad. Confesses that Robert never wet his bed. Ray would wait until he fell asleep and then pour a glass of water in there. That made me laugh. And then Marie's tag on that. I always wondered why it was up by your shoulders. That got me. That was such a good line. [01:25:25] Speaker D: Such a good line. [01:25:29] Speaker C: Anything else in that scene? I guess. And one other thing about that scene with Ray is the callback to Ali's toy that we saw in the cold open that you talk to. And it repeats what you said in a high pitched, sped up voice. [01:25:43] Speaker E: Those things suck. [01:25:44] Speaker D: They're awful. They're the worst. [01:25:46] Speaker C: And Ray finds it in the bed. And when Ray screams no, the toy then screams, no, no. Freaks him out. Sort of. The button on that. [01:25:56] Speaker D: Good. [01:25:57] Speaker E: I think that was a good little. [01:25:58] Speaker C: Yeah, I think anytime they execute a callback like that, I love it. Last thing, because I know we're about to walk across that. We're about to come up to the toll booth because. Pedestrian toll as well. But last thing, before we do that, just want to say Ray's song. Jacuzzi. Jacuzzi. I don't know. What do we think? Charity single that we record? [01:26:21] Speaker D: Yeah, definitely. No, we can flesh that out. I thought that you were like on a billboard out of ten. I would say it's probably a one on a billboard. [01:26:30] Speaker C: Out of we shoot. What do you mean by that? [01:26:32] Speaker D: Well, billboard. [01:26:33] Speaker C: Yeah, on the charts. [01:26:34] Speaker D: The charts? [01:26:35] Speaker C: Yeah, the charts go way beyond good news. The charts go all the way to. [01:26:40] Speaker D: 101 out of 100. [01:26:44] Speaker C: Then I can't imagine number one. [01:26:47] Speaker D: Yeah, exactly. [01:26:48] Speaker C: I think good song, good melody. Pretty good. [01:26:52] Speaker D: No, I like. [01:26:53] Speaker A: Sure. [01:26:53] Speaker D: Yeah. [01:26:55] Speaker E: Let's make a whole song out of it. [01:26:57] Speaker D: You threw him $25.25 crossing the bridge. [01:27:01] Speaker C: Yeah, it looks like he's doing something in there. He's papers shuffling around, sir. Tap on the glass. Hello. Hi. Dave, right? Toll Booth Dave? Yeah. Hey, we want to. Yeah, here. We want to go across. [01:27:24] Speaker A: Okay. [01:27:25] Speaker C: Please lower the bridge. How are you? [01:27:29] Speaker D: Finals are coming up and they kind of suck. [01:27:32] Speaker E: It's January. [01:27:33] Speaker C: He's on a half term kind of situation. This is one of Mike's other nephews from his sister's family. [01:27:43] Speaker D: Hey, Dave, how you doing? So we could really use the bridge lowered suit. Yeah. [01:27:50] Speaker A: All right. [01:27:51] Speaker D: I could use a raise. [01:27:54] Speaker C: Hold on, hold on. [01:27:55] Speaker D: Just minimum wage in a while. [01:27:58] Speaker C: Mike, remember we passed that law where we can pay children under minimum wage? [01:28:04] Speaker D: That's true. [01:28:05] Speaker C: As long as they work unsafe. [01:28:09] Speaker D: What? That's why we put the exposed and used syringes all around him in there. [01:28:15] Speaker E: Well, I wasn't going to sign that bill, but, man, those lobbyists, they just brought us so many freaking pies. [01:28:21] Speaker C: I know. [01:28:24] Speaker D: I'm sorry. I just bumped into a wall. I just got a few shots. [01:28:28] Speaker C: Yeah, sorry about that. Two things can be good. We can have jobs for teenagers and we can have safe needle disposal sites. But maybe we shouldn't have put you inside of one of those. [01:28:45] Speaker E: Good news. You're now vaccinated against smallpox. However, you also did just contract the HIV virus. [01:28:51] Speaker A: Yeah, no, first time. [01:28:53] Speaker D: All right, you guys want. [01:28:55] Speaker C: Hey, did you know if you take discovie for prep, you can get to and stay undetectable? [01:29:01] Speaker D: Oh, that's great. [01:29:02] Speaker A: I did not know that. Okay, anyway, the lever to lower the bridge is covered in broken glass. Harry. Here you go. This is going to suck. [01:29:14] Speaker C: Oh, boy. Mike, that must. Thankfully, he closed the partition, so he didn't hear him scream. That must be hard for you to see your sister's boy go through that. But you're not close with her, right? [01:29:27] Speaker D: No, not at all. Not at all. I feel nothing. He didn't give me a present. [01:29:31] Speaker C: He didn't give you a Christmas present? Yeah, I mean, they live in Connecticut and he makes the commute. I mean, you expect them to come all the way. [01:29:40] Speaker D: Sucks. So, anyway, should we. [01:29:45] Speaker C: Yeah. So let's do the barometer. And then let's go pick up your. [01:29:52] Speaker D: As we. As we walk by, we see on billboards Dwayne the rock Johnson next to a very muscular title. They're both flexing in the billboard as we walk by. [01:30:03] Speaker E: It's been, like, an hour. What the hell? [01:30:06] Speaker D: I know what to tell you. All right. Okay. Do you want to do the barometer intro? [01:30:11] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:30:11] Speaker D: Adam. [01:30:11] Speaker C: Or do you? Absolutely. So this is. Congratulations, by the way, Mike, for your nephew's success and buffness. This is the barometer. It's our classic scale on which we rate raise performance on a scale of one to ten, with ten being the great dads of sitcom history, your Danny tanners and Uncle Phil's Carl Winslow's. Alex, can you give me another example of a good dad? [01:30:34] Speaker E: I got a good bad one. So make. [01:30:35] Speaker C: Mike, can you give me another example of a good dad? [01:30:38] Speaker D: Yes. [01:30:41] Speaker C: Barack Obama from television. [01:30:45] Speaker E: He's on television. [01:30:49] Speaker D: All right. [01:30:49] Speaker C: Are you talking about there? [01:30:50] Speaker E: That's the only place I've ever seen Barack Obama is on tv. [01:30:54] Speaker D: That's true. [01:30:54] Speaker C: True story. His limousine drove past me in Times Square once after he saw Hamilton. [01:31:01] Speaker D: Wow. Did you get a handshake? [01:31:04] Speaker C: I saw him wave through the window. [01:31:06] Speaker D: That's pretty cool. [01:31:07] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:31:08] Speaker D: Okay. Do you want me to give you another one? [01:31:09] Speaker C: No, that's. You know, if we're opening it up to people who are behind the camera as know, he and Michelle do have that production deal with Netflix, so higher ground productions is the name of their production company, in case you were curious. He is technically a dad from the world of television. I'll give you. And one being the bad men of television history, your Walter Whites and Don Draper. Men who actively harm their families. Alex, can you give me another example? [01:31:41] Speaker E: Mike's brother. [01:31:43] Speaker C: True. Abandoning his children to go model suits. [01:31:49] Speaker D: Yeah, I agree. He sucks. He gave me too much responsibility. [01:31:52] Speaker C: Yeah. Anyone could have known that you would have fucked this up. [01:31:56] Speaker D: Yeah. [01:31:56] Speaker C: Oh, well. So, Alex, where is Ray? Coming in for you in this episode. [01:32:02] Speaker E: So, see, this is interesting, because the only really shitty thing Ray did this episode is cockblock Robert. [01:32:10] Speaker D: He didn't even do that intentionally, I don't think. [01:32:13] Speaker E: Yeah, no, of course not. Dude's just. He's nervous to sleep. Which I can kind of get right. If you spend basically your entire life sleeping with other people in the house and a lot in the last few years with someone else in your bed, and then suddenly you're all alone, could be kind of scary. I had fears like that for a long time, so it's like, I sympathize with him a lot in this episode. I like that he kind of tried to pull one over on Frank like he got at home. I don't know. Ray didn't really pull through in any meaningful way either. But he also didn't really fuck up in any particular way. He's a real middle of the road Ray this week. I think I'm going to give him just like a pity six. [01:33:07] Speaker C: A pity six. Not to be confused with what Mike got this afternoon. She put it on TikTok. Mike. [01:33:14] Speaker D: Oh, wait, hold. [01:33:19] Speaker E: That's funny. [01:33:20] Speaker D: All right, saved. [01:33:21] Speaker C: Mike, where's Ray? Coming in for you. [01:33:25] Speaker D: Yeah, this is a weird one. I mean, on the one hand, he doesn't do anything actually wrong. On the other hand, he does wake people up or walking by unannounced at three in the morning is way ruder than walking by at, say, 05:00 p.m. That's a very different thing. So I want to dock him some points for that. But yeah, I guess I didn't have any problem with his behavior besides relishing the fact that he didn't have to go to Connecticut with his family. But also I get that 100% being like, all right. Oh, no, I got to have a break from the family. That's fine. I'll be more generous than Alex. I'll give him a seven. [01:34:09] Speaker C: A seven? All right. Yeah. He didn't do much bad. He did cock block, to use your phrase, Robert. And then his manic energy was very odd to me when he came into. He was, I don't know, something wasn't quite right with Ray. But I think maybe it's just that desperation of all of his friends leaving and he's feeling really. I sympathize with the loneliness. I get that. Yeah. And then really, the rest of the episode, he doesn't do anything bad or good, really. I mean, they try to prank Frank and fail, I guess. Him confessing to Robert, even though he did a very cruel thing to him and probably is responsible for a lot of Robert's trauma, he confessed and he made it up to him. I think that's worth something. And I'm going to give him a six as well. So where does that average out to? [01:35:17] Speaker D: That puts us at a 6.3 for this episode here, which I think is a fair resolution. [01:35:23] Speaker E: All right, me too. [01:35:25] Speaker D: Okay, now we just got to go, I guess, and fight Dwayne for the. To my nephew. [01:35:31] Speaker C: Oh, look, is that them over there going into the hand? That's so supportive. He's really got a nice father figure in his life now. [01:35:45] Speaker E: He didn't take his hand. That's my hand he took. [01:35:48] Speaker D: What the. [01:35:49] Speaker C: To get all the way over there? [01:35:50] Speaker E: Go get him, guys. [01:35:51] Speaker D: Mike starts weeping. [01:35:52] Speaker E: How do you get my hand? [01:35:53] Speaker C: Okay. [01:35:54] Speaker D: Falls to the ground. All right, we'll figure this out next time. [01:35:59] Speaker A: Until then, don't forget to follow us. [01:36:01] Speaker C: On all social media, Instagram, and threads at barone zone, facebook.com slash barone. Email [email protected] quickie. They're getting away. They're getting onto the monorail. Go. Obviously the monorail that leads from the rock museum to the hard place museum. Let's go. Come on, come on, come on. Hop on. Okay, we're one monorail car behind them. Anything else before we sign off? Because we're about to fuck this shit up. [01:36:32] Speaker E: Don't forget on the Barone Zonus one time payment. And then you get an extra episode, a month of behind the scenes stuff, mostly. So you get to see us when we're naked and know. Yeah, naked and, yeah, I guess we are a little bit afraid. We play scruples. We watch other episodes with the ray cast in other sitcoms and stuff. And, yeah, we're going to do a bunch of other stuff. [01:37:00] Speaker C: We just did two episodes of the middle or, sorry, two episodes of the Barone Zonus, about five episodes of the middle. [01:37:08] Speaker E: It was a lot. [01:37:08] Speaker C: We've got 17 episodes behind the paywall. You can pay what you want. It's probably the best value in podcasting, which says a lot about how we value ourselves. But I don't know. So that's at postfund.org donate. You can see the list of [email protected] and then go to the barone in the show. Navigate. I shouldn't think so. That's all the information. I think so. Just our classic sign off. And then we'll throw these rocks through the window in the monorail. [01:37:37] Speaker E: Absolutely. [01:37:38] Speaker C: Everybody loves Raymond, and we love.

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